I'm usually known for my silly stuff
But once in a while I surprise
Drooling all over my keyboard and yours
With mushy stuff I fantasize
At times been known to wear different hats
Contrary to what you may think
Can be sillier than the silliest damn jester
Then switch as quick as a wink
Become all gushy and mushy and stuff
Talk of flowers and eternal love
Then sure as shootin' it's back to the sillies
Giving your giggler a tug
This back and forth stuff is really quite dizzying
Imagine if I wrote about dying
Some are obsessed with negative things
If I said that was me I'd be lying
It's not for me, that tear jerky stuff
Guess my life's been too bloody happy
Sure not complaining I'm a perky old geezer
Maybe a better word is slaphappy
My poems are growing longer
When reciting I run out of puff
My lungs, once much stronger
Struggle with long-winded stuff
So, I'm writing this short refrain
To curb my penchant to ramble
I'm trying my best to abstain
From including excess preamble
I'd like to say it's a breeze
But the truth is, it isn't at all
Some writers do it with ease
I go large rather than small
So in future when penning a verse
And my lines seem a little snappy
Or appear to be overly terse . . .
Let me throw in a line overblown . . . that's no longer pared down to the bone . . . that takes on a life of its own . . . that may make you chuckle or groan . . . of a gargoyle that's carved out of stone . . . parachutes above the drop zone . . . the baddest badass since Capone . . . the last of the species alone . . . the smell of grass freshly mown . . . the melt-in-the-sun ice cream cone . . . smooth jazz from a cool saxophone . . . the wrong that you cannot condone . . . to say scon or should it be scone . . . can Canute turn the tide from his throne . . . a neverending line in a poem . . . that's more than a little slaphappy
Slaphappy monkeys swinging from trees to trees
Cartwheeling giraffes heads nodding in the breeze
Burly sea lions chasing sperm whales in the seas
A menagerie of animals dancing as they please
Bushmen collecting emporium honey bees,
Whistling cardinals chasing pretty chickadees,
Creatures playing pinnacle, cards upon their knees
Greedy gorillas wondering if their life’s carefree.
There was once a slaphappy reindeer
Who loved whisky, tequila and beer
She hitched up with a moose
When befuddled by booze
Now she’s starting a mother’s career.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Funny Reindeer Limerick Contest
Hosted & Judged by Tania Kitchin
Placed 4th
© 14th December 2018
ONE STONE
skipped by bonnie brook
he’s showing off
his perfect skill
she hardly breathes
standing still
her eyes slaphappy-splash
he handles the one stone
turns over and fondles
he’s cocky and controlled
her cheeks are piqued
green-eyed moss at her feet
she shuts her eyes and sighs, and
she personifies the prized stone
feels his breath on her polished skin
his fingers on her every inch
the careening off the cliff
from his fingertips
as her heart skips
headlong, in his wistful path
still feeling the flicking
of his wrist, the snap
of his formidable frenzy
voracious vortex
she’s out of breath
and she embraces every minute
bouncing along
the bonnie bonnie brook
11/7/2017
Two Word Challenge Contest
Sponsored by John Lawless
Go ahead climb down off of
That shelf and take a little
Rhyme for yourself
Tell tales of walking through
Fields of tall grass
Share funny stories about
Running out of gas
Write a poem or two
About something new
just take a little rhyme
For you
Be slaphappy right silly musings
About your old pappy
It's OK to start the day
With a little rhyme for yourself
Spin a cute yarn about a
Dwarf or an elf
So come on get to it
climb down from your shelf
And spend some quality rhyme
With yourself
I’m a man whose tired and worn
Empty and dead on my feet,
Petered out, played out, pooped and torn
Burn out, broke down and beat.
Drowsy, droopy, drooping drained
Dog tired, done in, done for,
Exasperated, enervated empty faint
Overtaxed, overworked and bored
Sick of, sleepy, spent and stale
Haggard, run down, all in
Consumed, collapsing, asleep, annoyed
Exhausted, bygone and barren
Ramshackle, rickety, run-down and frail
Bedraggled, broken-down and creaky
Threadbare, tottering, tired and used
Feeble, fragile and flimsy
Out of shape, out of gas, done in and feeble
Gone to seed, soft, incapacitated
Listless, washed out, weakened, on the ropes
Undermined, fatigued, prostrated.
Discontented, dissatisfied, tacky and dull
Jaded, glum and gloomy
Sick and tired, up to here, driveling, drab
Sated, down and weary
Befuddled, unsteady, wobbly and faint
Pallid, pale and lean
Stupefied, staggering, slaphappy, subdued
Oh damn I got to go pee.
I'm usually known for my silly stuff
But once in a while I surprise
Drooling all over my keyboard and yours
With mushy stuff I fantasize
It's true I sometimes wear more than one hat
Contrary to what you may think
Can be sillier than the silliest damn jester
Then switch as quick as a wink
Become all gushy and mushy and stuff
Talk of flowers and eternal love
Then sure as shootin' it's back to the sillies
Giving your giggler a shove
This back and forth stuff is really quite dizzying
Imagine if I wrote about dying
Some are obsessed with negative things
If I said that was me I'd be lying
It's not for me, that tear jerky stuff
Guess my life's been too bloody happy
Sure not complaining I'm a perky old geezer
Maybe a better word is slaphappy
© Jack Ellison 2015
AMERICAN FOOTBALL
Football fever is the billion dollar sport that rocks the land
Other sports like tennis fans complain is just too bland
Oh, but football stirs the spirit and gets the blood to pump
Think the guys are special buddies, slaphappy on the rump--
Bowl games are dreams that keep the fans all screaming as they score
And they scold a ref for wayward plays he seems to just ignore
Lusty guys will drink some beer for gusto at the game
Lucky for the players--if they lose the coach is blamed
I'm usually known for my silly stuff
But once in a while I surprise
Drooling all over my keyboard and yours
With mushy stuff I fantasize
It's true I sometimes wear more than one hat
Contrary to what you may think
Can be sillier than the silliest damn jester
Then switch as quick as a wink
Become all gushy and mushy and stuff
Talk of pretty flowers and love
Then sure as shootin' it's back to the sillies
Giving your giggler a shove
This back and forth stuff is really dizzying
Imagine if I wrote about dying
Some are obsessed with negative things
If I said that was me I'd be lying
It's not for me that tear jerky stuff
Guess my life's been too damn happy
Not complaining I'm a perky old geezer
Maybe a better word is slaphappy
© Jack Ellison 2012
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