Short Goatee Poems

There once was a fellow like me
Designed to make love happily
But there was a vicar
Who said, "You can't liquor
Until you can grow a goatee!"...

Read More

There was a shy man named Billy
Who liked a pretty young filly
He asked her out one day
The filly said nay
Because she thought his goatee looked silly...

Read More

Know this guy well because it's me
 A writer of fun poems, I wear a goatee
Appreciate the accolades
You guys I'll never trade
You're the greatest bunch of bourgeoisie...

Read More

A banjo picker elite I once used to be, 
Now my nose is the favorite choice of me
Don't always enjoy
The pickin' finger it soils
Let alone getting snots on my manly goatee...

Read More

Retirement ain't all it's cracked up to be
Finding things to occupy my mind is key
Like chasing young fillies
Plying them with lilies
And watch them melt and stroke my goatee...

Read More

A banjo picker elite I once used to be, 
Now my nose is the favourite choice of me
Don't always enjoy
My pickin' finger gets soiled
Let alone snotty dripping on my manly goatee...

Read More

This guy's got “IT” whatever “IT” may be
If I knew what “IT” was, I'd be so happy, I'd pee
Maybe “IT” is a wart
Quite ugly of sorts
Or maybe “IT” is a booger hanging from my goatee...

Read More

Goatee beards look good
Very sophisticated as they should
So sculpting on the face
Carefully trimmed so in place
Usually worn by older men
Tinged with grey a distinguished blend. 

© Paul Warren Poetry...

Read More

Know this guy well because it's me
A writer of fun poems, I wear a goatee
Appreciate the accolades
You guys I'll never trade
You're the greatest bunch of bourgeoisie


© Jack Ellison 2015...

Read More

A masculine waiter winked at me 
flashing a smile with his fine goatee
he needed a big tip
but such plan took a dip
when I claimed, "Ask your boss; my hubby."


Contest: Limericks Clean And Clever
15 Nov 2014...

Read More

Skinny Claus, padded coat, he-he!
Know-it-all kids pull his goatee,
heckling, “Where’d your beard go? pray tell."
“Same place as my toy bag. -- Oh well!”

December 22, 2020

contest:  Christmas Chastushka
sponsor: Andrea Dietrich...

Read More

At a water slide a man eyed me
He stared at a spot above my knee
   ‘Twas later I learned
   His gaze I had earned
My swimsuit revealed a strange goatee 



*This really happened!  Written April 25, 2015 for Jan’s contest....

Read More

   Mr. Monopoly
  
  Wearing a top hat and a straight
  jacket with a monocle and goatee.
  He owns everything like God does.
  Nobody will ever tell him different.
  He'll silence you and disappear you.
  He'll buy your friends and family.
  He's the man who bought the world....

Read More

The bearded lady comfortably sprawled

on several coats and blankets left

haphazardly to where she'd crawled.

Then looking right at me with

utter nonchalance, she

sat and sat and sat. . .

with small goatee

so fluffy.

What a

CAT!


Aug. 10, 2018 For Tania Kitchin's Cat Poems Poetry Contest...

Read More

For those of us who have lost your hair
And feel embarrassed as a mudguard up there
The truth of the matter is simple to see
Just shave it off and grow a goatee

And you will look tough and hard as nails
Where when measuring up you wouldn’t fail
So cheer up you can look cool 
By shaving it off and growing a goatee as the rule.

© Paul Warren Poetry

From a video I saw recently...

Read More

Sitting here, in a room with no light
Everything seems
Increasingly bright
And the sound seems louder
Than it normally should be
As I play 
With my excessively growing goatee

It seems like a habit
Having my mornings this way
Yet for fun there is a price
Everyone must pay

Only one question dwells
In the mind of thy own
The answer still remains
To be unknown

Somewhere in the distance
Unreachable by any means
Sits a tall beaming
United States Marine...

Read More

Why not grow, a goatee or a beard
if you think, you look really weird

Why not wear, those three-quarter shorts
if you think, your legs look like warts

Why not wear, no belt with your pants
if you think, your rear end is for glance

Why not put those studs on your body
if you think, you were born a zombie

Why not put tattoos on your skin
if you think, you’re in a tailspin

Why don’t you like, what you see in the mirror
if you think, that you are getting queerer...

Read More