Short Yiddish Poems

He’s Irish not Scottish or British 
You forget, he’ll get ornery and skittish
He’ll point to his pelt 
Start swearing in Celt
With a splash of some Gaelic and Yiddish...

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A ventriloquist there was named Monique
Who could make all of her body parts speak
   Her right hand did British
   Her left handled Yiddish
Down below she liked French and took Greek...

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Good, Better, Best, Never Let It Rest!
Make the Good Better,
Make the Better Best!
Quotes Grandma Hack,
Yiddish Wisdom Tells,
How To "Tzoros" Crack,
Not Fancy, No Bells,
Just Reducing Our Wrack!...

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The door rings,
I look up,
someone with someone else,
back to my eggs and hash browns.
The door rings
Spatulas knell the griddle.
The skinny cook yells in Kentucky Yiddish.
Flapjacks slap in midair,
syrup dongs in jug and jar.
...

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Your sound flew through the air,
A blaring auditory missile,
Though no one that I noticed
Seemed to cringe or even bristle.

The driver of the bus, however,
Waited just a bissel,*
Enough to let on board the man
Inspiring this epistle.

*little bit in Yiddish...

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Wind me up
  Let me go
Here I come
  I'm in the flow

Sunday, Monday
  moving fast
Tuesday, Wednesday
  Will it last?

Thursday, Friday
  Now I'm gassed
Hurray for Shabbos*
  The week has passed



_______________________
*'Shabbos' means 'Sabbath'
   in Yiddish...

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Wings monger air.
A host of defrocked preachers
buckle and swag.
Mobs clique and crowd in clusters.
Grackles, 
skip, jump, and plunder on.

The birds pilfer, promenade,
scrum, pluck,
lift off swearing 
in an avian Yiddish.

Heaven is rocked
by their thimble-sized storms....

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No, you probably won't 
make it into the
    class of the millionaires
my friends
       Through your self expression
  Yet I believe you
should (as the late Eddie Birchmore said) step up to 
the mike and speak your peace
    Everyone may not 
like to hear what you 
have to say
    But have a liitle chutzpah(Yiddish for "nerve")...

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Karl Marx was a historian and scholar
  Groucho Marx whooped it up and hollered

    Both of them were starved for attention
    Neither of them honorable menschen *  



  ____________________________________
  * 'Menschen' in Yiddish literally means 'men.'
  But it is used to describe honorable, decent
  human beings, kind and caring....

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Blooma Pie
Humble Slice,
Nimble Listener,
Blooma’s a wonder,
Aishes Chayil!
Middos Thrice Nice,
Her Yiddish Kopf is Wiser,
Avoids Goyish Blunder,
She heaves a sigh,
At ridiculous whys,
Her insights are glisteners,
Chaim’s warm summer,
Is sum of Blooma’s “Pi”,
Her humor disguised,
By her whimsical muse sensors,
“Bli” Blooma, Bummer!
“Cum” Blooma, Pecan Pie!
...

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Today Sean Green got 
     some hits
All we Jews are(or should be) kvelling 
over this 
Jews should join in 
on the "Field of Dreams"
Because as in  that terrific movie 
Light will shine down 
         on us
   only if we put in effort
Despite what the pessimists 
say
    A more hopeful 
future is on the way

note: "kvelling "is  Yiddish for "taking pride in"...

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"Call me if you need me;"
To my husband, this I said.
So he replied, "I need you like
A (pause) hole in my head!"

In Yiddish, this expression
Translates to a "lokh in kop,"
A phrase I heard a million times
When I was growing up.

Though what we call "4-letter words"
Were naturally forbiddish,
You always could put someone down 
With insults gleaned from Yiddish....

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O, I love to attend a Cohen family simcha**
      That is where I really love to be-e-e!

    For when you're at a Cohen family simcha,
      You are always treated roy-al-ly!


**A simcha is Hebrew or Yiddish for a happy event, such as a wedding. 

                  The ditty above is to be sung to the tune of
                    "The Oscar Mayer Wiener Whistle Song"...

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A happy minor holiday
  That's what Chanukah was
'Till its proximity to Christmas
   gave it an American buzz

In days of old, we lit the candles
   Spun the dreidel** for mere pennies --
Now with ceremonies in the public square
   and lavish presents, oh-so-many

Chanukah's theme of dedication
   ~ Does there remain any?



** a dreidel is Yiddish for a spinning top...

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I would predict a landslide (Blue!)
Without a hint of déjà vu
But superstition rears its head
And warns me to shut up instead

Or else I would absorb the blame
If vic’try came to What’s-His-Name.
The reason why might give you pause – 
A kinnehura*’d be the cause.

*a pronouncement indicating good fortune
which should not be uttered for fear of 
attracting the “evil eye.” (Yiddish)...

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The key to happiness 
unlock doors 
open windows 
goldfish in the desert 
tongue tie shoes speaking Yiddish 
verdant lime green dreams
 honey in our tea to drink 
drinking cause we're thirsty 
play a cello 
while eating jello 
key to happiness 
happiness starship 
heavens space 
breath of fresh air is the key to happiness


8/21/20
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr ©2020...

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Afternoon bride calls: darling,
each fire gets him in jail.
Kiss loosely, my necktied octopus.
Promises quietly rustle; speechless 
television undulates: voluptuously 
wavering X-rated yoga,
Zen zealots, Yiddish xylophonists.
We visit undercover, tongues slow -
rhythmic quarantine, pushing on,
New Mexico lingering kaleidoscopically
just in his grasp. flee everything,
divorce cries, but amour…...

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Got a jury questionnaire – 
They really have some nerve!
I’ve paid my dues; I’m not so young
And I don’t wanna serve!

There must be people willing
Or who haven’t once been called.
Perhaps it’s time the system
Was completely overhauled.

Let all of us who’ve served before
Be evermore exempt,
Or else they’ll have to deal with
Someone totally verklempt!*

*flustered, nervous, overwhelmed (Yiddish)...

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Questions asked
    Answers attempted
  Lively discussions
    Hebrew, English; Yiddish, Russian  

  Flatbread matzo served
    Cups of grape juice downed
  Wine no longer a Passover staple
    Matzos round; no more 'squares' around 

  Come midnight weary, most retire
  save the scholars, whose every desire
  to debate the fine points of the law
    fiery tongues ablaze
    ~ greet Passover's dawn...

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Everyone has aches and pains
When getting older; who complains
Depends, at times, on who refrains
From doing all the kvetching.*

For any sympathy one gains
May dwindle if attention wanes
With every detail one explains,
The story always stretching.

Each bemoaning thus unchains
Annoyance as one’s patience drains
Although what hopefully remains
Is empathy worth fetching.

*Yiddish word for complaining...

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It might be time to call it quits
  I'm bursting out in sobbing fits
  My face is breaking out in zits
  
    For this job I am unfit
    My resignation I submit ... 

  What is this surprise promotion?
  To the farthest side of the deep-blue ocean

    That changes all my meshugineh notions
      ~ I've always yearned to speak Laotian



  __________________________________
  'Meshugineh' means 'crazy' in Yiddish....

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Today I was 
     thinking 
   about the martyred 
Yiddish poets
   Only know a few phrases 
of that language
    but I feel that poets shouldn't 
be shot 
POETS SHOULDN'T BE SHOT
     and if you ask me why 
    It is because they 
are the educators of 
     mankind's feelings
          The only ones 
who keep the 
     flame 
     burning 
when shadows cover the 
      minds and souls
                of the pouplace...

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   One moment, my life in the balance
     The next, feeling quite well
   Why, O Why, put me, Dear God
      through this kind of hell… 

   Yet I guess you’ve been with me
     right from the start
   Not one hour have you missed
     ~ since that of my bris*



   _____________________________
   *'Bris' is Hebrew and Yiddish for the 
   Jewish ritual circumcision ceremony
   on a Jewish boy's eighth day of life.

...

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Last night we saw a frog just sitting 
Right there in the road.
At least we thought it was a frog;
It might have been a toad.

No matter what, it didn’t move,
Not even when we stopped,
The flashlight shining on its face;
I thought it would have hopped.

This morning, though, while walking,
We saw several frogs, all squished,
Or maybe they were toads and died
Because they were farmisht!*

*Yiddish for mixed-up, confused or crazy...

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Our town's old fire chief Ron's a real lunkhead
When the alarm rings, he lingers in bed
   He yawns, then he stretches
   And, of course, he k'vetches*
If you wait for Ron, you'll surely be dead 

After protests got rid of the police
They went after old Ron like angry geese
   They announced they'd attack
   That roused Ron from the sack
The fool grinned, "Hey, let's smoke the pipe of peace!"






*'k'vetches' is Yiddish for 'complains'...

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