Short Santas Poems

Santa’s loaded sleigh,
Streaking past the Christmas moon;
Dodges bats and drones.

...

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Santa’s new “iPhone”, 
Filled with Christmas gift orders;
Oops, it won’t work now!
...

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Santa’s Clydesdale brigade
helps him bring snow and presents
to the good, the bad and the ugly
Stand down reindeer!...

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Santa’s elf pulled a quick prank
On Mrs. Claus, he didn’t think
He took her hot pie
And hid it up high
She found it, then gave him a spank...

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once an old cabbie named fred

had a nose that glowed bright red

then a call from a bar

put an elf in his car

and since has lead santas sled....

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Santa’s sleigh went out of control
Now he’s not gonna meet his goal
To deliver the toys
To the girls and boys
He tried to order one from the north pole...

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Seven saints sent seven santas singing seven songs since
saving seven sinners seven souls. Seven spirits swam seven seas.



*For tongue twisters contest....

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Duckbilled platypus and koalas lead the way
Showed kangaroos and joeys Santa’s bag today
Santa showed up with a nosey kookaburra then
wanting a warm Aussie beach to plunge in...

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I waited For Santa, I stayed up all night
I then saw the fat man, no undies in sight.
A bag he had hanging, t’was big red and bright
Ah yes I saw Santa, he swings left to right ....

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When Santa was a boy
No bigger than an elf
He was in the workshop
Making toys himself
But he has no time now
For making his own toys
Because he’s out delivering
To all the girls and boys...

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snow frost on windows
aware of santas footprints
hearing the sleigh bells

cinnamon cookies
sneaking licks of sweet icing
carolers voices

everyone fancy
hugging favorite cousins
feast on the table...

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Santa got fired and also got fixed.
Too many little Santas running around because of his tricks.
  Santa liked the women!
  Too many little guys were swimmin'  ;)
Now we all know how Santa got his kicks!!!!...

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Hoof and sleigh tracks, in the snow; The telltale signs of Santa’s visit.
Presents beneath a brightly lit tree; jingling bells in the distance.
There’s nothing like, waking up on Christmas morning.
...

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Elves were on strike, it was Santas worst fear
Sick of long, late hours and forced Christmas cheer
Sick of being on shelves
What to give to these elves
When they only work one month in the year....


Dec 2, 2022...

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Santa Claus came into town,
Riding ruby red techno-
digital sleigh complete with
iPad, iPhone too.

His reindeer flying beside
Him for effect, they refused 
to retire and kids do love 
to hear hooves on rooves.

...

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Santa came home with a reindeer
And Mrs Claus said with a sneer
‘Did you have to bring
That horny old thing?’
Rudolph said, ‘Madam, he lives here.’




13 December 2021
For: I Need A Good Laugh: Xmas Limerick Contest
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich...

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As I lay asleep
I heard a noise on my roof
Could it be
Absolutely impossible
I was definately too old to believe
Now my kids left milk and cookies for santa
Well as i made my way out of bed to see 
wat suprise awaited for me 
but santas suprise was the alarm was on 
and it went off the police came in five mins
OOPs Santas was naughty...

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Santa Claus is like a Circus Clown
Plus all his Elfs wear a frown
I would rather he be like Krusty 
As he is more trusty 
Bart and Homer
Marge and Lisa
Maggie and Santas Little Helper

What a Family Guy that is
To give us all a Christmas kiss
Simpsons though it is for me 
During this nativity
As they are like family

Best
DAMO...

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Yards have lost their Santas.
			Yuletide glow is fading.
			You change calendars and
			yield two thousand sixteen.
			Young ones hear repeats of
			yarns their elders tell, till—
			YAWN! Happy New Year, all! 



written for, and entered in, Andrea Dietrich's Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Pleiades Contest on December 20, 2016...

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santas on the thunderbox (aussie toilet)
whats that thunder falling rocks?
wash your feet and bloody socks!
no blurting in your under jocks :)
brains near gone
with my depression
pop a zolof my obsession...Don Johnson

Saw a cartoon recently of a two story outhouse/thunderbox....the top floor was 4 polititans 
and the bottom floor was for voters...

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A divine crown was born in a simple stable;
As a fond blessing for all earthlings.
He did not yearn for a royal label;
But enlightened all people with his wise sayings.

He will direct our lives in the right paths;
Just like the star which directed the three kings towards his manger.
The Lord wants us to be Santas of kindness, joy and helpfulness; 
Just like how he is the Santa of our lives!...

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badger Santa was the head of the Winter Mafia
godfather of the forest in non-Santa town
animals came to kiss the ring
asked for favors
he was the boss
they brought offerings
hoping it would be enough
badger Santa ran for president
he had the worst character traits
but the animals were afraid to not vote for him
afraid of repercussions
history perpetually repeats itself, said the historians...

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Christmas reimagined by who…
not Horton nor Whoville
but Doctor Who

A bride vanished from altar
Her reception,
hopped up with Santas and a tree

Ornaments’ revolving, lifting,
evolving into bombs

Jitters, not the groom or bride

A network web
of complexity below
the complex

Racnoss wrapping
sweet gifts

not at all nice

10/29/2022

*For those not familiar, Racnoss are Arachnids...

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Christmas is in the air,
Santa is getting prepared,
Trying to fit into last years suit feels weird,
A little more weight that's what I feared,
Trying to get into his pants he tore the rear,
Getting into his jacket,rip,rip,arms tear,
Exposing Santa tall white hair,
Ho,ho,ho,I am not scared,
Snapping his fingers,Rudolph appears,
I have the best tailor in this hemisphere,
Hi,ho,away,I'm off to fix my gears,,,...

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Santa’s Pride
Santa Claus went out for a walk one day
And caught his misses rolling in the hay
His heart exploded
They'd been devoted
Then he saw her leading Rudolph away.

Mrs Claus waved with a smile a mile wide
The poor woman had got nothing to hide
Rudolph had been sick
His nose had an itch
Santa had to disguise wound to his pride.

1st December 2022...

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