Short Gertie Poems

Grandma Gertie knocked back more than a few
When, of a sudden, she heard herself 'moo' --
   I can hold my liquor!
   She burped, and then snickered --
She 'neighed' ~ Off to the factory for glue...

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Gabby Gertie garbles news.
Lusty Lester likes his booze.
Twixt the two, tall tales are told.
Seven salacious stories sold.
Tearful Tillie hides her face.
Loathsome lies lead to disgrace.


one of several no. 1s...

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Aunt Gertie changed her home to unicorn land
The day our uncle ran off with a mariachi band
Unicorn paintings peer at you from every wall
A unicorn neighs when you use her bathroom stall

Is she a bit looney? My friend Dee asked one day.
Well what do you mean? I replied.  In what way?
Dee then saw my kitchen, made up in giraffe.
Never mind, she said, with a snort and a laugh....

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What do you call him?
My cousin Gertie smirked a bit. You go first, she said.
We call him blue-eyed-stare-boy
I call him the weirdy cat.
He is a distant cousin.
Comes to our family reunion once a year.
Never speaks.
We have tried and tried.
I do not think he ever blinks Gertie said.
I don’t think he knows English, I said.
Distant cousin did not waste time with either of us.
Did not speak and did not want to.
Giving us both the creeps....

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What do you call him?
My cousin Gertie smirked a bit. You go first, she said.
We call him blue-eyed-stare-boy
I call him the weirdy cat.
He is a distant cousin.
Comes to our family reunion once a year.
Never speaks.
We have tried and tried.
I do not think he ever blinks Gertie said.
I don’t think he knows English, I said.
Distant cousin did not waste time with either of us.
Did not speak and did not want to.
Giving us both the creeps....

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qwerty gertie right hand gal
awkward and wayward old mail-order pal
with her long faded ribbons and carriage sublime
forever and always my partner in rhyme

flighty and flirty she may be indeed
or deliciously dirty whenever the need
in missive or memo,from poem to song
subject to subject we muddle along

conjuring images and setting them free
for unlocking my heart only she holds the key
without her sweet touch in a fine mess i'd be
forever and always-qwerty gertie and me....

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