Short Asinine Poems

Cutting Thyme


Cooking time

Reducing Thyme

Yorkshire Pudding

Chef's bottle
Diner's delight!!...

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Provoking
Retched 
Offensive
Vixen 
Odious 
Calculated 
Asinine 
Tempting
Insulting
Voluptuous
Empty inside

© Stacy Lynn Stiles...

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Dull Lull Could Compel

We did determine had been dull,
And between each one was a lull;
Asinine;
All mine;
Ended up case of push and pull.

Jim Horn...

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Shall college presidents resign
When the House says words cross the line?
What should we say next
If free speech lacks context?
"Stefanik is asinine!"...

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If a man/woman is totally bald on the head 
And wanted a hair transplant...

Could the hair plug be taken from the arm pit?

If so don't forget to use deodorant daily!!...

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I believed at the time of my youth,
that clairvoyants predicted the truth.
A soothsayer foretold
that my life would be gold.
He was wrong with his asinine sooth!...

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I lust for you sweet darling of mine
Coming clean, hope I don't sound asinine
Being lusting for months
And even once
Rode the subway naked, no reason, no rhyme


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Going back to see some old friends of mine
Hope I don't start slobbering and spilling my wine
Miss them a big bunch
Will be happy as punch
Hope I don't embarrass myself and say things asinine...

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Going back to see some old friends of mine
Hope I don't start slobbering and spilling my wine
Miss them a big bunch
Will be happy as punch
Hope I don't embarrass myself and say things asinine...

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The current presidential campaign seems asinine 
For both candidates if elected promise all will be fine
Each runs down the other
Thus pertinent policy never given gesture
As we the people sip their political strychnine...

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Belligerent; demanding more 
Egotistical persona; hard core
Treasonous painful open sores 
Rectifying actions; what for 
Arrogant unsympathetic rapport
Yesterday; same as before
Asinine unit of corps 
Loyalty non-existent decor...

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Not all cheers come but from cloud nine,
Nor every vintage is good wine,
Nor just in fools’ fiefdom
Fools are fonts of wisdom,
Beware of man’s nerve asinine.
_____________________________________
Tongue-in-cheek | 01.03.2023 | epigram/limerick
...

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Stand of Geogia elegant pines
On little six acres 'tis mine
Saved from woodman's sharp ax

Once_ twice as thick, here draw the line
Other life's problems should've been asinine
Let this not be climax



(Using asinine here to mean
stubborn or obstinate like a mule)...

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Females and males have different plumbing, that I
think it is just wonderfully celestial.

"Whichever" bathroom logos on bathroom doors...
dismiss God's creations as inconsequential.

These are not only highly PC inane,but in the main, 
totally, and uniquely.....irreverential!


September 28, 2019

...

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Is not this well-worn path
more than just a journey
   or a destination?

We have a yearning
for appreciation;
some soul to reminisce us
fondly as a friend;

a warm memory or two.


Asinine the impassive life
devoid these things in time;
destined to that lonely land

   so sorrowfully  and bitterly....

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Wretched thrives going at rapid speeds
Spreading lines like ill manic seeds
Fanatic flowers attacking whack salad weeds 
Hoeing each line with a cocaine breeze 

I sneeze and tease these cursive lines with ease
Herbs dipped in asinine with the blue cheese
Cheddar mixed with ketamine, fed my epiphany if any. 
Thoughts ready to go steady. Aim fire bang goes the confetti....

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"Silence is golden"
seemed an asinine adage
when my "I love you"
was met with stony silence.
A black abyss engulfed me.

I longed to emerge.
I have heard time heals all wounds.
Time, prayer, and real love--
great healers--have brought me back.
Depression, you've been vanquished.




Date: December 17, 2017

Contest Title: One or Two Tanka

Sponsor: Rick Parise...

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Apr 2012
Chennai

I ask you, sir!
Of late, inanimate
Toothless, tethered
Can’t jump turnstiles

     "Agree, align"
     "Ask, but smile"
Mute, asinine

     "Uncalled, unnice"
     "Pushy, out-of-style"
You know, I’m fine

      "A wish, undone"
      "Exit, condone"
      "Look back, smile"

      "Unearth, sift"
      "Write," but why?
Unbonded, servile

Alive, a life
…Sad, demise...

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Why does mama only see the dog stains?

How can dad step over dog stains and not see them?

Why is it that mama is the only one who notices trash lying on the floor?

How can dad step over trash on the floor and not see it?

Does anyone but me see a pattern?

My son makes a game of balancing trash on top of the overflowing garbage can...let's 
see how high we can stack it!!  What fun!!...

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Nine little trophies, all in a line
Polished, statuesque, and radiant
Reflecting the feats that I call mine

Standing together, a golden shrine
To the person I yearned to become
To the person I hoped to define

Confining myself is asinine
I am more than my accomplishments
Time to move on from the golden nine


----
May 10th, 2021
A Time for Nine Poetry Contest
Syllables counted with howmanysyllables.com...

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“What the f**k do you want” is what she said to me.
This individual used the most vituperative effrontery.
How professional is conveying that over the telephone?
I heard that in a cantankerously vociferous tone.
I hope she does not answer that way all the time.
Saying that to anyone is not very sublime.
This use of such language on the job is asinine.
Keep it up, and you will land in the unemployment line.
...

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Shut Up, and Grow Up
(My morning thoughts)
3/26/2018
Tom

In street debate they carry crass signs,
Spewing hate and delivering their whines;
It’s always about the flavor of that day,
Many voices united demanding their way.

We grant permits for their time of shine,
Stifling commerce and appearing asinine.
Were it not for killings and being stressed,
They remain faceless with voices suppressed.
...

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Contains those asinine
Comical cute scores penned.
Cash_Johnny's cadillac
Continuous humor picked
Cachinnation left lips.
Chuckling because he's hip.
Contented emotions  


Attempt at Pleiades
Written: October 16, 2020

I am thinking of a number of humorous ones written by/sung by Johnny Cash like "One Piece At A Time".

 "She's Got The Biggest Parakeets In Town" by Jud Strunk. And I could go on....

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The soft music rose gradually
Like smoke from a freshly doused fire.
I listened to it intently
And my inner voice enquired,
Where is the source of this music? 
I’m positive I am alone
And doubt if it’s some sort of trick
Played on me by some asinine drone;
Couldn’t be, it’s absolutely
Heavenly sounding to my ears
With its timbre simplicity.
It must be music of the spheres
Inaudible except for me,
the wind and the eternal sea....

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If you were born a Lass
Not a Donkey or an Ass
If this could come to pass
This Donkey would not last
As Lassies don't eat grass
The Donkey would die
Which would make the lassie cry
That's the reason why I
Am going to have a try
To bend an ear
To make this statement clear
When going to the Zoo
To give the animals a view
That Ass will look at you
Knowing you're an animal too.
That not so silly Ass
Kept on munching on the grass...

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