the time has come to bury tim
his artificial heart could not take the reality
when he was born, the world became more colorful
his energy and his smile was like water to what once was
i will remember his baseball card collection and his passion for the game
he could have been another ozzie smith for he cut enough flips
he idolized derek jeter as well and would light up when he saw him play
when his weak heart expressed itself, gone was his original dream
however, he found another
after reading poems by e.e. cummings, he tried to write poems like him
tim emulated and imitated until he made it his own
one day i will post a few of his works
until then, the time has come to bury tim
rest easy, dear sweet nephew, i was hoping that you would make it to ten
When Ozzie & Harriet wed
Censors decreed one to a bed*
Desi & Lucy
Never got juicy
But McCarthy still dubbed them, "Red!"
* It was not OK in the USA for
married couples to share the
same bed, but always OK for
people and puppets to beat
the crap out of each other,
leaving Soup poets to wonder
why people are so cruel!
I have just read a mail from Deb M,
to say that I'm a Viking,
A warrior me? that sounds exciting.
Warriors like Vikings are very hard to beat,
Especially when they are fighting
About what is best to eat.
The Vikings love Vegemite,
Their opponents favour Marmite,
Both have similar flavours,
But Vegemite has more bite.
It hits the tongue,
With a wham,
It has a unique taste,
Not sweet like jam
Or Marmite,
Marmite is more subtle,
It lacks that Ozzie bite
I suppose if you are not a Viking
Marmite would taste alright.
It's a shame my fellow warrior,
Surname begins with M,
She could be Goddess D Marmite,
That would please them,
Oh dear, that would cut us to the core.
The only way to solve that,
Is to start another war
Vikings and Vegemite evermore!
Sadness overwhelms me,
the pain so deep within.
To know I lost my dearest friend,
Is something I can't comprehend.
I was so messed up in life,
I wasted many days.
But you were always there,
My savior in every way.
I took life for granted,
never expecting you to leave.
But the Lord called you in his arms,
and I am left to grieve.
For the loss of a good man,
a friend in every way.
That you have finally found your peace,
Is all that I can pray.
by Wayne Wysocki
This silly poem was inspired by an episode of the Ozzie and Harriet TV show, where an entire classified ad for a new saxophone player for the band became the title for a song. I thought it might be fun to apply the long title idea to a poem.
Darling, I am sorry if it hurt you when I told you that we couldn't be together any more;
I never would have thought that any one could come between us, but it isn't like it used to be before.
Now I have found someone who needs me,
Like you needed me when we started;
It's not that I don't love you,
So let's still be friends, once we've parted,
And, Darling, I am sorry if it hurt you when I told you that we couldn't be together any more.
Horn Hairy Gorilla Limerick
We were drinking some sarsaparilla
Ran into Hun that they named Attila
Pretended he was a gorgeous man
From each country him they did ban
He had turned into a harry gorilla.
Trump even played a part on the
Ozzie and Harriet as a worthless
trash collector who never learned
how to use a compactor and also
was a poor actor who became
our President. We are supposed
to be the benefactor. Can you
imagine that.
Jim Horn
Trump Boasting About Bridge
Why is it that Trump always does refuse
To pay any of his mortgage and also dues
And tax returns always refuses to show
He is up to will not want you to know.
Trump's form is similar to of a fat toad
With figure impossible to ever forebode
And him it is always easy to see through
Also lies lying in him that grew and grew.
Grew so much until on impact exploded
Head with orange hair appearing corroded
Wants to be creative in each die he does try
And of them in basement is stored a supply.
His belief in God seems to be superficial
You see his name along with each initial
Have heard it was on display in Benghazi
Started show called Trump, Harriet and Ozzie.
To win, Trump decided to declare three trump
And when he bid all of us he sure did stump
The thing that had really torn everyone apart
In him and whole deck we never found a heart.
Jim Horn
I plead the fifth!
Rhymes with no sniff
Nosed clogged Ben Gay spade with no shifts
Pace makers tripped wires
Remit
Remake takes patents to skin drifts
Power ranged a game with low lifts
Tires rims shine made drift
Blinds closed with long sticks
Brick houses with no bricks
Framed same found day shun with steel trip
Wires hang dancers give
Beauty baked lashes give rip
Maybeline lined lip
Color shadow followed him
Made created a land with give gifts
Transparent pulled out of bounds balls bounce do drifts
Out strike title stripped
Sterilize steroids with no stick
Big boned with mild tones sounds
Without Biz
Bone Thug great hit
Smashed charts with no
Ozzie remake with slick
Hiding lights with strike back
Big rims Cadillac
Heavy Chevy comes back
Nova stars mobilized
Ride click tight riding high
Bean pies French fries
Filled with no lies
Mouth covered
Say nothing
Snitch out
Been made!
Remember Petticoat Junction?
Perhaps Green Acres too?
I Love Lucy and Carol Burnett,
Just for a laugh or two?
Dick Van Dyke and The Munsters,
Back when the "tube" was fun;
Doris Day and Love That Bob,
Don't forget The Flying Nun
Maxwell Smart was an agent,
We all knew Uncle Jed;
Hazel was that clever maid,
It's sad how comedy's fled
The Honeymooner's over,
F Troop's down to zero;
The Beaver's long forgotten,
While Hogan's lost his heroes
Gilligan's left the island,
A Jeannie no longer dreams;
Car 54, where are you?
At times, I wanna scream!
Andy was a country boy,
Gomer, a seargent's pest;
Who made room for daddy?
Don't fathers know what's best?!
Maynard shaved the goatee,
Mister Ed's lost his voice;
My Three Sons are missing,
Ozzie and Harriet had no choice
McHale can't find his navy,
The Addams flown away;
A Martian ain't so favorite,
Our Laugh In's gone astray
Primetime's lost its essence,
Laughter is a con man's game;
A Family Affair's in mourning,
Is the "new age" ours to blame?
You starred as MR. Drucker on Green Acres and Petticoat Junction.
When it came to abilities, acting was definitely your function.
You lived to be 96, that was a very long life span.
There's no doubt that you were a talented man.
You also starred as Doc Williams on Ozzie and Harriet.
Now your life is over and it's what your fans all regret.
People are sad because you are deceased.
Now we say goodbye as you rest in peace.
(Dedicated to Frank Cady who died June 8, 2012.)
daylight hours
Ozzie and Ben at the picnic table
milkweeds dance across the board
chess match underway all day, every day
many stories shared, some repeated; neither cared
till knights and pawns cast long shadows
eyes straining, elders would bid farewell
violet sunsets escorted them home
one brisk morning, Ben waited for his friend
hours on end, until the orb began to sink
fading light from the spectral sunset
usher of regret
Ben sauntered past Ozzie's home
black wreath on the door
Ben cast chess pieces on the street
no longer wanted to compete
after that day, Ben’s zest for life faded away
sun still journeyed across the sky
but Ben rarely rose from bed
twilight hours found him there, recounting the past
tales he and Ozzie had told
in his mind never grew old
memories locked within his heart
shadowed recollections of a fallen chess king
There has to be a heaven for musicians
A place for old singers to go
Their music still touches our lives
As they did years ago
Ray Charles transcended music type
From country to rock to blues
Ritchie Valens was only seventeen
When his death hit the morning news
Jim Croce sang about Leroy Brown
While Nillson would croon Without You
Janis Joplin would make you rock
And Stevie Ray would make you blue
I still watch old Ozzie and Harriet shows
Just to hear Ricky Nelson sing
Harry Chapin took his last Taxi ride
And Elvis is still the king
John sang of peace and love
While George's guitar would gently weep
Conway's music wasn't Make Believe
I hear their music in my sleep
John Denver's in the Rocky Mountains High
And Del Shannon seeks his Runaway
Rainy Days and Mondays made Karen sigh
While Otis sat On the Dock of the Bay
Jimi Hendrix played the meanest guitar
Roy's voice couldn't get any higher
Bobby Darin searched Beyond the Sea
And Jim Morrison said Light My Fire
There has to be a Heaven for musicians
For all those who have paid their dues
Where the music will live forever
From rock n' roll to rhythm and blues.
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