Short Lager Poems

the happiest moments in my life
occur when i drink
sit at one of the good bars
sip on that serengeti lager
the beer i love so much!!...

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There once was a man who had swagger
When he drank seven pints of lager
He said "may I have this dance?"
Didn't know he'd peed his pants
So, home on his own he did stagger...

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Went for a hair cut at the local barber
He must have misunderstood probably into the lager
Not just one hair
He cut EVERY hair
So I called him a bozo as I made my departure...

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Went for a "HAIR CUT" at the local barber
Must have misunderstood probably into the lager
He cut “ALL” my hair
Not just "ONE" up there
Called him a bozo as I made my departure...

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Went for a hair cut at the local barber
Must have misunderstood probably into the lager
He cut “ALL” my hair
Not just one up there
So I called him a bozo as I made my departure...

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Went for a "hair cut" at the local barber
He didn't understand, think he was into the lager
He cut ALL my hair
Not just one up there
So I called him a bozo and made my departure...

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Is Tanka a poem 

We the classless
seek no revolution only fairness
we like quality 
a well-balanced diet
and cold German lager.
The stinking rich
one assumes they do not bath
can continue to pong 
we seek no egalitarianism
only German lager....

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every morning
step by slow step
he walks to the convenience store
two rolls and half a pint of milk
for breakfast
and two cans of lager
that is all of his hunger for life
which has remained
he calls it routine 
and continues to wait
for nothing...

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They say beer is an enemy of man...
      I drink and taste Ales, Lager, Pilsen well
      there are splendid things in this world...
       I imagine that whoever runs away
        from this type of enemy,
       doesn't realize what it's being able 
         to have friends!...

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ADVERTISEMENT

It’s Regal Lager
Anyway you look at it
Forwards or backwards

Just grab a hot dog
Slop some mustard on it
Relish if proffered

Take a squishy bite
Then wash it round with Regal
Soak it up with chips

Grab another dog
Another beer    it’s summer
Forget the paunch    the hips...

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Tanka like

We the classless
seek no revolution, only fairness.
We like quality
a well- balanced diet
And cold German pilsner.
The stinking rich,
one assumes they do not have bath often,
can continue to pong.
We seek no egalitarianism
but cold German lager
and a comma -less life....

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He walks into the bar 
Like a movie star

With swagger 
Out pouring the lager

Topped by a mop 
Of such mythical proportion

It hushes the crowd 
With its absorption

More adorn
Than a unicorn

Waving a pompadour 
As big as a brontosaur




9/3/2019

Swagger Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Line Gauthier...

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Fred wanted a St. Patty's green beer
And ventured out for miles on his old steer
Found a wild biker bar
Ended up with a scar
When he refused a brown lager, oh dear

2/21/2021 (edited 2/23/21)
(Syllable counts 10 10 6 6 10, checked on PS.)
Contest: Limerick's in honor of St. Patrick's Day Poetry contest.

Sponsor: L. Milton Hankins...

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She was like Bordeaux,
a tall drink of spirit
He was more a hopped
pale lager like Pilsner, 
both gorgeous and
super gingered flavors,
although clashing mid
respective savored aplomb,
one so refined the other
rowdy after hours,
yet they complimented
each other in the way
they blended their
drunken demeanors, 
intoxicated by mere
existence of nature's
essential complexities...

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Circle to circle friends to the size of the friends circles schools to family village to nations extend them to International forums bigger the number lager the circles in a circle big not all are friends of them a lot of spies posing as friends spies are threats in the long friendship of thread they are enemies in the circle of friends they are not friends but waiting for an end to exit getting their things done....

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Ha, ha! Fooled you. … This one's about a fish.
Well, ... almost, ... not really ... It's about a whale ...

They say a whale's a mammal; if so, I'm a fish
Then again, we Mr. Limpets should take care what we wish

Here's a fact: Cape Cod-type whale watches usually fail
While onlookers consume an ocean of lager and ale

So, remember when speaking of a neo-mammal like a whale
The larger the creature, the longer its tale...

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I woke up this mornin'
I woke up 'bout ten to three
I woke up scared to death
'Least I woke up in Tennessee 
I left my house to get a lager
I left my house so I could think
Told my wife "I'm just gettin' water"
But we both know what I really needs'a drink
Just a few days until' I'm a father
And my thoughts are gettin' heavy enough to sink
I need a safe place to raise my daughter
And Angels need a place to spread their wings...

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A player whose name rhymes with Clooney
Got drunk and then drove - what a loony
Spent the night locked in jail
When released he looked pale
The outlook for him may be gloomy

He’ll get whacked with an enormous fine
But his club won't force him to resign
It would make much more sense
losing his road licence
and he stops drinking lager and wine!

Yesterday UK footballer Wayne Rooney got stopped for drink driving

09-02-17...

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Lazy, long, leisurely lunch,
    Lolling, laughing, lingering,
     O'er lamb-stew, linguini 'n lager.

   In Louisville, Los Angeles, Las Vegas,
    London, Lisbon, or Lyon;
     At Los Olivos, Las Palmas, La Paloma,
      La Scala, La Baguette, or La Castilla:

   Let lunch lie palatially on your palate,
    Let lunch slowly settle in your limbs,
     Let lunch last always:
      Let it lustrate and luminate
       Life lived long and lived well....

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We drove home on that Sunday. The summer I was twelve
it was hot, windows down
instructing me about freedom,
liberties, rights, never considered self. 
A lager fixed firmly between your legs
as you drummed the steering wheel
in unison to oldies from the radio.
It was a 66' Ford pickup, green with the smell
of pride that hung from the rear view
swinging to the road. I remember 
it was like a personality that was assigned 
to you, which is not yours at all....

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