Funny Satire Poems | Examples
These Funny Satire poems are examples of Satire poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Satire Funny poems written by international poets.
In Memoriam: Owen the Pheasant
Lost at an auction in Vermont betwixt a first edition Anna Karenina and a bitter divorcée named Ruth.
There once was a pheasant named Owen,
whose plumage was splendid and showin’.
but a flatlander brute,
with a camo jumpsuit,
won him cheap—next to Tolstoy—unknowin’.
By moonlit nights, I prowl with grace,
No mirror shows my pale, sharp face.
Stake through heart? Please, not today—
I dodge those stakes and run away.
Garlic bread? You think I'll drool?
I've got a stash behind the stool.
Sunlight's foe? A mild complaint,
Sunscreen 50 is my saint.
I drink your blood, but don't take fright—
It's just a snack to get me right.
No veins harmed, I swear, no mess,
Just need my iron, I confess!
Yet deep inside this fangy guise,
Loneliness behind my eyes.
Immortal curse, eternal night,
A shadow lost without the light.
So laugh at myths of vampire dread,
But think of all the tears I've shed.
I'm just a feature of the night,
Trying to keep my teeth polite.
I tried to date on Tinder once,
But "Undead" marked me as a dunce.
They matched, then screamed, then blocked my chat,
Just 'cause I asked, "May I taste that?"
I bought me a horse from a feller named Clyde,
said, "She’s gentle and sweet, just a joy for to ride."
Well, "Maybe" she was, and maybe she weren't--
the first thing she did was dump me in dirt.
I saddled up hopeful, boots shiny and proud,
"Maybe" just yawned and sat down on the ground.
I pulled, and I pushed, and I pleaded and begged,
but Maybe just blinked and then stomped on my leg.
Now me and ol' Maybe, we're thick as can be--
she naps in the shade, and she bosses on me.
Folks laugh when I ride--I don't mind much, you see--
'cause Maybe's the only girl stubborn as me.
Holy Slime of Spring™
Seasonal Epic -- Limited Drop
A divine ooze imbued with chaotic Easter energy.
Hand-delivered by a suspiciously muscular bunny and sealed in a glitter egg forged from cosmic sugar.
Properties:
Sparkles under moonlight
Smells faintly of jellybeans, peeps, and ambition
Doubles as a universal key for Easter Basket Portals™
Hums quietly when near chocolate
Effects (Passive):
+2 Egg Luck
+1 Bunny Evasion
+3 Glitter-Based Charisma
Immune to Monday blues for 24 hours after contact
Warning:
Do not feed after midnight.
Do not combine with cursed grass.
Do not let it judge you (it already has).
MysticMisfits Product Line™
Coming soon to a dimension near you… or in that locked drawer you forgot existed.
Slime Label Edition
Jelly-glow divine,
bunny whispers through the mist--
greed’s celebration.
Jellybean Blessing
May your slime stay squishy,
your portals stay open,
and your enemies
step in glitter barefoot.
May every egg you touch
hatch delight or mild chaos,
and may you always
taste the rainbow
before it melts.
MysticMisfits™ Staff Directory
Staff Spotlight:The WanderPoet
Position: Ephemeral Verse Consultant
Clock-in Time: Unknown
Clock-out Time: Immediately After You Notice Him
You won’t see him arrive.
You might catch a glimpse--
a flicker of velvet,
a whisper that sounds like unfinished poetry.
He drifts between aisles,
scribbling stanzas on the backs of receipts,
leaving notes folded in teacups,
and misquoting love spells near the lip balm display.
He never applied for the job.
He just appears
right before a storm,
drops a single verse,
and vanishes before the ink dries.
We tried giving him a name tag once.
It wrote itself into a sonnet
and dissolved in moonlight.
Check back often. New employees arrive whenever the veil thins… or HR sneezes.
Presenting...
LipHex™ Balm
The kiss that lingers… like a spell.
Are your kisses lacking oomph?
Need to make a statement that’s equal parts soft and sinister?
Introducing LipHex™ Balm--
infused with ancient charm oils, gossip dust,
and just a hint of vengeance.
With just one swipe, you’ll enjoy:
Lips that shimmer with secrets.
The ability to silence liars (temporarily… or permanently).
A trail of ex-lovers haunted by the taste of your goodbye.
Warning:
May cause intense longing, mysterious poetry under moonlight,
or sudden disappearances of people who “ghosted” you.
Do not share.
Do not combine with garlic-based products.
Do not test on mirrors.
LipHex™ Balm --
Because every kiss should feel like a contract…
a binding agreement for
longing, regret, or something you’ll only understand
after the third full moon.
MysticMisfits Product Line™
Coming soon to a dimension near you… or left in a velvet pouch by your last heartbreak.
The MysticMisfits™ Catalog
“Where the arcane meets the absurd.”
Featured Products:
MysticMist™ Eye Drops – See the truth. Regret immediately.
BoneTone™ Music Box – Wind your way into ancestral trauma.
TimeSteep™ Tea Leaves – Brew your past. Sip your future. Choke on your destiny.
LipHex™ Balm – Kiss like a curse. Moisturizes and mystifies.
Candle of Questionable Intent™ – Smells like lavender. Summons minor deities.
Order now and receive a FREE haunted tote bag
(it whispers your insecurities in Latin).
MysticMisfits Product Line™
Coming soon to a dimension near you...
Introducing... BoneTone™ Music Box!
Tired of basic playlists?
Want music with soul -- and possibly a few spirits?
Crank open your ancestral vault
with the BoneTone™ Music Box--
the only music box infused with
generational trauma and hauntingly beautiful harmony.
One gentle twist and you'll hear:
A waltz from your great-great-great aunt
(who may or may not have been a pirate).
A lullaby from a forgotten land
sung by someone whose name your bones remember.
A choir of regrets with a tambourine solo.
Whether it’s cryptic whispers, eerie hums,
or a drumbeat made from ancient sighs--
every note is personalized.
Because your lineage has a soundtrack,
and it slaps.
Warning:
May summon chills, lost relatives, or spectral dance partners.
Not responsible for accidental séances.
BoneTone™ -- For when the past needs a remix.
MysticMisfits Product Line™
Coming soon to a dimension near you...
Introducing... MysticMist™ Eye Drops!
See the unseen. Blink into the beyond.
Are your regular eye drops leaving you… underwhelmed?
Do you yearn to gaze into the fabric of reality itself?
Well, squirt no more tears of boredom--MysticMist™ is here!
Just one drop per eye and suddenly:
You can read the thoughts of your houseplants.
Your cat’s side-eye finally makes sense (spoiler: it's judgment).
You’ll witness the ghost of your great-aunt Mabel doing the Charleston in your hallway.
And best of all? Your local barista’s aura glows depending on how strong the coffee is.
Side effects may include:
Time dilation
Spontaneous truth-seeing
Involuntary interdimensional travel
A sudden craving for kale (we’re still researching that one)
MysticMist™ -- because boring vision is so last realm.
Available wherever enchanted ointments are questionably sold.
MysticMisfits Product Line™
Coming soon to a dimension near you...
I’m an Asian
So, I’m civilized!
-Really?
I’m a European; an American white
I’m an Oceania and I’m civilized!
-Really!?
I’m an African
Victim of apartheid
An oppressed black
But, I’m civilized!
-Really!?
I’m a highly educated
Preacher, saint-type motivator
First-class nation of the continent
Aristocratic; elite business tycoon
Yes, only I’m civilized crown
I’m a Muslim; a Buddhist; a Hindu;
I’m a Christian, a Jewish, and a civilized true
I believe in God and holy revelation
I’m religious and a harvester of civilization
I’m an ultra-modernist
I’m a hybrid atheist
I’m the super-food of civilized myth!
-Really!?
-Really!?
-Really!?
Civilization- sneered trade of cultural stage
Famine of fancy in the definitive heritage
All stand on lame peaceful feet to mislead
And invite you to learn from the ownership
Oh! By this word, all are a funny trader
everywhere crawling as hidden viper!
©Mahtab Bangalee/Feb'25
When I reminded her that the Bible does tell
to love not only yourself, but your neighbor as well,
she said, "But Mister Tabor,
you're not my neighbor,
so, could you just kindly go to hell?"
A sentence or two, nothing more.
Five rhymes, and then back out the door.
A meter that’s strained,
Some topic profaned:
Ah me! What’s a limerick for?
Why do politicians lie
And our wallets deftly pry,
Puff and bluster all the time
Their intent to cheat sublime.
Are we dumb or just naive
Of that talent to deceive,
Smiles aplenty to go round
While broken promises abound.
Why venerate them so
And not tell them where to go,
Pay good money after bad
The whole thing is rather sad.
When we put them to the test
They begin their quest with zest,
But time passes all too fast
Their resolve's not there to last.
We vote them out and start again
And get another just the same,
This conveyor belt of life
Sure to bring us yet more strife.
What solution may we ask
To complete this ingrate task,
Maybe ply them all with drink
Hoping this will help them think.
As to us, let's tune them out
Find a corner where to shout,
Release the loathing and emotion,
Survive the show and the commotion.
Let's be real and rather blunt
Lest our message we might stump,
There is another old profession
That earns its money by the session.
We might as well embrace the ride
Taking bumps full in our stride,
For if we blot out all the noise
They become mere soulless voids.
April 20—Standup Comedy – The Insult Comedy Tour!
How and why he
Remains so popular
With some Americans
Remains a mystery.
He remains me
Of an old-time insult
Comedian, Don Rickles
Who was infamous
For insulting his audience
Who loved his edgy comic stylings,
As he cruelly mocked
everything and everyone.
But, over time, people got tired
of his routine
And his style of humor faded away
But he has resurrected
The insult comedy routine.
Going to his rallies
Is akin to a religious revival
For some people.
They delight in being
Part of his whole mad
Carnival scene.
but for many of us
the T comedy tour
is no longer funny
if it ever was.
Satirical Journal Entry #1
Attempting Suicide:
Just The Beginning!
If I killed myself today would anyone notice? Would anyone be at my
funeral?
If so, would they come just ot give themselves peace(piece) of mind over
all the things they took from me?
I guess better late than never!
Hmmm..........
A corpse could always use a loan or a shoulder to cry on.
I wonder how I would be dressed?
Ah....... maybe somehow right before I die I could mangle my face so my casket would stay closed.
-Less opportunity for more disappointment that way.
If I killed myself today all chaos in my mind would end.
I would be in hell for sure
but I know that all this torture on earth would be forgotten.
Yet one question still remains.
Is it worth the damnation?
Yes! I am a selfish !