Long Weenies Poems

Can I go to the bathroom? This place is full of jackasses. This place is full of jackasses jerking each other off. This place is full of ignorant, parochial, zit-sucking jackasses undeserving of their place...

Read More

The bases needed sweeping 
As the end was drawing near
Buns and weenies waving
As Fans swilled down their beer

The crowd jumped to their feet
As Macy went to bat 
And while walking to the plate
To everyone he...

Read More

brothers we be, brother we be free


brothers we be
brother we be free
me and lil bro would have these sword fights
yelling fight to our deaths
yelling to the victor gets Kristina the neighbor's daughter
we were young
about ten
drawing...

Read More

while working one evening at the plant,
an older man began explaining to a younger man next to him
just how easy it would be for him to get away with 
killing someone.

the young man,
now more attentive...

Read More

Overweight Terrier:
   Porky
   Yorkie
Un-cool Terrier:
   Dorky
   Yorkie

Spaniel dog breeder:
   Cocker
   Stocker
Parrot who mimics a Spaniel's bark:
   Cocker
   Mocker
Book on...

Read More

FOOTLES FOR THE BIRDS AND THE BEASTS - 

Bad-ass old bear:
    Grizzly
    Grizzly

Dachshund making critical life choices:
     Eenie
     Weenie...

Cougar from Arizona:
...

Read More

FOOTLES FOR THE BIRDS AND THE BEASTS - 

Bad-*** old bear:
    Grizzly
    Grizzly

Dachshund making critical life choices:
     Eenie
     Weenie...

Cougar from Arizona:
...

Read More

Neither We Nor Me Will Be Weenies  

Neither me nor we but you are the one
And after all my many poems are done
Instead of much suffering from abuse
You can put all my poems to...

Read More

LIMERICKS NOT WRITTEN FOR A CONTEST

Men will slobber and drool when at the beach
Cuz bikinied women are out of reach
So eat your hearts out, men
For those girls you will yen
Fine women would consider you a...

Read More

In summer, I would never hear the call
for dinner.  I was having too much fun
when I was at the plate in wiffleball 
and hoping I would score the winning run.  

I could not...

Read More

What the hey??
I'M TURNING GREY
please be kind
AND LOCK AWAY
Dorito chips and Pringles too
MY GUT REVEALS and so do you!!

Jello gelatin for my waist
ADVENT AGE to embrace
Who can fight these times,today?
UNFLATTERING HIPS prepare the way

Getting to...

Read More

Consumed

I remember in poverty,
eating ramen noodles,
daily.

Beans and Weenies.
Meatless sauce
spaghetti.

Rice, Rice, Rice,
without any real
spice.

Bologna Sandwiches.
Hamburger Helper
mixes.

Fried Spam,
and all kinds of meat,
canned.

Hot Dogs on a stick,
burnt to a
crisp.

Catfish from the creek,
yellow belly
meat.

Milwaukee’s Best.
Another broken
promise.

The cheapest smokes.
Always gotta...

Read More