Substitutes Poems | Examples

In Praise of the Euphemism

Of that body part men activate
to urinate or procreate –
as the case or need may be –
it’s clinical terminology
is still considered by many
as off limits in polite society
whereas its vulgar substitutes
still more than ever constitute 
the norm, though by the puritanical
are condemned as inexcusable.
And, therefore, to circumvent
their use and avoid embarrassment
they’ve been discreetly sanitized
and inoffensively euphemized
or camouflaged, whichever term
will spare you to least squirm –
like peepee, whatchamacallit,
skin faucet, little man, or whatsit.
Whereas using even the proper
or vulgar words will cause a shudder
leading to outbreaks of friction
by those who abhor such diction.
Even a French menu word like “coq”
(rooster, as in “coq au vin”) will shock,
and unless it’s correctly vocalized,
please leave that one unanglicized!

Coffee Power

My morning coffee is a stimulant,
it motivates my regularity in an instant.
And some mornings if my feet I dare to drag
my underwear substitutes for a doggie bag.

The Smitten Heart

You are the pounding thunder in my chest,
Like a drum corps, with every word you speak.
And when I see your smile, there is true rest
And when my eyes meet yours, my knees grow weak.

There is a missing piece in every soul
Filled only by that one, sublimest love.
There are no substitutes to fill this hole
Only you, hold the place I ‘ve oft dreamt of.

Come to me beloved, entwine our hearts!
Be forever near me, spin close beside
And sew a lifetime tether from the start
That shall not fray, divinely stitched inside.

Let us live a tight-knit life, full of awe;
A three-cord bond of you and me and God.

Valentine Dilemma

I thought to bring you
a rose...but roses, short lived
dry, and fall petally away -- 

I thought to bring you a
manufactured heart: made of
chocolate or silk

but substitutes for you
have always been wrong
from the start

so, I showed up empty handed

and the dog and cat
tore me apart....

Therapeutic Lying

If you’re older and somehow not dying,
Yet live with dementia or worse,
Prepare to be hit with some lying
Before your last ride in a hearse.

This strategy’s gaining approval
As nursing homes struggle to cope
With patients whose memory removal
Deprives them of reasons to hope.

So little white lies are suggested
Like, “Your husband will visit real soon”
Since the truth often can’t be digested
And no time will be quite opportune.

Or, “Let’s visit the nursery; maybe
You’ll help rock your child to sleep,”
Where a doll substitutes for the baby
Which remains where the memories keep.

If deception brings comfort, I wonder
Why, to me, it just doesn’t feel right
Reaching into one’s psyche to plunder
What the mind has kept tucked out of sight.

Cacoethes

Cacoethes as infatuation
visited me mostly in my youth.
Those deep yearnings fed my soul
with the lyrics of melancholy love songs
that revolved on my record player’s
turntable as I, in my callow days,
lay in bed drowning in my fantasies
of unobtainable desires.

Cacoethes as cravings
found me also as the obsessions
that were literally fed me as food.
Too easily was I led 
by edible longings -
but I was not feeding real hunger.
Rather – I was hungering 
to feed an empty heart.

Eventually I learned to control
my cravings for the sweet and the salty,
and old longings of infatuation
long ago fled from me.
Any void I feel today
I fill with cacoethe substitutes
mostly harmless and rarely unhealthful
as I move my pen again and again
over paper.

A New Years Wish for East the Beast and the West Unblessed

  Whether whiskey or water
    What should it matter

  The point is we oughta
    be toasting each other

  Though the East is a Beast
    and the West is unblessed …

  May we this year refrain
    from inflicting such pain 

  Turn to gentler pursuits
    find for war substitutes

Practical Magic

Forget complicated spells, 
That require obscure ingredients,
That have no safe substitutes,
When a pair of helping hands,
That can magically halve the workload,
That can massage away the meanest headache.

And a set of listening airs,
That can hear what is unsaid,
That can pick up the slightest note of harmony.

And a voice that speaks volumes,
That is low in decibels,
That speaks from the heart,
Are the only three ingredients,
That are needed to create a spell to remember,
That leaves no sticky residues,
And can be easily brought together at short notice.

Poor Substitutes

   Our playgrounds have faded
     swings stilled, sandboxes unfilled

   Where are the shovels and pails ~
     replaced by profits and sales

feel a pulse

There’s no substitute for life.

I find myself,
seduced by yearnings.

I’m flourishing here,
contemplating sin.

I’ve nothing to do
when I’ve nothing but time.

I’m reusing solitudes -
they’ve become ragged.

What’s the answer then?
Should I seal my girly heart,
engage in uncaring kisses
like it’s ‘casual friday’ -
connive brief excitements
- just to feel a pulse?

Whatsapp Forwards

Gone are days of eyeball contact
When we used to meet in person
A warm embrace and a handshake
Laughter and light conversation
Now our sanity is at stake

Inundated with messages
Good mornings and words of wisdom
Methinks people are now lazy
Having nothing better to do
I confess it drives me crazy

Blinking substitutes not thinking
Whilst expressing our heart’s emote
Or while playing a game of chess
Originality’s passe
So I guess we’ll make do with less

Recognition a Open Form

RECOGNITIONS

simple
 memoranda
of
an
appreciation
of
 the
 acknowledged
single mindedness
so
evident
in
self conscious
 realizations
& detailed
exressions
of
 understanding

eyecatching
motifs
disintegrate
elegant

vulnerable
&
numerous
sensitive
substitutes

the
influential
comment
to
illuminate
a
reposte

yet
so
inadequate

Pre-Seder Afternoon

The holiday’s at sunset
So the afternoon before
Is time for eating food
We won’t be eating anymore.

No bread or beer or pasta -
Not a bagel for a week!
I’ve been doing this since childhood,
So there’ll be no need to sneak.

It’s bizarre - I’m not religious
But tradition reigns supreme
And restricting what you eat is not
As hard as it might seem.

Of course, we use some substitutes
For cooking and to bake 
And there are lots of recipes 
For foods that we can make.

Tonight there will be matzoh balls
In soup to start our feast,
With 8 more days of special meals
Until we are released.

When Foods Were Not Called Super

When foods were not called super,
Many more had them for their supper.

When foods were not called super,
Prices were cheaper.

When foods were not called super,
Nutrition fared the better.

When foods were not called super,
Substitutes were fewer.

When foods were not called super,
Food fights in court were rarer.

When foods were not called super,
What was on the label did not tell us a whopper.
 
When foods were not called super,
It was a better time to be a shopper.

When foods were not called super,
I could afford to invite you to supper.

The Passover Section

With springtime now upon us,
If your town has lots of Jews,
The supermarket has some foods
You might have need to use.

For Passover’s approaching
And the holiday demands 
No bread nor pasta be consumed;
Thus, stores have made their plans.

A special section’s filled with
All the substitutes we need
To serve at Seder time, just like
The ancient texts decreed.

There’s matzoh meal, gefilte fish 
And macaroons and cakes
And all of the ingredients
For anyone who bakes.

This Passover array depends
On neighborhood and store,
So often pickings might be slim 
While other shops have more.

For Jewish folk with markets
With no matzoh, I’d behoove
You to tell the owners how you feel
Or do what I’d do - move!

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