Short Pliers Poems

my tooth has made me mad today
I took some pliers to it
madder now...

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when God said they were deniers
He plucked out souls with pliers
calling them liars...

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Give me some pliers so I can pull out my tooth.
I want it gone now.
Dentist?
No thank you.
They always hurt me.
If you can’t find the pliers, bring me a power drill....

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There lives a pro elegant man of wires
His actions are carried out with pliers
HIS gratis keeps all trouble
Cables turn red, peace double
The electric young man of wires!...

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     pliers… scalpel… knife… 

       drat… I feel the pulse of life… 

          if not for my wife… 



     _______________________
      MILs = Mothers-in-Law
...

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There was once an old cowpoke named Myers

   So bow-legged he looked like a pliers

      In order to straddle

         Himself in the saddle

            He needed block and tackle suppliers...

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I'd got out the hammer, the hatchet and pliers
To attack the package of plastic and wires.
     But the fix was so tricky,
     The stickum so sticky,
I'd not even scratched it when I set it on fire!...

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Back slash, back slash, speed of light
Still my printer will not write.
Unplug, reboot, check the wires,
Now I need those tiny pliers.
Twist, turn, smash the keys,
Make it work, dear God please!
If-then, control alt delete, 
Where oh where is the receipt?...

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There once was a lanky cowpoke named Pete,

Who, when he walked got tangled in his feet!

He'd spent years ridin' his horse,

Becomin' bow-legged, of course!

Looked like a pair of pliers pacin' the street!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
All Rights Reserved...

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junk drawer clean-up is scheduled today
tape
ribbons
rubber bands
pencils
pens
rulers
small notebooks
matches
candles
bungee cords
dog collar
flashlight
wrench
pliers
scissors
maple syrup packets
I need all of these things I think
as I shut the drawer....

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If Covid were a person
With persona to dishonor
Where would I begin?
Given a burdizzo, pliers, and crashers
Gadgets in horror fora
Where could I begin?
With an energy drink
Oh, I will not blink
Where should I begin? 
So morbid Covid
Will never fire again
Where shall I begin?...

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I 
Am 
The wire
That permits
The electrons flow
To light darkness caressing world.  

Wems
Holds 
Pliers
To tighten 
While connecting each. 
Just enjoy the lasting spark free... 

Light
That 
Spares fear  
Lightening 
The nooks and cranny 
In your beautiful home of peace...

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There was once an old cowpoke named Meyers

   For decades he'd rode an old hoss named Squires

      He'd roped steers and fixed fences

         Enjoyed beer and square dances

           And was bowlegged as a pair of pliers

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved...

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Andy's guided a train
  Flown a small plane
Steered the wheel of a ship
  Spurred a horse with a whip

Maneuvered a 64-foot truck
   Kayaked in a typhoon
Won a motorcycle race
   Landed perfectly on the moon

Then Andy went on a date
  Pop, Pop -- two flat tires
Said, 'I'm not much with my hands'
  Asked his date, 'Can you use these pliers?'...

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the multifariousness of my junk drawer
holds secrets, stories, gadgets, humor, and much more
bungee cords, cameras, pliers, tape and string
a rubber chicken leg, buzzer bell with an ominous ring
hard cinnamon roll, which fell in yesterday
blue yoyo, ketchup packet, a tiny nosegay
such a variety of goodies I have to admit
if my mother saw it, she would have a fit....

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Childhood Memory-Making Sand




Playing in a yard filled with dirt and rocks

It’s not the best place to wear flip flops

Being creative, we found some screened-wire

No need for a hammer, screw-driver, or pliers

Only needed tools were wire and hands

Sift the dirt and rocks through

In the end, there is only sand




						Adrienne LaCont’e 
Gresham...

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The Plumber

By Elton Camp

When the pipes under sink began to leak,
Help of Big Bubba’s Plumbing I did seek
Bubba promised he’d be there right away
And he showed up later that very same day

He said, “Big Bubba is here your pipes to fix.
I brought the tools to help me do the tricks.”
Wrenches, pliers, solder—nothing did he lack
But, so sad to say, he also had plumber’s crack...

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A needle nose pliers, polished like glass, damp
with tears and sweat, but not from rote plumbing leaks,
needed a good buffing at the Dust Rag Camp.
It slow-waltzed across the street where no one speaks    
and mimed a tale of woe beneath a dusty lamp
intently viewed by neglected toolbox freaks.
One grand gesture of support from each to all
gratitude like oil oozed to soothe the gall.
...

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A power plant or a powder room? Your choice
Crap!
One of those dreams again.
I had already had one of these last Thursday.
Isn’t there a limit or something?

I knew if I chose the wrong one 
I could end up boiled in strawberry Jell-O
or 
my teeth could be pulled out by rusty pliers.
I choose planetarium, I said smartly.
Found myself trampled by a swarthy buffalo a few seconds later....

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sew beads on your lips
add crystals so your eyes
won't make
don't use a silver wire, 
bronze looks better around
tie that bow shape
into one straight grim
you can express yourself
in quiet,
clandestine grip
tighten everything shut
use a clear polish
to coat, to avoid rusting that
cheap
facade
I recommend a round-nose pliers
to clasp
it all together,
Keep that firm
and pretty
let the stones dangle in the middle
of war....

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My grandpa has a tool bench 
With gadgets, tools and such
Shiny metal objects
And things I cannot touch

Lots of different wrenches
Hammers, saws and pliers
Putty knives and levels
Scissors, rope and wires

Many rows of little jars
Filled with nails and screws
Each one labeled perfectly
In case you need to choose

He says someday he’ll teach me
How to handle all this stuff
But right now I can only look
Until I’m tall enough....

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I am plagued with this curse
it is like physical spite
I feel it in my soul 
and the resedue 
comes dripping out my eyes
I wish I could grip this feeling
and tear it out with my magical
pliers. But than these feelings
that I have for you would die
and I do not won't that either. 
This pain I welcome it
because what most people don't get
is that I see you in my dreams. 
Like a never ending freddie movie
when I'm around you I come apart
at the seams....

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Time to clean my shop,
Work will never stop.
Tools need to be put away.
Sawdust needs sweeping,
Cobwebs are creeping,
My soul is in disarray.

A pair of pliers,
Some speaker wires
Hang them up on the pegboard.
A set of drill bits,
Is giving me fits,
Problems can not be ignored.

If I’m feeling lost,
It’s too high a cost,
So cleanliness I’ll extol.
Then son of a pup
I’ll build myself up,
In my shop I’m in control.


ALOUTTE YOUR CLEANSING RITE
By Tony Lane...

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Get that tooth out! My husband said.
He’s a wussy; yank it from his head!
The grandchild was shrieking; his name is Jack.
I could not do it, so I held myself back.

My husband came at with him pliers now.
Oh, sure that will work; the kid had a cow!
The tooth fairy is in no hurry I said to my man.
Back off; you are scaring him. Go eat some bran.

The tooth faerie came by and said, “Come on Frank!’
She was a grouchy, weird crank.
She took out her pliers and gave it a yank....

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