Short Grunt Poems

When the enterprise gets exposed
A brothel finds out it's opposed
The sign in the front
Men meet with a grunt
Says beat it we recently closed...

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A hound-dog I know had quite a habit
Of chasing every skirt 'til he'd nab it
   He joined a fox-hunt
   Then let out a grunt
Instead of a fox, he caught a rabbit...

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There once was a young man from Peru
Who ate a cactus plant he couldn't chew---
  With a grunt and a push
  It came out his tush---
In the ER, instead of the loo....

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Long time ago in the land of Nod
Lived a tiny creature who looked quite odd
It was back to front
From its bum, it did grunt
It's being investigated by the “Back to Front” squad...

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Long time ago in the land of Nod
Lived a tiny creature who looked kinda odd
It was back to front
From it's bum it did grunt
It's being investigated by the “Back to Front” squad...

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We are the pigs, mighty mighty pigs, not a stunt.
The Iron pigs, we play baseball daily, grunt grunt.
We play in Coca Cola Park, long after dark.
We are from Allentown, where you can hear our bark....

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Animals know the fun times, they become paralyzed
Each spring they look forward, no need to supervise
Males are on the hunt
Females just grunt
But somehow the deed gets done and fertilized...

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.

         though I grunt
            your latch
       both yourn mitts
           mine mane
           yourn grip
                'tiz
           the lift uv
        mine goose's
             bumps

...

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Valentine Vapors

In the midst of her valentine capers
she succumbed to a case of the vapors
with a grunt and a groan
she wound up alone
so the sweet lass just spread out newspapers.


John G. Lawless
©2/14/2018...

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Long long ago in the land of Nod
Lived a tiny creature who looked quite odd
It was back to front
From it's bum it did grunt
It's being investigated by the “Back to Front” squad


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Things that are foremost in our mind are usually in front
Doesn't take a university genius or an art major, just a grunt
Just went to grade three
Was enough for me
Learned all there was, even the proper way to dump...

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Listen to poem:

Bursting inwards
puckered collapse sucked in,
with explosion played back in reverse,
she caught her sneeze
behind her lips shut tight,
with only a tiny grunt,
expelled from nostrils,
sneaking out,
she saved herself from 
embarassing gesundheit....

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There was once a recruit named Hubie Hunt,

   Who hoped to fly but was told "no" so blunt,

      "Sorry, you ain't qualified"

         So Hubie was certified

            To tote a gun as a ground poundin' grunt!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired...

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bloop
dribble
drip
drizzle
splash
spray
sprinkle
squirt
ahem
belch
blurt
chatter
giggle
growl
groan
grunt
gulp
gurgle
eek
moan
mumble
murmur
squeal
whimper
bam
bang
clang
clank
clap
clatter
click
clink
crash
crunch

:: 10.19.2021 ::...

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the noise is so distracting,
i can't focus on the
few words wanting out.
thoughts would whisper now,
can't hear them with a shout.
beat by the droning turbine,
exhausted by the bus' grunt.
who i am, who i will be,
lost somewhere in this din,
strung to this revelry....

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Grunt, grunt, grunt, bray, bray, bray,
I couldn't get my nap today,
Cluck, cluck, cluck, bark, bark, bark,
I shut my eyes when it was dark,
But- moo, moo, moo, bleat, bleat, bleat,
How can this farmer get to sleep?
I know, I'll put some ear plugs in,
Snore, snore, snore, grin, grin, grin....

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.
 
                grunt
                groan
              grumble
                   i
                snort

      not at the white dust
          yet at the gust
             the blast
                burst
               breeze
   
heaven's breathe that carried 
         my mother away...

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Twang toot Fing Foo
Jingle jingle rattle boo
Tiger Tiger splash, squish
Skycrapper’s crashing swish
Wretched retches snorting  snuck
Timtimbuctoo’s belching buck
Whoosh whoosh Winnie Treetree murmur
Croaking frogie's hiss hiss charmer
Punipuni giggles growling grunt 
Oink oink  words' trilling witchhunt...

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Fragile the wo
....................rds break
your con
sent
___r
___a
____i
____t
shone the bound
are ease
The dirt underneath the angels
manicured digits
evils at the bank
saving grace
no one left to thank
ewe
not a grunt
Thankless
Think less
no one seen
my be
Stay tuned
Anticipation
coming soon...

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The Holiday Meal

By Elton Camp

Bruce enjoyed the Christmas feast

And ate like he was a wild beast

With pain he did grunt

The toilet he must hunt

And soon his stomach had the least


(To see the picture that accompanies this, go to the following) 
http://www.scribd.com/doc/76781988/The-Holiday-Meal )...

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B-e on watch everyday, 
R-oaring lion is on a hunt; 
E-nemy is the devil, 
N-ever he utters a grunt.

B-e on guard all the time, 
O-n the twenty-first of May; 
N-ever will the devil linger, 
G-o on to fight him all the way.
C-hoose the bright light, 
A-s you deny the gray; 
Y-ou must always be alert, be on watch everyday....

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The blush and bloom of bride; the doom and grunt of groom.
The carelessness of bee - too bad he’s in his room.
Too bad for bird as well; weight is unbearable.
Too late he longs her love; would make pain bearable.
She nurses him in day; escapes from him at night.
He sees her take off ring - at last she saw the light.

3/22/2023...

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When they took him there
did you hear what they did?
Was there call or grunt?
Laugh or scream?
Joy or lamentation?

We perform the strangest or most grotesque
of auditory communications.
Such a mixed bag, such a miscellany!
Torture or tickle? Titillation or skin sensation?
Can we choose to hear pain or pleasure?

(13 Feb 2023)...

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B argains, bargains, bargains!
L ines of people around the store,
A nticipating treasures,
C osting less than ever before.
K eeping eyes wide open,

F or extra friendly deals.
R acing, reaching, grabbing,
I nclined to grunt and squeal.
D ignity takes a back seat,
A s agressive shoppers push,
Y ielding dispositions not so sweet.

11/25/11...

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i was a child, pushing aphids into and popping them under my fingernails, letting their green corpses gather like dirt before sucking my fingertips clean.
my mother caught me and slapped my hands away from my mouth with a disgusted grunt. 
i felt embarassed but acted ashamed, continuing my compulsion in secret; then, in two decades' time, i became an aphid....

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