Short Coupons Poems

cutting coupons

from paper left

on the john...

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Spirits right contort
liberal wisdoms die left
political coupons...

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Spirits eclipse Left
Wisdoms backseat a right mind
heavenly coupons...

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drainpipes rattle on
as the downpour cleans the walk
papier-mâché news
so much for coupons
today is full price...

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Cut them out with great care
Check the expiry dates
Carry them in your purse
Combine if allowed and
Carefully explain to
Cashiers who sometimes are
Confounded at the deal

Written on 08/23/2016
Contest :'Pleiades C'  by Kim Merryman...

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It was approaching the midnight hour
I had drunk, my last whiskey sour
now, I am one who uses coupons
"one free murder"
who could resist?
fearful this one would expire
count closely my dear poets
who reads this
is alive

And who is not
well I bid thee farewell
your silence let us not dwell...

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Lucy bought things she may never use.
Her poor hubby, irate, did accuse:
“You have blown so much money!”
She said, “Simmer down, Honey.
I used COUPONS. Please don’t blow a fuse.”


syllable count: 9 9 7 7 9  (used howmanysyllables.com)


August 26, 2019, entered in Tania Kitchin's Make Me Laugh Limerick Contest...

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Written by Gail DeBole 
Updated on April 11, 2017

A coupon clipper named Carla
Has a pile of coupons in her parla'.
      She clips more each week,
      Treats each like an antique,
And guards them against any burgla'.


Note: Illustrated in Coloring within the Limericks available on Amazon.com and other retail websites....

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ten feet away
from the woman with sunken,
tired eyes, sifting through her coupons

a crumpled dollar bill
is flattened against a man’s
paint splattered, sun-stained jeans.

he walks out, pockets lined with possibility,
she walks out with a stooped back.

the automatic door slides open
for the both  of them all  the same....

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Cucumbers, celery and stem-vine tomatoes
were hobnobbing with my Russett potatoes.
Pears and plums and one Georgian peach
winked at the Wisk and Snuggled the bleach.
Pretzels and popcorn and the Tostitos chips
ogled in awe as Meyer's bacon strips stripped!
Mr. Clean and Mrs. Dash espied a risqued art - 
when double-clipped coupons tainted the cart!...

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Netrockdeals is one of the top Websites in India that provides shopping offers and Discount Coupons.Myntra Coupons 
BookMyShow coupons

 Beardo coupon code...

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Her list includes croutons and jelly and jam,
as I read down, I see knockwurst and ham.
Bananas and tuna, pick up Borax and Bold,
if there's no Zest, then get Palmolive Gold.
Orange juice and lemons, Pepsi and Sprite,
ice cream and cookies for our guests tonight.
I arrive on line nine with it all and croutons.
It rings up, I reach in..I forgot the coupons....

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Heart robbers
Chasing after fine brothers,

Prior to a valentine arrival,
This elfin figure had no rival.
Hobgoblins are hobnobbing again
Playing games for a heart to sprain
Plastic surgeons with harpoons and weapons
To bludgeon emotions for coupons, sine qua non.
But this gossamer heart’s gone to bed, futon anon! 

Heart robbers,
Costumed as fine brothers....

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Women spend a lifetime managing every penny. Clipping coupons, going to sales, in the spirit of saving a buck. I wish I had access to one now and forever more, to keep me out of the financial muck. Mama’s boys what we men want, is buying with what they saved us, expensive toys. Hope I learn to appreciate the little things women can do,because it’s in their DNA to see us through....

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Finding sale items
clipping coupons
2 fer 1 is great when find 'em

Short in the pantry
tripping to foodbank
lines are longer now for gantry

Top ramen special
10 for a dollar
loading up as noodle cartel

Stick a feather
in my cap
and call me "macaroni".....
        
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
gantry...latin,canterius,"beast of burden"

macaroni...greek,makar,"blessed"...

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He died and found himself in the bardo
A buffet was spread out with food and drink
A sagacious elder was distribution the coupons
But when approached he greeted him with a wink

You may drink if you have quenched a fellow souls thirst 
You may eat to the extent of the hungry you have fed
But the akashic records show you’ve done neither
And have not lived a life by love and light led...

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With a whirr and grind
Slowly creeps up inching along
Then the banging sounds
The "Bobcat" reaches his paw
Out as far as it can
Pulling back black plastic
Discarded cardboard boxes
Tidbits of vegetables, file thirteen coupons
Last nights scrapes

Then the male voices
Men in banana yellow shirts
Permanently stained 
Men who come once or twice weekly
Creeping along  
Getting the tough smelly job done.....

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In the hunting field known as Wal-Mart
with meat we fill our cart
with beef pork and poultry
in our robes looking so sultry
we feast on the wild america
from the safety on aisle two
we shop as if we nothing else to do
we hunt for bargains
we wheel and deal
and cut coupons
all to safe 55 cents on grey poupon
we roam in packs 
purses replacing sacks
we hunt relentlessly for bulk prices
and buy our meat by the slices...

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I know of a hindrance
To Needful Remembrance:
To the mind a weapon,
Recalls: Luckless Coupons…

To stop getting hazier
We all know Amnesia
That thoughts makes lazier
And The Thinker lousier!
Ten times, “What did you say?”
And you’d repeat, “No Pay”
“Please, what’s your name, again?
And replies grant No Gain!
“All Roads to Hospital”
But we’re coming back with Little;
Amnesia comes to stay
And you’d better make a way?...

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Being God’s Servant 
Miracle Man
2/6/2024

I’ve always been seen as a bighearted dude,
while my wife cuts coupons and seeks out great deals.
I thank God often for mental fortitude,
if its low in price she considers them steals.

While as just a young man my Mother once said,
son, you’ll never have much, you’ll give it away.
But because of willingness we’ve stayed ahead,
God has provided and we’ve not failed to pray.
...

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Shopping for groceries is so much fun
Trying to find things on your list
Best not to go with wifey poo though
For fear of a marital rift

It seems we can never see eye to eye
Bout products we need to try
I go for meals that are microwave ready
No coupons? Cathie won't buy

We compromise meaning Cathie wins out
Husbands usually lose in the end
The only way to keep peace in the family
On her direction in life I depend!


© Jack Ellison 2013...

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