Old Codger Poems

I Am An Old Codger

...Improving our status requires hard work. 

An abundance of years has made us old.
Majority of school mates have gone on.

And accelerating days increase our speed
Newly reborn by accepting Jesu...

RoBo Calls

...
RoBo Calls
Miracle Man
4/25/2025

I’ve a strong dislike that now borders on hate,
toward those unwanted calls that won’t abate.

I get perhaps ten or so of these calls every day,
th...

Old Codger

...Get thee hence! Get thee hence!
Away the riffraff from my fence
Ye've rattled window and rattled doors
Till there's no peace upon the moors
The hallowed folk have left their graves
To rid themse...

Snakes He'd Shoo

...Have a Guiness and let’s toast St. Patrick
Whether laddie, lass or old codger geriatric
A bold gent with such clout
All Eire’s snakes he shooed out
Never has there been a saint so theatri...

1968 My first funeral

...
I wonder why everybody felt the need,
to express their opinions so openly,
about this man who had the misfortune to die.

I watched them slowly strolling past the casket,
like they were shoppi...

Rogering Roger

...The gals are besotted with Roger,
he's famed for the size of his todger,
they pay for his time
(he charges a dime) -
he's ninety but not an old codger.

No need of Viagra in force
as Roger's a...

Gonna Keep On A-Gawking

...

For a man of my age, I should no longer dream
Of pretty young fillies, quite naughty it seems

But we don't lose the joy to gawk and to stare
When the sweet scent of female fills up t...

Long Live the Soup

...Just received a message of love
From a dear sweet soul on the Soup
It blew me away brought a tear to my eye
To feel such love whatta a hoot

These friendships here are quite common
The ...

Association of Chronic Bellyachers

...When traveling a stretch of life's highway
Does it feel like it's uphill both ways?
Does it feel like winter's twelve months long?
Do you work like a dog for small pay?

Well welcome to ...

I Stare In the Mirror

...I Stare in the Mirror


I stare in the mirror and what do I see?
An old man with rheumy eyes looking at me.

Who is this old codger, this balding old shell,
Who cannot r...

Kenny Rogers

...Some people call me Kenny
Because of my resemblance to Mr. Rogers
Wish I had his enormous piles of dough
I'd sure be a happy old codger

Methinks they mean before his facelift
At least ...

Old Codger Crotchfield

...Old Codger Crotchfield of Livermore
Knows of no child he does not deplore
When kids trick or treat
He throws them pig's feet
The next day raw eggs cling to his door

Written 10/17/22...

Youtube Computer Networking Tutorials a Dog Send

...Youtube computer networking tutorials a dog send

Ideal to peruse the vast treasure trove
of lecture material
pertaining to aforementioned title
on the webbed wide world
especially gratifying t...

Lucky Is a Hit

...I am bringing my puppy, the old codger said.
The rest of the foursome were less than pleased with young Lucky.
But the puppy was no trouble, and helped their team get ahead.
Many others let them p...

Corsets and Candy Cigarettes

...Where are my old white corsets
  Right next to your candy cigarettes

Hey! We didn't get today's edition of 'Grit'
  It's canceled. They use bad words now like 'Guck' and 'Spit'

Oh, and I can'...

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