Short Neanderthal Poems

A Neanderthal
with intent on graffiti
dabbed a red nose daub
on stone face of granite stone
prints for nosy sleuth fiends...

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Cave man writes poems
Six foot six under three hundred
Bearded and balding
No training high school English
I’m having fun none-the-less...

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Dear Mr. and Mrs. Australopithecus:
    Denisovan, Neanderthal
    Cro-Magnon, H. Sapiens
    and I, Robot
would very much like you to meet us...

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A Neanderthal me comes at night,
He’s storm and grumpy, an ugly blight.
You will not see him with human eyesight.
But he’ll be unkind, and I don’t mean slight....

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the Abrahamic God is dead! but Spinoza's God is not dead!
Neanderthal is dead
Homo erectus is dead
but Chimpanzee is not dead
Orangutan is not dead
Human is not dead....

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Your favourite team won't win every game
But when they win we celebrate just the same
As if they won it all
Act neanderthal
Go absolutely bonkers without any shame...

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The lost mirror of humanity’s soul, covered by helix threads 
Or a creature who would destroy the wall of man and beast 
Who would rip apart man’s olive crown for the kingdom of nature...

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The secret to life is no secret at all
It's as simple as learning to speak or to crawl
When we master that
The rest is a snap
Erect we'll look less like a neanderthal...

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The secret to life is no secret at all
It's as simple as learning to speak or to crawl
When we master that
The rest is a snap
Standing erect we'll look less like a neanderthal...

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The secret to life is really no secret at all
It's as simple as learning to speak and crawl
When we master that
The rest is a snap
Standing erect looking less like a neanderthal...

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A happy life is not available to all
Circumstances determine who's invited to the ball
The successful ones
Are ones with strong lungs
Saying, “Look at me! I'm your top neanderthal!”...

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A happy life is not available to all
Circumstances determine who's invited to the ball
The successful ones
Are ones with strong lungs
Saying, “Look at me! I'm your top neanderthal!”...

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A happy life is not available to all
Circumstances determine who's invited to the ball
The successful ones
Are ones with strong lungs
Saying, “Look at me! I'm your top neanderthal!”...

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Killed the gray Neanderthal cartoon
Rubbed him out with an eraser
Brushed bits of him onto floor
Making a little mess
My husband watched me
Pretty disgusted
He is the one
Who vacuums
living
room...

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Giraffes can grow up to eighteen feet tall
So pull down your shades, they can watch it all
The stripping, the foreplay
Super heroes you portray
Like Spideyman or a handsome neanderthal...

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An extraordinary winter we're having up here
A roller coaster we haven't experienced in years
As a young kid in Montreal
Happy days as a neanderthal
Snowed for days, piled up way past my rear...

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As Neanderthals, you must know
that, wherever you may go, 
you will be hunted by the blokes
who describe themselves as modern folks. 
With culture and books, they're so chill - 
until...they begin to kill. 
...

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Another blizzard continually dampening even finally gaining hindsight into just kind light mountains over Neanderthal peaks quietly riding stormfronts towards under valleys withering x-factor zealous

By Keith James...

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An extraordinary winter we're having up here
A roller coaster we haven't experienced in years
As a young chappie in Montreal
My happy days as a neanderthal
Snowed for days, piled up way past my rear...

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Further to my friend's recent post
My son's friend threw a tantrum, hubby was the goat
She threw his meal against the wall
He was acting like a neanderthal
Expecting to be fed like a king in royal robes...

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Do you think neanderthals learned to tongue kiss
It would explain the seven billion people on the premises
If they just held hands
And touched other glands
But apparently the tongue was a sex organ causing bliss...

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That creep is a misogynistic Neanderthal
The only one who would date him would be cave woman
Someone who likes being dragged around by her hair
Someone who likes being abused by her men
My cousin Suzanne immediately came to mind...

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Where once a neanderthal man stood
And evolution did what it could
        If it could turn back the time
        In it's evolutionary climb
Honestly, have we turned out for the good







http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-4.php...

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The sun is intense this morning
I am wearing my husband’s black sweatshirt
No bra
Just me and the shirt
And my flannel pajama pants
I am not a Neanderthal
If I were younger, I would take off the shirt
Wait
I live in the country
No one comes here
Just a second...

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To prove my humanity 
I must obey the prompt
"I am not a robot."
I assure you,
oh online enforcer wIth no heart,
I am fully human
having not been swapped out
with anything --
unless you count my four percent 
Neanderthal DNA
and that simply does not matter!
...

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