I wake again, the sky still ash
Mostly soft, not quite the weight of lead
seen at five a.m; that god awful flash
of knowing there is nothing when dead
Here inside a room, trying to recall
if sleep or darkness shapes it all
Whiskey breath eats away my face
Oh good! Aubade… finally shows a trace
The afterlife sleeps in, it always does
Woken up in the usual way
Another drink, a top-up buzz
Lifts my spirits, just above dismay
I fumble around with unopened post
Get dressed, eat flakes, feeling like toast
Hope and despair make a meagre pact:
That life bears fruit, and breakfast lacked
I breathe, then sniff, try steady a hand
light a smoke, or slap on a patch
Gesture defiance, attempt to stand
brave it out past the hallway latch
Go search, or not, for what comes after
opt in, opt out, call on the pastor
Who's high as a kite on altar wine,
“There's nothing” he sobs, “or do you bring a sign?”
His eyes light up, as I offer him a line
And you know! that day turned out just fine.
I have invented instant creative hairdo magic, the child told the mama
When you awake from sleep, your hair will change colors, with high drama
Mama woke up and her hair was blonde with curly ringlets down her back
Surprising her a bit, as her hair was usually short, and crow-feather black.
The next day mama’s hair was feathery, light, breezy, and hot pink.
Who did that? Asked her husband. She said “Who do you think?”
The child in the meantime had blue hair with a little touch of green.
But wait, after a nap, it came out orange with dollops of red sheen.
Can we opt out of instant creative hairdo magic? The daddy said.
You see, there was now a clown’s spongy rainbow mop on his bald head.
No, the child replied. Creative hairdo magic is here forever to stay.
Mommy said, “Please child, just don’t give me long hair that is ugly gray.”
We walked through the doors,
I felt a thousand eyes looking over at us.
You assured me we that would have a great time,
that I just needed to just let go,
but I stood in the corner and watched you dance with her.
and you let me,
and you left me there.
It took everything in me not to leave through the stairs,
it took everything in me to pretend like I couldn't care.
I knew it never could have been me,
I dread that I'll never know what if feels like to be loved,
to be shown off like a trophy,
most people opt out and leave before they even get a chance to know me.
So I'll sit here,
Just like how I sat there as you danced with her.
Instead, I'll be like the trophy sitting in your forgotten display case
waiting, collecting dust.
All while in reality I am lonely,
and I just want somebody to see me shine.
so yes, I lied to you when I said I was fine,
but you should have been mine.
Did it take you all this time to realize that?
You left me crying and had me wish I were dying,
can't you see that this is me trying.
You definitely wanna take me..
Through an endless path..
But i chose to opt out my own way..
I understand my story much better..
Than you could ever do..
So i choose to face it all alone..
Whatever i may go through..
Its my life and it can't be called as yours .
Never..
And so this claim isn't worthy..
Like who the hell are you..!!
You curse me behind my back..
And want me to believe you..
No..
Not even in your dreams sweetheart..
You aren't worthy of anything that is mine..
Neither love nor the sorrows or tears..
Just nothing you deserve..
Nor the time or efforts..
It's been an year since I've talked to you..
In a way we did before..
Almost forgotten you..
What i remember is not the person you are..
But those memories that we share..
You've torn me like a sheet of paper..
And fed on my soul and heart..
But now I've clearly ripped you apart from me..
That's what you can call is your destiny..
Fading is a truth for me now..
While your fake flowering was the past..
The Path Of Least Existence
If someone must hurt, let it be me
I cannot opt out of this suffering
Damned if I do, and damned if I don't
So I harden my will, and say that I won't
This bed that I lie in I made by myself
Tossing and turning in insomnia's spell
Sweating and shaking with clenched open eyes
Joints and bones aching as half of me dies
One half of me dies so the other can live
Takes more from me than I have to give
But give I still do as I throw me away
As long as they're happy I guess it's okay
Who needs friends? Not I. No no no.
There is space but for 1, and it leaves me alone
So here I will wait, for a morsel or crumb
And be ever so grateful if it ever should come
Expect nothing less than my all, just for you
My body, my mind, and the soles of my shoes
My feet are so tired and my spirit worn thin
Holding it up holds me under again
It is what it is, what it isn't, it's not
Never can lose what I never got
Come fire, come water, come wind, and come earth
I'll pay all the cost for whatever it's worth
Who is Holy?
The Lord is Holy
Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of Hosts *
Humble as dust, despite the boasts
If He is Holy, then what of me
Am I then impure
It seems I am not
But how to know for sure
When I opt out of vulgar, vicious speech
Relationships promiscuous, lewd
I release my body from disgrace
My soul lights up my beaming face
Now I too am Holy, though not like Him
My sanctity fits only me
Like a giant candle, G-d transfers Light
His sacred flame, invested in thee
________________________________
* Isaiah 6:3
we must have forgotten...
the pyramid's foundation, rotten.
Physiological begets Safety.
shadowing the State of coercion, states thee.
opt-in by creation, opt-out, your expiration.
tread on me and my countrymen.
volition ours, to sunder friends?
participated.
regulated.
complied.
the time, overdue.
ask not what your country can do for you.
When your world is topsy-turvy
Opt out -- if you must
But don't stop CHARITY
GIVE a few coins, slices of food,
To the beggars, real or fake
And the universe heals THE HEART
By degrees. College degrees fail
All too often as does "religion,"
Just be human, a mensch, once
A day, at the very least, & "dance"
The blues away (reluctantly, secretly)
New Dictionary entry 2022
Royalty- able to pay for sex crimes with money
Putin- a Dick without the bottle
Trump-a Dick
Boris J-a semi filled straw doll
If there is a God explain me
Swinging for the sky
existence would not give me the chance to opt out
of all humanity
Never seen anything behind the eyes
Next
If you are new to Wainuiomata,
There are some things it is good to know.
If you lose your Wallet,
Don't panic,
Continue with your picnic,
The Wallet will most likely find its way home.
No harm will come to you,
If you give a nod or cheery hello,
To those who on the street pass you.
If you are only shopping for a few items,
You will generally be moved to the front of the Que.
If your IQ is not too emotional,
And you wear a mask.
Owners of dogs,
Are usually trained well by their pets.
The weather can be quite tricky,
And if you see a few rain clouds,
Don't think it means you can opt out of mowing your lawns.
It took us thirty years to get it right,
But some have been known to do it in twenty.
I have to choose a health plan;
It’s driving me insane.
The varying opinions
Do so little to explain.
If I do nothing, then it seems
The new plan I did choose.
If I “opt out” I keep the old
And either way, I lose.
Both plans have pros and cons, of course;
My friends are torn and split.
I rarely like decisions
And in this case, not one bit.
I have two weeks to ponder
Then I have to make my pick,
But all this back and forth about it’s
Making me feel sick.
My best friends are “there for me.” Each, in turn, presents their partial list of people who’re upset with me - with my “social suicide” decision to opt-out of my senior year and go, instead, to university.
It seems that by forgoing 12th grade, I'm rejecting their way of life, attacking mass production or committing an act of terrorism.
I try to explain this obsession I have, since the pandemic lock-down, to get out and into the world.
The great pandemic isolation scraped away at me, left me feeling ransacked and empty. I can’t ignore the call of freedom any more than I could yank out my heart and continue living.
They can’t seem to hear me - it’s like I’m mumbling, speaking in tongues, or talking to myself
Everything in my past,
has shaped me into who I am today
Daughter I'm fine
Thinking on all the years we had
which you today opt out of
Actions, decisions and choices
My world is hushed and silent
No laughter from grandchildren
every soft embrace is faded
A million words would not brings you back,
none of your puzzle pieces fit together
There is pain on both sides
Daughter I hope you are fine
I cannot live with drama and lies
We often want to avoid unpleasant feelings
and lose touch with who we are
But you must be ready
and emotionally available
Our emotions are a compass
indicative when we makes choices
Nothing is impossible
you are a part of my heart
16.11.2020
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
It's a part of me /Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Silent One
1st place in the contest
When the past's more v'v'd than the here-and-now
Depart the stage w'th a curtsy or a bow
Let youth perform and garner the applause
You opt out w'th a grandfather clause
I saw the advertisement
And clicked on the description
I should have filed it as spam
But now have a subscription
I am so distracted
My thoughts have been hijacked
I lost track of my consciousness
My brain is clearly hacked
The virus is aggressive
It quickly moves around
Twisting up my network
Till I have to shut it down
Every time that I reboot
I feel that I’m contagious
So I’m careful not to spread my mood
Because it could be dangerous
I know that I can’t function
With all these tangled wires
So I’m waiting out my membership
And praying it expires
Unwanted messages
Are messing up my vibe
And if I could opt out
I’d simply unsubscribe
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