The sage confronted the goofballs, three -
"How dare you donkeys challenge me?
My credentials are unquestioned, twits.
So, scatter forth, boneheads, nitwits."
"Your qualifications are indeed top drawer.
We numskulls are looking for number four."
Ark of laughter far from sea amid earth
Hair be it long or short power still stays
Mite of two, widows, others measure worth
Bitters Holiness Hunger forty days
We are born to this life as possible,
and grow by the choices that we create,
right or wrong, obstacle or optimal,
I'm an ark, hair, mite, or bitters, --I wait.
The Voice, The Voice, The Voice of Heaven, state,
Heed Me, Heed Me, a sacrifice be made,
Abraham your son, a high place you'll take,
Issac the choice, you heed my voice, spare blade,
Amongst the thicket nigh a ram has strayed,
I am, that I am, what Heaven has made.
Let's all try living in harmony side by side
Do we really think that's possible
Or are we destined to live like combatants forever
Which do I think is more possible
Definitely I do have my thoughts on the subject
Mine are honestly not that unique
The majority of people today would surely agree
Most do with a tongue in cheek
Only the dictators in charge are the evil combatants
These nasty ugly war mongers
Thinking only negative thoughts by these ugly beings
How they succeed is a wonder
So to end this sordid and disgusting wartime tale
My mind winds up top drawer
It's the only salvation to life sans conflict I'm afraid
Is to destroy these mongers before
The Last Flight Out
Written: by Miracle Man
September 2, 2021
Aircraft disappeared into the Kabul sky,
minutes later Taliban flooded the street.
They painted themselves to be the good guy,
firing into the air celebrating our retreat.
This last flight ended the U.S.A.’s longest war,
now anguish exists for those left behind.
But our way of exit was not top drawer,
left to die were some who were with us aligned.
Britches' Idioms
Composed: by Miracle Man
1/27/2021
“Britches” is now just a has been, an “ol’ used to be,”
though “he’s loaded for bear” he remains carefree.
He’s faster than “a chicken on a Cheeto” at finger lickin,
life is tough, but “like a dead horse, he ain’t kickin.”
Once “tough as whet leather” he’s now top drawer,
but still tells “how the cow ate the cabbage” and more.
“From trimming tail feathers” he’s become somewhat scarred,
but like a cheap gun, “he shoots quick and kicks hard.”
“He’s as brave as the first man to eat an oyster” they say,
and “Britches” still believes, “that every dog has it’s day.”
“He was so busy you’d think he was twins” in his youth,
now “he has senior moments” being “long in the tooth.”
It’s been “A coon’s age” since life has been fun,
won’t be much longer until life’s “done and done.”
My image will be added to Mount Rushmore
Could be animated of me chuckling forevermore
In the history books, I'd be
One who wrote about pee
Not very dignified but a poet top drawer
I was in love at only seven
Her name was Miss. Grayson
We made butter in mason gars
But, I was the one asked to hand the crackers out
I really scared her one Halloween
I put a paper skeleton in her top drawer
She acted as her fright gave her a heart attack
Her acting was so good I told her after school
I was the one who scared her and I was sorry
She hugged me and with a smile said
Bobby, it’s fine
But, one day she told the class she was to marry
My heart was broken she was my first teacher love
True Story
Contest: Favorite Teacher or Professor
Sponsored by: Chantelle Ann Cooke
Date Created: 01/05/2019
A grand tiger I am. My stripes are superb.
You need to leave me alone. I’m quick to perturb.
I’m king of the wild. A carnivore beast.
God’s molded me and made me top drawer at least.
A bragger, a boaster, now who would not be?
I’m all that and pure yellow, with stripes you can see.
I have a fondness for gemstones that meets crazy at the border.
Today I sorted out the top drawer of my desk, and realized this is where
A million of the missing pieces are hanging out.
Laughing at me probably as I type above their heads
Having no knowledge of them whatsoever.
How jewelry gets stuffed into drawers I do not know.
Are there shoving elves that come at night?
Because these little rascals have commandeered
At least two, maybe three kitchen drawers also.
I clean them out every year or so, and yet,
Everything seems to make its way back.
I found six hundred and eighty-two dollars in change
One summer week when I was cleaning out
My husband’s drawers.
No pun intended, and no, I am not a hooker.
But thank you for showing me that your mind
Also wanders into the gutter keeping mine company.
What is that? The jewelry is screaming for me to wear it.
All of you? I ask.
It nods savagely.
If I had thirty-six fingers, I would.
My toes are large though, and I do not want
To even glimpse at toenails I can use as spades now.
I have to go. There is a little riot here, and I am the sane one.
CLERIHEW REVIEW
Sir Isaac Newton
Though genetically close to an Orang Utan
With his larger cranial cavity
He discovered the law of gravity
Atilla the Hun
Was a man who liked innocent fun
After a day of rape and pillage
He played cricket for his village
King William the Conqueror
Breeding not from the very top drawer
Put that with the deeds of a dastard
He was known as Bill the Bastard
Julius Caesar
Was a really imperious geezer
Though he headed for a fall
You must admit he had the Gaul
King of France: Louis Quatorze
Loved to dress in silky drawers
When asked “Do you feel that’s alright?”
He said: ”Yes, when they’re pulled up tight”
My image to be added to Mount Rushmore
Could be animated of me chuckling forevermore
In the history books, I'd be
One who wrote about pee
Not very dignified but a famous poet top drawer
Sure like my image to be added to Mount Rushmore
It could be animated by me chuckling evermore
In the history books, I'd be
One who wrote about pee
Not very dignified but a poet top drawer
I am sitting at a teacher’s desk.
Not my desk, a borrowed room.
Staring at an orange backpack with
A broken zipper and a cat emblem.
This desk is familiar. There is a torn paper
Plate, a half-eaten sucker, two paper clips, and
Several stacks of ungraded papers dated
A couple of months ago on this desk.
With a two-inch pencil, I dig out a small half
Broken daisy key chain from the rubble.
The edge of one paper has cocoa or pudding
Spilled on it. I am comfortable here. This
Mess is familiar.
Part of my day entails going class to
Class. When the teacher leaves, if I’m
Comfortable I might pry. I’m at a new desk
Now. A recently sanitized desk. I slowly
Pull the top drawer open. There are two
Crisply sharpened pencils. Nothing else.
I slam the drawer shut, uncomfortable
Poking around in this desk, knowing
When the teacher comes back she will
Know if I have switched these pencils
Or even looked at them. It’s that kind
Of room. There is nothing on the
desk top.
Sure like my image to be added to Mount Rushmore
It could be animated with me chuckling evermore
In the history books I'd be
One who wrote about pee
Not very dignified but a poet top drawer
Henry turned four
With a party galore
As his friends ran around
On the soft-padded floor.
You couldn’t ignore
How their spirits did soar
While they bounced and they tumbled
And just wanted more.
All this was before
Pizza (which they adore)
Served with juice which they spilled
Fast as helpers did pour.
Next the cake was in store
With the answer (a roar)
To “Who wants some?” and faces
To clean was my chore.
It was very top-drawer
From the food to décor.
At the end, though, the kids
Were wiped out to the core!
Related Poems