Penile Poems | Examples

Pickle - Mar 19

Pow! the pale powder pumps power into 
The pastor’s panicked pulse. Peeing his pants, 
He pulls his parcel and pitter-patters
To the piss-pot, paying his penile penance.

Two Buffoons

  One is over-senile
    the other over-penile

  One opens our borders
    the other issues loyalty orders  

  Our execrable Presidential candidates
    presage a once-great country’s fate

  Two utter buffoons America rushes to nominate
    ~ I think on my ballot I’ll regurgitate

Let There Be Limericks: Noblesse Oblige

The King
The king was quite old, but not senile,
And his problems with sex were not penile.
He could rut with the best,
When put to the test,
And got plenty of rest in between while.

The Queen
The queen wanted Sir Bruce for her lover,
But said knight had his sights on another.
She became unenamored,
When she caught him unarmored,
And in bed with Sir Frederick, her brother.

The Prince
The crown prince of a country in Asia
Loved a commoner named Anastasia.
When his parents demurred,
He said, "Don't be absurd",
And promptly employed euthanasia.

The Princess
The queen's plot was more than merely a jest,
But still Princess Winifred proved she was the best
When that small pea-sized lump
Left a dent in her rump
And allowed her to pass the "sensitivity" test.

The Duke
The Duke of Milan was an arrogant man,
Pugnacious, mendacious, and vain.
He was also a mess
For he loved to cross-dress
In ruffles and bustles and trains.

Hymn To An Art-O-Matic Laundromat

Hymn to an Art-o-matic Laundromat
by Michael R. Burch

after Richard Thomas Moore’s “Hymn to an Automatic Washer”

O, terrible-immaculate
ALL-cleansing godly Laundromat,
where cleanliness is next to Art
—a bright Kinkade (bought at K-Mart),
a Persian rug (made in Taiwan),
a Royal Bonn Clock (time zone Guam)—
embrace my ass in cushioned vinyl,	
erase all marks: ****, v-g-nal,
penile, inkspot, red wine, dirt.
O, sterilize her skirt, my shirt,
my skidmarked briefs, her padded bra;
suds-away in your white maw
all filth, the day’s accumulation.
Make us pure by INUNDATION.

Published by The Oldie, where it was the winner of a poetry contest. Keywords/Tags: hymn, art, America, laundry, laundromat, washer, dryer, appliances, clean, cleaning, cleanliness, clothes, clothing, underwear, god, godly, godliness, water, baptism, inundation, sonnet, analogy

This poem was inspired by the incongruence of discovering "works of art" while doing laundry at a laundromat with coin-operated washers and dryers. I was reminded of the experience while reading Richard Moore’s “Hymn to an Automatic Washer.”

Self Destruction

Nature abhors a vacuum,
Loathes right angles,
 But reveres the Corona.
For Nature so loved the corona
It  dirked  the  form 
Atop the penile shaft
Rendering the shape
Like a helmeted soldier
Leading the charge.
Nature bequeathed the Corona
Unto our only unbegotten sun
Whirling its solar winds,
Morphing the heavens into
 A frenzied hell.
Nature then knitted corona’s strands
Into tightly wound unseen spheres
Spiked with crimson daggers
Unleashing the globed petard
Of our mutual demise.

Cleopatra My Queen

Cleopatra my   queen
Very   old,cornerstone is me, oh um. Beef me i  kill 
Will it wasn’t be narcist be yet i crossed me my own childless womb
Be largactyl. Be throat roar i shunt me a naked penile
Weep it blunder i shalt be I naked me a bath beit lambtales
Beyet  I kill me oh um marcus anthony
Be my    dead daggerless Quatro is the  me oh do loath it ye
Tender it killed my tart be  yet guile he man a gloat
Be laughed it sodium,weep  it is tenderised shant e’ mean dick thing is cut my lice
Wept me yet i   shalt be laughed Julius Caesar. Do  mine is counterfeit bodyless me lust she naptelli
Breaker odd he yet die my own adder  it can me be desirous guard
Killer me platter my  headless roiba peniled be   vast me asp me, alone  be he beastlllie me ownerous asp like placade
bastard baste me I jel it in irony. be thy impervious sumakutra hail it defiles my utter deciet

Male Fail

An embarrassing penile occurrence
Led Johnny to want some assurance
          So Viagra he took
          Then he gave it a look
And said, "Yeah, now I've got endurance."

Blacked Heart

Blacked Heart


Within the blackness blissed lies the love that has been missed
For within the miasma mist a darkish deprived heart does resist
Of the silenced sounds heard escapes a lonely wounded word
Of the slumbered souls spurred amidst the dormant eyes blurred

Amongst the burials buried blind my lamenting love is left behind
In a clustered cave confined echoes of a manqué mind maligned
For in a cathedral chastised chant my thoughts in a ravaging rant
In a primal punitive pant bled emotions erected in a penile implant

Where my apocalyptic asylum stands ruling tyrant of sin commands
And demons dream of wastelands I parochially pray with idle hands
My heart a deeper dark by the hour is left in a storm a fragile flower
Upon this shattering shower ardently abandoned with a dying dour.



Music by Enigma - 'Amen'




June.26.2018
Abandon 2 
Sponsored by: Brenda Chiri

Horny Dude

Maverick
- man
Legs
- long
Skirts
- sexy
Knickers
- knot
Manners
- misplaced
Breast
- Blossom
Breathe
- bare
Nipple
- Nudge
Heart
- huge
Loins
- looney 
Fingers
- Fraught
Penile
- Pulse
Testicle
- Trouble
Horny
- Hornet
*****
- Propeller

Unwanted Internet Adverts - Bawdy

Svetlana appeared on my computer today
She’s so pretty, it can’t be denied
But I'm happily married for 26 years
So I don’t need an Internet bride!

Oh crikey an email advert has just popped up
It’s one that I’m embarrased to mention
But I’m female (I’ve checked) and I’m certain 
That I don’t need a penile extension!

A some what tongue in cheek poem 

05~22~17

Impotency Cure

Throughout my marriage I struggled with a horrible ailment,
Penile Sexual Erectile Dysfunction,
and because of my chronic impotency,
my ex wife filed the papers and divorced me.
My divorce it turns out was the cure for me,
because I'm now always ready for moments of intimacy.
Fewer single guys ever struggle with impotency,
as opposed to all of those who are so called happily married.

Dear Eve, and Adam

Dear Eve and not co-mentor Adam,
solo writer of The Clitoral Monologues,

Love your book.
Just one suggestion,
switch the title to
The Clitoral-Penile EcoPoliTickle Dialogues.

Feminist to feminist monoculturing monologues
make OK theater,
perhaps even the first feminist nurturing ecopolitickle opera,
if you were to also become gifted with writing songs
and choreographing exotic clitoral-clitoral dances,
but your wisdom becomes more cooperatively powerful
on an ecopolicultural nondual co-arising stage,
both clitoral yintegral
and penile yang-poignant thrust
of regenerative timing;

Our wisdom nurturing, anthrocentrically healthy, selves,
reweaving evolutionary predators invading parasites
into hunters loving gatherers
of heathiest wise nutrition.

Probably strategically better to respond to The *****-Only Monolonging
Business as Competitively MineIsBigger Usual,
with Clitoral-Penile synergy 
of wiser transgenderal politickling investments.

The Eyes of Venus

Hot raptor breath
Push goosebumps to life
On the golden-honey flesh
Of a most desired sight.

Deeply tanned and rubenesque,
Unsheathed, scented shoulders.
Arms that distill without cause to beckon
The wills of the penile-brained knights.

Wallow in her moist pink flower.
Defend with your armor that nymphet tower.
But beware, Dear Sir, should your eye slip up
Two orbs of Venus power.

Dirty Limerick

Once seduced by his junior coworkers
Old man took his dates to the lockers
They used penile tweezers 
And shagged like young weasels
Too bad he forgot beta-blockers

A Travelling Sage

There once was a travelling sage

Who yet lived to a very old age.

      Well becoming quite senile,

      With problems (yes penile),

The reader may choose:

1) He kept his packed trunk in a cage.

or

2) He packed his wee trunk in a rage.

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