Short Penile Poems

Once seduced by his junior coworkers
Old man took his dates to the lockers
They used penile tweezers 
And shagged like young weasels
Too bad he forgot beta-blockers...

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An embarrassing penile occurrence
Led Johnny to want some assurance
          So Viagra he took
          Then he gave it a look
And said, "Yeah, now I've got endurance."...

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There once was a travelling sage

Who yet lived to a very old age.

      Well becoming quite senile,

      With problems (yes penile),

The reader may choose:

1) He kept his packed trunk in a cage.

or

2) He packed his wee trunk in a rage....

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Maverick
- man
Legs
- long
Skirts
- sexy
Knickers
- knot
Manners
- misplaced
Breast
- Blossom
Breathe
- bare
Nipple
- Nudge
Heart
- huge
Loins
- looney 
Fingers
- Fraught
Penile
- Pulse
Testicle
- Trouble
Horny
- Hornet
Penis
- Propeller...

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.

         I did not say penile 

              I said pineal 

 When you planted me in that
                  pillory
     that God forsaken state
I could not get a night of sleep 

    That is why I hopped on 
              her pillion

      to get a pillows grace...

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  One is over-senile
    the other over-penile

  One opens our borders
    the other issues loyalty orders  

  Our execrable Presidential candidates
    presage a once-great country’s fate

  Two utter buffoons America rushes to nominate
    ~ I think on my ballot I’ll regurgitate
...

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Throughout my marriage I struggled with a horrible ailment,
Penile Sexual Erectile Dysfunction,
and because of my chronic impotency,
my ex wife filed the papers and divorced me.
My divorce it turns out was the cure for me,
because I'm now always ready for moments of intimacy.
Fewer single guys ever struggle with impotency,
as opposed to all of those who are so called happily married....

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Hot raptor breath
Push goosebumps to life
On the golden-honey flesh
Of a most desired sight.

Deeply tanned and rubenesque,
Unsheathed, scented shoulders.
Arms that distill without cause to beckon
The wills of the penile-brained knights.

Wallow in her moist pink flower.
Defend with your armor that nymphet tower.
But beware, Dear Sir, should your eye slip up
Two orbs of Venus power....

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Svetlana appeared on my computer today
She’s so pretty, it can’t be denied
But I'm happily married for 26 years
So I don’t need an Internet bride!

Oh crikey an email advert has just popped up
It’s one that I’m embarrased to mention
But I’m female (I’ve checked) and I’m certain 
That I don’t need a penile extension!

A some what tongue in cheek poem 

05~22~17...

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