IF I WOULD HAVE KNOWN
...
When you're so low you have to reach up just to touch bottom.
Then when you've reached the bottom you still have to climb higher to reach the top.
This is what having depression feels like....
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Categories:
suicidal ideation, anxiety, death, depression, remember,
Form: Free verse
Shattered
...My heart was shattered last Wednesday
It has been a week
How DARE time march on
without my sweet boy?
I still occasionally forget to breath
and feel like I am underwater
until my body automat...
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Categories:
suicidal ideation, son, suicide,
Form: Free verse
The very abridged version recounting untold tragicomic storied life of Matthew Scott Harris
...The very abridged version recounting untold tragicomic storied life of Matthew Scott Harris
I led a boring life.
The end.
All joking aside, now the epilogue.
As a bookish fellow born Januar...
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Categories:
suicidal ideation, 2nd grade, 3rd grade,
Form: Free verse
Doing absolute zero endeavors
...Doing absolute zero endeavors
Earlier today March 28th, 2025
(thee hour now fifteen minutes
after eight o'clock at night, cuz
yours truly & wife paced back
and forth from one room to the
othe...
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Categories:
suicidal ideation, absence, adventure, angel, angst,
Form: Free verse
Eagerly awaiting until many tomorrows
...Eagerly awaiting until many tomorrows...
to become affianced to the grim reaper,
who never promised me a rose garden
nor crystal clear pool of fragrant delight
to accompany last living breath
...
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Categories:
suicidal ideation, adventure, age, atheist, death,
Form: Free verse
Gloriously luxuriating in eternal sleep
...Gloriously luxuriating in eternal sleep...
versus being alive
predicated victory videre licet lunatic
if Trump trumped Kamala Harris
and stole 2024 presidential election,
(whereat Musk brib...
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Categories:
suicidal ideation, absence, america, angst, beautiful,
Form: Rhyme
turning point
...spinning on high speed mostly out of control
the washing machine failed to conclude any
of its operation according to a wished for manual
given at birth he had not much choice in the matter
due...
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Categories:
suicidal ideation, depression,
Form: Free verse
Pariah heap - savagely subjecting myself to humiliation
...Pariah heap - savagely subjecting myself to humiliation
Outward slovenly appearance bespeaks volumes
wordsworth their weight in gold
(exhumed from the pith
of these lovely bones -
beclothed wi...
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Categories:
suicidal ideation, 12th grade, absence, age,
Form: Free verse
I live in a world of brutal ice and cold
...I live in a world of brutal ice and cold
Despite the temperature being five below...
these fingered handy limbs
awash with profuse sweat
dripping palms analogous
to a bloody busted gushing wat...
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Categories:
suicidal ideation, 7th grade, abuse, allegory,
Form: Free verse
Attitude with latitude
...Attitude with latitude
originally written January 19th, 2019
and tension defines the dynamic
Valiant prince sip pulled effort
rebuffed, snubbed, thumbed
courtesy eldest daughter
uncontested...
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Categories:
suicidal ideation, abuse, anger, anxiety, betrayal,
Form: Free verse
The bane of a cold sore inside my mouth
...The bane of a cold sore inside my mouth
Sent my smooching life south,
whereby I felt like poor Georgie Porgie,
pudding and pie,
who kissed the girls and made them cry.
The medical term for c...
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Categories:
suicidal ideation, analogy, anger, anxiety, bird,
Form: Rhyme
Gloriously Luxuriating In Eternal Sleep
...Gloriously luxuriating in eternal sleep
Forlorn; bereft of golden
(slippered) opportunities I weep;
Three score and four years
replete with mailer daemons,
hence mindset adrip
with self denou...
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Categories:
suicidal ideation, age, angel, anger, angst,
Form: Rhyme
Stream-Of-A-Dream
...I made several grave mistakes on purpose
Accidentally called you by another name
I am a tragedy in reverse in every verse
Shame on me for doing the self-blame game
I had a dream of a stream of ...
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Categories:
suicidal ideation, angst, courage, desire, endurance,
Form: Lyric
Shame and Guilt Sabotaged Mine Healthy Growth
...Shame and guilt sabotaged mine healthy growth...
and let yours truly not forget emasculation
that prickly emotional immobilization
whereby these lovely bones
subject courtesy senescence
upon...
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Categories:
suicidal ideation, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form: Free verse
The Broken Piggy Bank
...The broken piggy bank
strewn into a bajillion little pieces
Unexpected largesse
yours truly patiently waits,
a metaphor of my dire financial straits
courtesy papa's unsuspecting muse
the miss...
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Categories:
suicidal ideation, america, analogy, anger, animal,
Form: Rhyme
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