They tell you when you're young
that you don't know what love is.
Maybe they're right
because it took heartbreak
for me to finally understand what I need.
I don't just want to be loved.
I want to be yearned for.
I want someone who chooses me
without needing a list of possibilities
waiting behind my back.
I don't want to feel like an option
because someone can't find enough
in one person to be satisfied.
Because when I love,
I don't leave pieces of myself
in other people's hands.
I give one person my whole heart.
I want that same devotion returned.
I want someone who misses me
when I'm gone,
who feels my absence,
who doesn't constantly wonder
if something better is waiting somewhere else.
I've spent too much of my life
feeling like I was almost enough.
Almost chosen.
Almost worth staying for.
And I'm done with almost.
I don't need someone
who can tolerate my depth.
I need someone who craves it.
Someone who looks at me and thinks,
“I don't need anyone else.
I found what I was looking for.”
Because I don't want to compete
for a place in someone's heart.
I want to be chosen so completely
that there is nowhere else I'd rather be.
STATUS QUO
You be my only
You be my only, you be my only one
You are my only love
I am encouraging
Holding your heart, in my spirit
You, only one for me can’t you see it
Ever so nourishing
You complete me
You make me whole
Bringing me fresh ideas
The way things are
Status quo
Existing state of affairs
it’s you your love that’s so rare
So, so sweetly you care
You are my only love
Sent by God, above
My only love this you should know
Status Quo
You complete me
You make me whole
Bringing me fresh ideas
The way things are
Status quo
Presently it is condition good
You are in my mind, soul and heart
You’re giving me a brand-new start
You are mine, my heart, that part
The way things are right now
Existing state of affairs we are
Covenanted engaging
Keeping things exactly as they are
There’ll be no making changes
You are always, only mine,
My heart, my soul
existing state of affairs
it’s you your love that’s so rare
So, so sweetly you care
You are my only love
Sent by God, above
My only love this you should know
Status Quo
8/18/26
by James Edward Lee Sr.2026©
FELICA
Felica, Felica
I cannot help even dreaming
of you my friend
It has been many hard years
But I would be honored to full fill
your long awaited unfulfilled
birthday wish
Problem is we are far apart-
I am not sure where you are
but imagine it's still Redding
and I am beyond Oregon-so if
you could come to me.................
I might some day visit where you are
However, this is uncertain
Nevertheless, I am constantly looking for you
my brown eyed brunette doll!
My heart is yours regardless of what I endure
All the heartbreak and pain that I will go through
All the scars on my heart in each tear I shed
Are the price I'll pay in hopes of being loved by you
Though our relationship is no picture of perfection
With all the storms that we've had to weather
If I have you by my side I have no fear in mind
Knowing we'll prevail as long as we're together
My love will not lessen or slowly fade away
It continues to grow becoming stronger for you
And even though we are at our love's lowest low
Remember we're fortunate to have a love so true
I vow I will love you longer than any forever
And I will never choose to leave your side
Until the day comes when that choice isn't ours
I will be by your side until the day I have died
Would it kill you to love me
If only for one day?
Would it pain you not to shove me
Or look the other way?
Would it kill you to love me
Instead of being cold?
I would let King Midas hug me
And turn me into gold
Would it kill you to love me
Don’t just give a stoney stare
Or will you, too, rebuff me
For the vipers in my hair?
Jacob was my first true crush
But we were both too young
Daniel made me swoon and sigh
When he spoke a different tongue
Kevin never knew my name
For I’d loved him from afar
But only Billy loved me back
And stayed inside my heart.
In loving memory of
Billy Thompson
I wish
I had the words
and that
I could tell you
why
how
but like the blades in my throat
I cannot
I can only write it in my note
and hope
that one day
they’ll say
what I never could.
Flirt with my demons, hold them to your heart
In spite of my clustered mind, I'll hold up my part
Hold my hand close to the beats in your chest
A promise of foreverness, though we'll never be "the best"
What the songs get correct, but the media thinks is dead
Two intertwined lovers, our image is stuck in my head
Mockery and pungent words won't end our rumba
They'll be laughing when the skies are painted red, ha!
Pathetic lies try to separate us, but they sound like sharp notes
In a music book, where the songs are pleasing and don't sound faux
They ask me, "Dear Bonnie, where has your Clyde gone?"
O darling lover, but we both have heard this song
Shallow and crumbly, their arguments go for too long
Their voices belt across galaxies, yet they know their wrongs
But one thing that I know is your rhetoric is divine
When I glance up on the horizon, Nature says it's a sign
So, we starve their remarks, like fires with no oxygen
Because little do they know, we'll never bow down to them
So intensely I loved you,
And in the heat of passion I was burned,
Like a tree caught by surprise,
By the traps of fire that devours all nature in its turn.
Slowly I won you over,
As the sun courts the day with care,
As the moon dims the warmth away,
And the sky, defeated, empties into air.
So your coldness cooled me down,
The passion faded, the light grew pale,
Leaving bruises born of emptiness,
Of uncertainty and a love that fell silent without a tale.
Every memory, a faithful witness
Of a feeling never truly lived or fed,
Hope departed, and with it Cupid fled,
Leaving only the echo… of cold silence, lost and dead.
To be loved,
Is to be confused.
It’s receiving roses without thorns,
And looks without scorn.
The feeling of melting in someone’s arms,
While being unarmed.
It’s being afraid of the dark,
But knowing the moon shines afar.
The wind that brushes hair from your face,
Making your life suffice.
The moth that’s usually drawn to the flame,
Waits by the porch light to hear you say its name.
The glitter on the floor you can’t get rid of,
The thread in the cloth that you stitch.
The one you get to keep secret,
Safely tucked away in your pocket.
Even if their mention never leaves your tongue,
They still make you think you’re enough.
Because they’re job is to confuse you,
And to never leave you.
Because even after they’re gone,
They still linger on.
In the perfume that they wear,
And in the roses that they share.
With fingers crossed
A glance, a smile, a dream I chase,
I walk these paths hoping to run into you.
How can one thought stay glued to my mind,
like searching for a needle in a field of hay?
I memorize your schedule in my head,
trying to find one minute that could change everything.
What I have been through, only you can fix.
I wait with fingers crossed, hoping you see me.
I would go to any length just for a look,
like two train tracks that run side by side,
longing to touch but never meeting.
Your voice pulls me closer every day.
I fall asleep with you still in my thoughts,
hoping that one day we can finally be real.
So I lay here with my fingers crossed,
praying you will see me, touch me, and stay,
until my love for you is finally enough.
Date [25 April 2026]
Title [With fingers crossed]
Sponsor [Edward Ibeh]
What you wanted
arrived quietly in my room
and began rearranging the furniture.
The books I once praised
closed themselves without protest.
I learned new songs
simply because they lived in your mouth.
Even the rain changed accent.
It knocked softer,
as if afraid to wake
the version of me that came before you.
I started choosing mornings
the way you choose flowers—
with patience,
with unnecessary tenderness.
Your laughter taught my silence
how to open its windows.
Your happiness became the weather
I checked before stepping outside.
Now when I say I like this,
I hear your footsteps inside the sentence.
What I call preference
is only love after it has settled in.
The cosmos keeps misplacing you in my sky,
A planet too near, yet forbidden to collide.
Our paths redraw like stubborn lines,
Sacred geometry, cruel design —
Close enough to burn, too bound to defy.
We split one song through borrowed wire,
Two pulses climbing the same burning fire.
Your shoulder brushed the edge of mine,
And silence swelled like holy wine —
A hymn restrained by higher choir.
Years pass; the ink refuses to fade,
A letter sealed, a promise mislaid.
It sleeps like a blade beneath my bed,
Sharp with the words I never said —
A relic of vows we never made.
You stand in pews of different light,
I kneel where faith divides the night.
Yet still we trade our careful hellos,
While under our ribs a river flows —
An ark that aches but won’t take flight.
So we remain in measured spin,
Two orbits tight beneath the skin.
If speech were freed, we’d both give chase —
Undo the stars, abandon grace —
But gravity is God, and God won’t bend.
Oh to be loved and not lusted,
To be seen as a soul, not a body to borrow.
To have hands held with gentleness,
Not with hunger that fades tomorrow.
Oh to be known beyond the surface,
Beyond skin, beyond fleeting desire.
To be chosen in quiet moments,
Not only when hearts burn with fire.
Oh to be cherished slowly,
Like a song remembered for years.
Not a moment of passing passion,
But a love that outlives fears.
Oh to be loved and not lusted
To be valued, whole and true.
A heart held with intention,
A love that simply says: I choose you.
By day, I turn the thought of him into anger and let it harden. By night, I ache for his knock, for him to cross the threshold and find his way back to me.
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