Short Totaled Poems

They say President Biden's brains are fried
  Not by a longshot, Mrs. Biden cried ~
    Joe just went to Ireland
    And never got tired, man ~
  Though he couldn't recall it when he tried...

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This past week it was raining cats and dogs,
prayed about it to not get so annoyed,
one car totaled other in infirmary,
husband tomorrow having triple bypass surgery,
Meow, Arf, Splat go land some more in the bog....

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Robots reason
people think
in counterfactual oxymorons

The equal sign
ironic still
in anti-literal contradiction

A=B
B=C
but D won’t link without reflection

Zero-Sum
with nothing totaled
nondescript—the grand ligation

(Rosemont Pennsylvania: May, 2022)...

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Happy New Year!
*
I discovered on this recent New Year's Eve
how many drinks it takes in order to get me
to dance on the bar while singing karaoke.
The amount of drinks I consumed totaled three.
I drink like a girl. Happy New Year to me!
...and to all of you as well most sincerely.
 Damn, my head is killing me....

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Do you have a little time to spend
or actions that might bring the end
of tripping, totaled thoughts again?
Still crazy as I was back then,
I’ll second guess the whole way through,
I never wanted more than you.
a single breath upon my skin
would keep me coming back again.
Savior, salvage all my sin,
just lay me down and wear me thin....

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I open up my piggy bank
I bust it open with a hammer
and as I take out the change I count out...

27-pennies

fourteen dollars in quarters

35-nickles

361-pennies

Twenty dollars in dimes

took it all the bank change totaled out to be...
thirty-nine dollars and sixty-three cents


3/24/18
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr.2018©...

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A circle has no beginning and no end
An elbow has only one way to bend,
A triangle always has only three sides
No one knows where a platypus resides,
All totaled, a piano has eighty-eight keys
When you kneel, you get on your knees,
The clock ticks once for every second
Do you know the meaning of “fecund?” 

Written March 7, 2022...

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Claw Flaw

small kitty cat
had but one flaw
he couldn’t count
the missing claw

so when his claw count
totaled seven
he thought he’d
cheated “kitty heaven”

when he thought
he was just fine
he learned he’d squandered
number nine

claw counting days
now sadly done
his feathered wings
still missing one


John G.  Lawless
8/29/2014
For PD’s One Sad Poem contest...

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Coconut Cake

Sometime there’s things I like to make
But I’ll always buy a Coconut Cake
In a box so neat and square
It’s white and light and filled with air
Melts in your mouth with cup of tea
And it’s not made by Sara Lee.
I take a slice, then just one more
The next I know I’ve totaled four
I walk away, with still some left
It calls my name till I am deaf
And so I say “Oh what’s the harm?”
This coconut cake by Pepperidge Farm...

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I can’t get anything past you,
those eyes they see right through me;
Shadows tire with this high speed chase,
in the driver’s seat but I just swerve;

Those eyes they see right through me;
Butterfly emotions I can’t hide,
in the driver’s seat but I just swerve;
My love leaves me repeatedly totaled;

Butterfly emotions I can’t hide,
shadows tire with this high speed chase;
My love leaves me repeatedly totaled;
I can’t get anything past you....

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This is my story, the strangler untold.
I, Al DeSalvo strangled 13 women totaled.
I struck within the night of day,
leaving not one clue astray.
Confessing to these crimes brought me fame,
but burdened my family with unending shame.
Sitting in my prison cell,
deep inside I hide a secret only I can tell.
People everywhere still have doubt.
Is the strangler really in prison, or still roaming about?
Murdered in my prison cell,
my secret I can now never tell....

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