Divorced

Divorced She was smiling A small victory Would he be contesting the house No The cars No Half the savings No You’re agreeing with everything Yes I must say, that is very generous of you He smiled She didn’t You’re giving me everything, just like that Do you have a problem with that No, I’m just surprised I think that concludes our business Hold on a minute, can I sell the house and cars If that’s what you want to do Where will you go I’ll be renting a house, starting again Two days later I’m selling everything, moving to Spain Enjoy yourself You're settling okay Yes, thanks I’ll probably meet someone and settle down in Spain Okay great Have you met someone new No, I’m decorating Do you want me to pick the paper, you know you’ve no taste Already picked it What colour is it Black Don’t know if I like black, do you want me to change it for you No, I like experimenting Okay, I’ll change the house around then Two minutes later What colour should I paint the living room If you’re selling the house, make it a neutral colour I think the sink upstairs is leaking, will you fix it I don’t have transport, plus you really need to be doing this yourself Well just take your old car back, that way you can pop in now and again Julie, you said I did your head in, you wanted a divorce. You got your wish. Now you need to get on with it. I think someone was trying to break in last night I’m sure the alarm would have gone off Maybe you could look at it when you’re fixing the sink My God, what don’t you get, we’re divorced I know that I just didn’t realise you would be moving out Where did you think I’d be going, up the chimney Two days later. Julie’s sister If you get back together with Julie, I’ll sleep with you. John gives me his blessing. He said he’ll sleep with you too The brother You need to take her back, man. I cannot cope with her constantly phoning. I’m suicidal man. It’s that bad, I’m having meetings with her sister, and you know how much I hate that lot. You bloody lot deserve each other. In fact, I’m going to switch the phone off. Nobody knows where I live. For the first time in my life, it’s all going to be about me. Can of beer, and telly. What’s showing tonight? Ah, caught on camera. Families at war. The street brawl live. Wow, brother, great punch to Johns' head. Watch Julie’s sister, though. Oh, high heel to the back of the head. That’ll hurt. Aw, Julie, you shouldn’t kick your sister there. That’ll be the sex out the window then. This is brilliant. I don’t know why that therapist said divorce was stressful