Funny Wife Poems

Donna was a second-hand wife to Larry.
Larry always mentioned it to people.
At church, on the street, at a bar.
He thought it was hilarious!
“Slightly used,” he...

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I love her looks and lovely lips,
The light her sweet smile brings,
And how she speaks and sways her hips--
She flits and floats as if with...

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Stunning beauty her face really was!
She was shaped more like a lovely vase.
Never for a one night stand!
Booze brewed my sins in bare hands!
Beer dragged...

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No so funny, man,
Feeding me spam,
Morbidly yours, all right,
More verbs, how blight,
Don't waste your words,
You're beyond absurd,
Negative chaff and chatter,
Really does not matter,
Get over yourself,...

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John did not try hard with his first wife
she was married, he was not
second wife cheated on him
served him right, he deserved that.

third wife was...

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The man married a wife
Who was the love of his life
He was oh so proud
Despite her uni brow
You see true love in his eye...

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In a church where hymns soar high and free,
A mouse embarked on a daring spree,
Up the stockinged leg, it did dare,
Past the congregation's wide-eyed stare.

The...

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This is the wife’s rejoinder to my earlier post – HUSBAND. Of course, both are written with male and female perspectives and are a figment...

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onyun soups a bind that ties

spousey wins pulitzer prize

recipe steeped

in onyuns weeped

so tasty it closed my eyes.
...

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in this mug is chicken noodles

spousey makes a whole caboodles

evry single day

chases colds away

lets me get back to my doodles.
...

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I once sported a manly beard,
a beastly beard had I.
But then on the farm, at the crack of dawn,
while my lady cheered,
she chopped it off,...

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while I am sitting here writing  to you 
people are trying to steal 

your car, your house,
your business , your best friends, your reputation,...

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An alien snatched my wife one strange night,
To planet Speed, they took her in flight.
But the alien confessed,
She'd been sorely unimpressed,
So back home, he returned...

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My days are numbered now,
Since I married the greedy sow.
She thought it was funny,
Spending all of my money,
I'm back where I started,some how.

She took me...

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A Bawdy or Funny Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
Placed 3rd
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She is a very frustrated wife;
Has a very disturbed married life.
Like her, she wants all...

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