Short Son Of A Gun Poems

Back in the day we used to play
Spin the bottle both night and day
You know it was fun
but son of a gun
Why did you put that game away?...

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Well, I'll be a son of a gun!
Our Filing Clerk is having fun!
She stopped her chores
And dropped her drawers
Who knew the Accountant could run?...

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A lass with a penchant to please
Spends much of the time on her knees
But, son of a gun,
She finds it grand fun
To see a lad shooting the breeze...

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Got a chance to look at the dark sun,
said to myself, "Oh, son-of-a-gun,"
while the glasses worked well
I heard shouts, "What the hell"...
a drunk woman threw-up on the fun!...

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There once was a brave son of a gun
Who would pull his own trigger for fun
   He saw a school shooter
   Whom he shot and neutered --
That brave son's gun sure got the job done!...

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If you were born a son of a gun
Life for you would not be fun
Because you'll never know your Dad
Or who was he if you had?
He could have been anyone.
You poor bastard Son of a Gun!...

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Trump and Another Tweet

Trump has sent us out  another tweet,
Saying that we soon will suffer defeat;
Turned TV on,
And son of a gun,
We heard about it from Ari on his beat.

Jim Horn...

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In a frontier town of Oregon
lives a rascally son of a gun.
He’s taking on louses
that beat up their spouses.
I can hardly believe that’s my son!


For Carolyn Devonshire's Contest:
Lawyer Limericks...

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At the country club a sight for sore eyes
Brunch with the bunch and giraffic surprise
Two tall orders, son of a gun
It surely beat the hole-in-one!
Anticipating sharing a slurped prize

...

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May your house be free of dragons
May the sunshine follow you
May you someday find the very special kind 
Of love that comes to just a few

May your house be free of dragons
May you find your cup of tea,
And number one son of a son of a gun,
May the one you find be me....

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 There once was an old man from Thomaston
Who was lying, cheating son-of-a-gun
Out in public on the square
Nailed was he in open air
Still dodging bullets as swiftly runs


Sponsor: Black-Eyed Susan
Contest: Nailed Or Failed
Theme chosen: Nailed

Click on about this poem...

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Tribute to our limerick humorist, Tom Cunningham.
This poem written as response to his poem: WINTER’S END HUMOR

DEFAMATION OF CHARACTERS AT WINTER’S END

This Tom is a son of a gun, “Oh shoot!”
Exclamation blunt as this poet coot
Defames one more fellow,
With ink makes him bellow.
Another slipknot, “Oh shoot!”

2/26/2020...

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When I let one loose in the elevator 
I felt like a fart battling, a mitigator  
he said, "you couldn't hold it until later?" 
I said, "it just ran away, what a traitor!"  

when I got to my desk, I fanned it out  
while all the workers changed their rout    
I cried " son of a gun I got bum gout!" 
and suddenly, they all began to shout.


July 31, 2021...

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Even Honest Abe Lincoln admitted himself that he wasn't all that pretty,

   But you'll be hard-pressed to find a president who was more witty!

      During debates, Stephen Douglas called him a two-faced son-of-a-gun.

         Lincoln replied, "If I had another face, do you think I would wear this one?"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved...

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im a quickthinking hardheaded son of a gun 
i sleep in the day and worship the night
carpe dium has nothing on carpe noctum
im the reason you cant sleep 
im the one who'll make you weep
im a manic depressant
dont tell me to be happy
im bipolar and overemotional
im unorganised and lazy 
i tear up my cloths 
i take to long getting ready
i smile when im in pain 
and laugh when i want to cry...

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Keith! (You ole' son of-a-gun)
That Kenmore sure gets the job done
Still keepin' our drawers mighty clean
Thanks a LOAD for the washing machine!

Keith! (You ole' son-of-a-Dick)
Go find your sister real quick
She'll kiss you right square on the jaw
Merry Christmas! (Your brother-in-law)

***During lean times a few years back...Presented to my bro-in-law at his annual Christmas 
party (My father-in law's name was Dick)...

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 You were an untamed class clown until you bought me a Double-double 
You were a thief that stole my desire on fire in my heart of broken apart rubble 
You gave me subtle trouble from the beginning of my existence
You went on with your lazy-busy life that slits like a jagged knife and moved forward in rebellious ignorance 

Slow down, wild child
Let's mellow down real mild
Let's be a zealous sun,
Not a jealous son of a gun ...

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