A silent maid
born of starlight
glides forlorn
deserted by moons
and her blessed tribe
in hallowed mansions
far beyond
the wooded places.
My entry-C
I hate my low moments.
Those moments when I try not to but my eyes find your name and my finger dial your number
These days it never goes through anymore
All I hear is a beep then a silence I will never fill with words
I dont want you to pick up.
I dont want your voice to warm up my heart again.
It grows so cold in the silence thereafter
Against my better judgement I keep dialing.
Hoping you'll pick up yet praying that you wont.
I really hope you dont use the kind of phone that stores calls that didnt get through
I dont know how I'll explain what business my fingers have dialing your number
What business my heart has wanting to hear your voice.
I have to admit, mindless hope is one of my bad habits
And you...are just another
- All My Bad Habits
I wish you could love me. You say you want a girl who’s understanding, kind, loving, and will work for your trust. I would do all of that for you, I would work with you to build our relationship, but you don’t even want to try. It’s back and forth with you all the time, one second you care, the next you don’t, but I want so badly to help bring you the peace of mind you’ve been searching for. I know I’m not perfect, but why can’t we try? You said you like me, but you don’t want to date me, and that’s fine, but you can’t sit here and claim to want the kind of girl that I would be for you. Don’t say that I don’t want you, because I want you more than anything, even if you don’t want me.
In my few quiet moments, I always say grace,
a mother first, trying to find my place,
my eyes are tired, every single day,
I’m praying for peace, to come some how, some way.
A co-worker's friendship is definitely great,
I work so hard, yet my bills are still late.
Im trying to juggle the roles, of being both mom and dad,
sometimes crying in bathroom, not wanting the kids to see me sad.
For them I work long hours, trying to make it all alright,
hiding the struggles that haunt me at night.
I want to be enough,
Why is this life so tough?
As a daughter, I wanted to make them proud,
but I suffer the burden of them humiliating me in front of a crowd.
A true love with someone I hope to share,
someone who means it when they say they’ll always be there.
For all that I strive to give, for all that I try,
here comes my racing thoughts,
asking myself why?
I dream of a moment where love holds the key,
to the genuine heart I have for them all,
something I fear they will never see.
Looking at her is like
a grainy old romance
warped in a bathroom mirror—
time distorts in her footsteps.
She’s always smiling,
even when tears circle in her eyes.
Only on certain nights will she
pull off the mask
and fracture in hush, splintering inward.
She speaks little—
perhaps the quietest soul I’ve known.
Her days revolve around his breath,
his smile her only pastime.
Being loved by her
is like being held by fire—
the scorching hug will
drain oxygen from lungs,
but only because
going all in is her only form of love.
I envy the one she loves, but I am
not, no. I am her—
the ember of romantics,
too charred to be remembered.
Love and sorrow walk as one, A bond unbroken, never undone.
For every kiss, a tear will fall, A whispered ache, a lover’s call.
The heart that loves must bear the weight, Of joy entwined with sorrow’s fate.
For love is cruel, it does not spare, It lingers long, yet leaves despair.
It wears a veil, it hums a tune, A melody of love and ruin.
Its hands are silk, its lips are fire, It sings of hope, then buries desire.
A lover’s touch, a mourner’s cry, A love that lives, yet begs to die.
It carves its name in skin and stone, It builds a throne, then sits alone.
For every vow, a wound is made, A promise carved, a price unpaid.
Yet in the dark where sorrow stays, Love still lingers, love still sways.
It wears a veil, it hums a tune, A melody of love and ruin.
she never knew love
served soft upon silver plates
so she learned to taste it
in sharp rusted fates
fingers traced promises
carved into skin
a hunger for warmth
in a world caving in
yet even the knives
could not sever her light
a sun breaking through
after years lost to night
she stitched up the wounds
with the threads of her will
spun gold from the pain
made the silence stand still
now love is no weapon
it hums
it remains
it softens the scars
pours like warm summer rains
A love gone wrong
What went wrong between us? Can you tell me?
I tried to be all you wanted , but you didn't want to see.
I couldn't be myself with you and you didn't even know .
You would say things that hurt me, I didn't let it show.
I kept my feelings to myself, you didn't seem to care.
You didn't even notice that I was even there.
I knew there was something wrong, but I didn't know what it could be.
But now that it is over , I see things differently.
I didn't really know you and you didn't love me.
It had such a wide variety of sounds,
They had echoed through the air,
the waves gushing up and down the sand,
Me alone laying down on the cold wet sand,
like snow you just can't get up you are just in a trance,
I want this memory to end,
But one look at my mom and all those thoughts come rushing back,
It's has been 7 years since then,
Every time I get those cuts my mind goes blank,
I have overcome thoughts Because my mind his stronger.
Ok. I know you
Don't see me the
Way I see you.
But don't you know when
Your sad it makes me sad too.
And when your happy
it makes me glad.
Watching you
Fight through your
Anger issues I wish
Every time that I
could hold You through.
And darlin don't you
Know when there's
Light in your eyes
It drives the darkness
Far from mine.
I know I shouldn't feel this
Way but the feelings
I have for you are
To deep to escape and
Because I'm always
In the shadows Im
Sorry but you'll never
Know... My hearts to
Bruised to let it go.
If you don't feel sorry for yourself
then who is there to feel your pain?
trying to be in someone else's shoes
never really feels quite the same
the affect and sentiment in truth
fits you only like your name
so who would care
when you despair
with just yourself to blame
a shame to have emotions
that press to take their toll
to let the flood gates open
when you have lost control
tears a release of pressure
too much inside to hold
like old regrets
that rise from depths
until the heart turns cold.
You made me a home.
Then, you just took it back.
You healed my home.
Then, you cut it back.
You painted me chrome.
Then, you stripped it black.
You shaped my globe.
Then, you squished it flat.
You made me a home.
So, you could just take it back.
Praying
It was just yesterday,
his love was a quiet smile,
embracing the faith, the sigh,
like a heart who can see,
past the ugly in me,
through the expanse of shadows,
pouring over my naked palms,
awakening dreams in a heart,
who is silent,
yet unburdened of doubts,
when will he see…
beneath the worries, the fears,
beyond the softest tears,
where there is a flow, liquid signs,
melting the yesterdays,
as they quietly descend
from the memories bleeding
pouring out darkness,
then grace, then all the light
like his embrace…
wounded by the music,
playing, softly,
in the heart, on the mind,
roaring like an ache in time,
with the stars,
rhythmic, beating,
trembling in gentle beats,
soothing away the past,
as it melts into the shadows…
it was only yesterday,
his love grew quiet, quite silent,
as the heart breathed,
rhythmic words,
healing and hoping,
needless to say, to this day,
he dreams of her,
as the past preys, he prays.
Wilting Flower Petals
I count the men that leave me like a child would count wilting flower petals
Dried up, bereft of color and soul, that's how the petals leave the flower, all alone
Life seems to be a drifting montage
Predestined and premade, I have no control over it
Just as the flower sits away, silent and silenced
as the children pluck the petals away.
Violins whisper on warm summer night
Nightingale twitters a song just for me
Lost and alone I have lost my knight
heartbreaking moment I failed to see.
Birds twitter like whispering violins
Melodious moment soothing my mind
Uplifted I spread invisible wings
Violins and birds create heavenly chime.
Sadness resides in heart that is broken
Final goodbye to my beloved one
It seems that the Nightingale has spoken
Violins whisper as my life moves on.
Beautiful thoughts invade suffering heart
Goodbye my love I feel torn apart.
19/05/2023
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