Best Realtor Poems
I was ready,
I was there…
They stood me up,
They didn’t care.
They left me standing there!
But now I am good,
Now I am fine.
I’ll do this Open House another time!
A Realtor Haiku
was starting to see
they must sell some property
for them to survive
what would be best way
for all of this to be done
and end up well off
thought occurred to them
they should sell cheap and then run
to escape it all
that is what they did
and now no one is in debt
happy have become
James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Walk with me, let me show what I can.
This house has been standing here for quite some time
It's one of a kind, completely made of glass.
The owner wants to rent it or sell, if you offer the right price.
I know you noticed all the cracks in it before you walked in.
What can I say? - - everyone wants to throw at a rocks at a glass house.
Some by accident, some just to see it shatter.
But all it did was crack it.
And not all have come from people.
It has endured quite a bit from nature also.
It shook, but it is still standing.
At the top, you can see where the glass got stained.
The owner put up shades around.
Not to hide the house, but to blend the light and non-light of the sun and moon.
Not at all times did the house blend perfectly.
That's how the glass got stained.
Again, damaged but not broken.
"Why not fix it all?" - - one might ask.
You saw it yourself, the cracks, it added a certain beauty to the plain house.
Now, I am not saying that the house is un-shatterable.
But just looking at the facts, there has been no force great enough.
Being made of glass, you can always see the plumbing and such once inside.
You're a step ahead in maintenance, preventing damages before they happen.
I must warn you though. Be careful who and what you let inside.
Alhough I cannot speak of the strength of the inside,
But I doubt any house will remain standing after an indoor tornado and such.
With that being said, this is where the tour ends.
This is all the owner has allowed me to show for now.
Of those still interested, stay in contact with me about your prices.
I'll be sure to let the owner know.
And remember, The Great Glass House
"It's like living in yourself."
My Realtor Horn Limerick
For long time would have to hunt,
In search of house that we want;
With grass so green;
Such a pretty scene,
When we did saw it from the front.
Jim Horn
PS. Some call this street appeal.
She keeps a loaded *****
in her shoulder bag.
She once found an unused finger
and has been thrusting it
at hapless men ever since.
She loves TMZ and Nancy Grace.
She sells space to celebrities
and their attorneys.
She harangues her cosmetologists
probing for their facial weaknesses.
She carries a Pekinese with diamonds.
She is a mother of cloud-children
that live on the outskirts
of her other interests.
She diets on crustaceans and couscous.
Her soft parts are pummeled
into snapping turtles.
While I was away,
her hard buttocks came to visit.
they left a card that said:
Your home has been remodeled
to suit a better class of person.
You need to downsize immediately,
contact my office
for further instructions.
I approached the authorities -
they just shrugged.