Short Carving Knife Poems

plump pumpkins panic
as Halloween moves toward
a sharp carving knife...

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the carving knife met
drag the blade down the chest
smiling face ghostly...

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I sat on the vine way up high
What a beautiful day I sigh	
	Soon came Farmer’s wife
	With a carving knife
Now I’m a spicy pumpkin pie...

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I sat serenely on the vine
The sun on my rind sublime
	Came the farmer’s wife 
	with a carving knife
I’ll nevermore feel the sun shine...

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Halloween~~~ Don't know Jack
O'Lantern meets carving knife
Jack the Ripper meets vampire
Bats in the church attic meet black zombie
Cat woman meets Jackall......

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Three Blind Mice (Parody)

Three blind mice, Three blind mice
Unwisely they ran after the farmer’s wife
Who decapitated their tails with a carving knife
Did you ever see such atrocity in your life
With three blind Mice...

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Tom Turkey got lost 'midst the teeming flock,

   Thus, avoiding the dreaded chopping block!

      Hunkering down spared his life,

         Averting the carving knife!

            He now recovers from traumatic shock!...

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My breast is getting in the way of my thoughts today
Remember the time no one would lance the cyst 
So I lanced it myself?
I am thinking now that may have been a mistake.
I reach for the carving knife.
It may be time for a secondary operation.
Surely this thing would not dare grow back a third time!...

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Roll in the mud, thrice wielding the ice pick.

La La La down the lane escaping the elusive carving knife. No chop, no gammon, no other porkly tale, round is good and round is ham and a pig I am.

Is that very great and interesting? I am unsure as I go to lie down to begin my sleep of snout snore in a bed of baked bap....

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The Easter Rabbit had a spat with his wife
She said  the dumb eggs were ruining her life
Laying eggs is so boring
Then there's your snoring
He met his demise with her carving knife...

NOTE:..apparently she borrowed the knife from
the farmer's wife ,who had been having trouble
with some blind mice.



For the "Clue" contest
2/28/13...

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At music class, they sang the song
About the farmer's wife
But this time, just to be P.C.,
There was no carving knife.

The mice retained their tails, but still
There was a bigger crime;
They substituted "nice" for "knife,"
Which doesn't even rhyme!

The lyrics from our youth, I'm sure,
Caused not one drop of harm,
But for the future poets,
I am sounding the alarm....

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Antonymity


She shines brighter than the sun
He’s just a crescent moon
She’s beautiful just like the dove
He looks like the baboon
She’s loyal like the Labrador
He sneaks like the raccoon
She’s sharper than a carving knife
He’s just a plastic spoon
She knew he loved her from the start
He knew she’d loved him soon
She’s the angel on his mind
He’s her big buffoon



By: Jeremy Siedlecki...

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If this were my last
Regret would be my truest friend
Soothing judgements on my brow
As she says it is the end
Kill me with my carving knife
She’s sharpening my skull
Poetry’s a morbid story
Perfect murder in a drawer
She walks me to my purgatory
Singing songs I bought from Time
He sold me his very essence
For the promise he’d get mine
Regret and Time stand side by side
While Death does reap my soul
Business man and dearest friend
When did I lose control?...

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HALLOWEEN – SPOOKS II

At the door
Little Boy Blue
Kissed our pumpkin
Mistress Mary too

Shutters rattle
Unearthly howls
Ghastly sounds
From Satan’s jowls

Tattered scarecrow
In the corn
Comes to life
The dead reborn

Halloween pumpkin
Big surprise
Runny nose
And bloodshot eyes

Flee my children
Here they come
Graveyard creatures
On the run

In the kitchen
Gary’s wife
Chased by a spook
With a carving knife

Diddle, diddle pumpkin
Old Mrs. Rich
Rides on a broomstick
She’s a witch!...

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