Short Tooting Poems

Farmer Fred went on a diet
Nancy said, “You got to try it”
Fred began to “Feel the Noize”
Tooting like the Beastie Boys
Really it was Quiet Riot...

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Long List of Presidents

Of Presidents had looked down a long list;
Reached end  and no names were missed;
Rooting then tooting,
Was always for Putin;
Declared current President a Communist.

Jim Horn...

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How I'll miss city life,
hail taxis day or night,
hazardously they drive,
hope I arrive alive,
hear all the traffic noise,
horns tooting full of scorn,
harsh looks are all around,
hang on your country bound.





2-18-17...

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A flatulent dancer named Mel
would discharge a terrible smell
She’d toot through the tango
the waltz and fandango
Her dance partner’s life was sheer hell!


Limerick Contest
Sponsored by Carolyn Devonshire

7/16/18...

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She eats her lunch while precariously balancing herself on a line
None of us clearly know why, but she tells us it keeps her feeling fine.
Several ebony crows come by cawing, hemming, tooting and hawing.
But does she fall off? Not ever, she’s a professional, Witch G. Bawing....

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I remember the grand parades
  Memorial and Independence Day
All their pomp and pageantry
  Many faded jeans ago, so far away

Our boys in uniform we'd be saluting
  For the good ole USA we'd be rooting
Now it's political rancor at barbeques
  ~ From either end we're tooting...

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There was an old driver called Thorn,
Who said, 'I’m the best ever born,' 
As he spoke of himself,
And his talents and wealth,
Despite all the faces forlorn,
He kept right on tooting his horn.

For FJ's trash-talking I Spit Fire contest

A 6-line limerick to meet the contest's minimum line requirement...

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The sun is out
In full gear
What fun
What a day
Tooting its own horn
Blaring and glaring
How absolutely divine
Delightful and delirious
Playfully parading
Elated and excited
Gorgeously giddy
Joyous and jolly
The sun’s come out to play



AP: Honorable Mention 2020

Posted on January 20, 2020...

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The quiet of the night 
The silent of the noise what a joy!
No dogs, barking!
No horns tooting!
No babies crying!
No children are screaming!
The quiet of the night.
It's really great!
Sounds of the rain as it falls.
The sound of it hitting the window pain.
It's quite so quiet I can't sleep at night.















The q...

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Little Miss Mischief stalking feathered loot
Misty movement through grass, a gray mirage
The warbling victim tooting its last toot
Her pouncing play, I must sabotage
Before she bestows another birdie in my boot!

9/ 6/18

For Nina Parmenter's "Mischief" contest

Original form, Quatrain : 4 lines of verse
My annotation: I added a 5th line-...

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the mountain snow that fell last night
melting quick in morning light
the wind blows hard and is so cold
desert winters like this we know

another Christmas put away
empty boxes left at bay
another New Year rolls around
with Champagne pops and tooting sounds

what's in store for me next year
I hope all good with nothing to fear
what comes to me I know I'll handle
if I have to light a prayer candle...

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I carry a spring deep within my pocket 
once a child's toy

I hold it close and reminisce on his warmth 
a warmth now long gone 

A smile appears as I hear the laughter
permeate my mind

and remember the electric train tooting
and crashing down the line

For a junkyard there had to be, a pile,
wreckage, beside the line

he is gone now - away
a memory today
and I carry his spring in my pocket and smile...

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That was a honey of a ham dinner
All that salt won’t make you thinner
Smear on the raisin sauce
Don’t forget the salad that you toss.

Cut and boil up some string beans
Never bake them by any means
Boston bake beans goes in a crock pot
but you’ll be tooting quite a lot. 

The ham needs some clove for added taste
But don’t add salt, it’s not good for our waist
Your wife cooked this meal and added a lamb
Never tell her she’s a honey of a ham...

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There isn’t a road that shan’t have music
So, my fiddle is played with skipping
The musical notes surround my steps
There's celebration in dancing
A rhytmaical mode of partaking
Down the untravelled paths, singing and playing
Everywhere, and all places ventured
Tooting a rhythmic razzle-dazzle
And this is the best way travelled
By night listen to the rhythm and blues
Sleeping under stars and The Moon


Razzle-Dazzle ©8/12/15 Bonnie Jennings...

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This old lady feels 
like a broken down car
Many miles on her feet
Joints need oiled, 
so they can move
A new censor
her memory is failing 
Has to have a spark plug
to keep her heart ticking smoothly
Her bones are as brittle
as the wiring gets at times
Eyes are getting dim
like the headlights do
Only thing not needed is the horn
she keeps on a tooting
Overall, she just needs 
totally restored.
© Melanie . All rights reserved, 12 hours ago...

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So much there that can be so pleasing,
even if it's backwater teasing
but who claimed life was a gas to enjoy
easy squezzy with every toy
when did the alarm sound to slow us down
easy does it say's the crowd
don't wanna miss the next go 'round
entertainment leaps 'n bounds
shiny brass in tooting form
skinned-topped bucket rolling norms
booted sassy short skirt screamers
make us all believin' dreamers

 easy does it,easy squezzy
just give me somethin' plenty pleasin'.......

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