Realtor Poems


The Hollywood Realtor

She keeps a loaded *****
in her shoulder bag.
She once found an unused finger
and has been thrusting it
at hapless men ever since.

She loves TMZ and Nancy Grace.
She sells space to celebrities
and their attorneys.
She harangues her cosmetologists
probing for their facial weaknesses.

She carries a Pekinese with diamonds.
She is a mother of cloud-children
that live on the outskirts
of her other
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Categories: realtor, poetry,
Form: Free verse

My Realtor Horn Limerick

My Realtor Horn Limerick

For long time would have to hunt,
In search of house that we want;
With grass so green;
Such a pretty scene,
When we did saw it from the front.

Jim Horn

PS. Some call this street appeal.
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Categories: realtor, allegory, analogy,
Form: Limerick


Premium MemberThe Resilient Realtor

I was ready,
I was there…
They stood me up,
They didn’t care.
They left me standing there!
But now I am good,
Now I am fine.
I’ll do this Open House another time!
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Categories: realtor, house, humorous, work,
Form: Rhyme

The Realtor

 Walk with me, let me show what I can.
This house has been standing here for quite some time
It's one of a kind, completely made of glass.
The owner wants to rent it or sell, if you offer the right price.
I know you noticed all the cracks in it before you walked in.
What can I say?
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Categories: realtor, senses,
Form: Free verse

A Realtor Haiku

A Realtor Haiku

was starting to see
they must sell some property
for them to survive

what would be best way
for all of this to be done
and end up well off

thought occurred to them
they should sell cheap and then run
to escape it all

that is what they did
and now no one is in debt
happy have become

James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran and
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Categories: realtor, allegory, analogy, encouraging,
Form: Haiku


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