Short Neanderthal Poems

Cave man writes poems
Six foot six under three hundred
Bearded and balding
No training high school English
I’m having fun none-the-less...

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Dear Mr. and Mrs. Australopithecus:
    Denisovan, Neanderthal
    Cro-Magnon, H. Sapiens
    and I, Robot
would very much like you to meet us...

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A Neanderthal me comes at night,
He’s storm and grumpy, an ugly blight.
You will not see him with human eyesight.
But he’ll be unkind, and I don’t mean slight.

...

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the Abrahamic God is dead! but Spinoza's God is not dead!
Neanderthal is dead
Homo erectus is dead
but Chimpanzee is not dead
Orangutan is not dead
Human is not dead....

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Your favourite team won't win every game
But when they win we celebrate just the same
As if they won it all
Act neanderthal
Go absolutely bonkers without any shame




...

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The secret to life is no secret at all
It's as simple as learning to speak or to crawl
When we master that
The rest is a snap
Erect we'll look less like a neanderthal




...

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Killed the gray Neanderthal cartoon
Rubbed him out with an eraser
Brushed bits of him onto floor
Making a little mess
My husband watched me
Pretty disgusted
He is the one
Who vacuums
living
room
...

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The secret to life is no secret at all
It's as simple as learning to speak or to crawl
When we master that
The rest is a snap
Standing erect we'll look less like a neanderthal




...

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The secret to life is really no secret at all
It's as simple as learning to speak and crawl
When we master that
The rest is a snap
Standing erect looking less like a neanderthal




...

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A happy life is not available to all
Circumstances determine who's invited to the ball
The successful ones
Are ones with strong lungs
Saying, “Look at me! I'm your top neanderthal!”




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A happy life is not available to all
Circumstances determine who's invited to the ball
The successful ones
Are ones with strong lungs
Saying, “Look at me! I'm your top neanderthal!”




...

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A happy life is not available to all
Circumstances determine who's invited to the ball
The successful ones
Are ones with strong lungs
Saying, “Look at me! I'm your top neanderthal!”




...

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Another blizzard continually dampening even finally gaining hindsight into just kind light mountains over Neanderthal peaks quietly riding stormfronts towards under valleys withering x-factor zealous

By Keith James...

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Giraffes can grow up to eighteen feet tall
So pull down your shades, they can watch it all
The stripping, the foreplay
Super heroes you portray
Like Spideyman or a handsome neanderthal




...

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An extraordinary winter we're having up here
A roller coaster we haven't experienced in years
As a young kid in Montreal
Happy days as a neanderthal
Snowed for days, piled up way past my rear





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An extraordinary winter we're having up here
A roller coaster we haven't experienced in years
As a young chappie in Montreal
My happy days as a neanderthal
Snowed for days, piled up way past my rear




...

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Further to my friend's recent post
My son's friend threw a tantrum, hubby was the goat
She threw his meal against the wall
He was acting like a neanderthal
Expecting to be fed like a king in royal robes




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Do you think neanderthals learned to tongue kiss
It would explain the seven billion people on the premises
If they just held hands
And touched other glands
But apparently the tongue was a sex organ causing bliss




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Where once a neanderthal man stood
And evolution did what it could
        If it could turn back the time
        In it's evolutionary climb
Honestly, have we turned out for the good







http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/humour-4.php








...

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Limerick: Once Lucy met Heidelberg Man

   for Nelson Mandela

Once Lucy met Heidelberg Man
Then Neanderthal and Peking Man
Tortoise said to the Turtle:
“Where’s your doggone girdle!”
“What a disgrace to my race,” said Bushman!

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
...

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Insane
I turn around
an amputee

to live, for not living
fighting the inner war
speared,
lacerated,
like neanderthal in cave

my weapon
the serrated moon
cried in fluted dark

a glimpse of bare bones
the ash of a bleeding dawn
my shuttered courage
in urn
there was only one evening



SATISH VERMA
...

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Insane
I turn around
an amputee

to live, for not living
fighting the inner war
speared,
lacerated,
like neanderthal in cave

my weapon
the serrated moon
cried in fluted dark

a glimpse of bare bones
the ash of a bleeding dawn
my shuttered courage
in urn
there was only one evening



SATISH VERMA

...

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You have elegance
Poise and grace
A certain sophistication
And what was once called “it”
You have beauty
And sex appeal
You know what you’ve got
And how to use it 
You have style
And fashion sense
You know what goes
And what does not
So answer me this
Why do you choose?
As your date
A tattooed Neanderthal
...

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Culture, a vulture
Martyrs feed greed
Oil stained blood
Program a new seed
Coffins, casualties
The media loves to see
People die for county
Is there any need
 To breed a bigot creed
Put another embassy
Across the sea
In there holy tree
Hang a fantasy
Color the enemy
Skin shades of brutality
Disguised as hope
Ending of humanity
...

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N - Not usually spotted in the western hemisphere
E - Extinct in Canada
A- Almost always
N- Nervous around humans
D- Disappears in deep underbrush when sensed
E -Enthusiastic about privacy and un-birthday parties
R-Rarely seen in cities
T-Typically shy
H-Hair grows faster than a grizzly
A-Appetite for green plants
L-Loves not being the center of attention

...

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