Long Underarms Poems

FULL HOUSE

“Full house,”   she said     “Every seat’s taken
There’s an excitement out there!” she said
All he saw was the empty stage
         ...

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hanging in the air
humidity’s heaviness . . .
the river’s slow crawl


On the Mississippi lies the beautiful little city where I once lived. How many times I trudged up inclined streets; or leaning forward, red-faced and...

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Porkpie Jones has brittle bones, and crusted corn-filled toes,

And sleety eyes and bulgy thighs, and brillo pad elbows,

His underarms are typical farms, and reek a barnyard smell,

Its quite the place for creepy, crawly, parasites ...

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Tonight I walk alone
For no apparent reason
I have friends who care for me
But I had to get out of the bar
I couldn’t stand the band (and I was in it) and the smoke 
Was choking...

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~Female Menopause~

Skin that was so soft with the glow still upon it, 
Smooth and luscious and warm to caress,
Young and lovely it used to be,
Not now, oh woe, my skin is a mess.

I shaved my...

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My nutty week stays long in my memory
My brain didn't process like it would normally
But just to be sure I now lay of the pink gin
I will share you my tale and shall now begin.

Paracetamol...

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People often say now I understand
When they hear that I'm from Paree
Not Gay Paree silly, but redneck
In the heart of Tennessee

I am the newest style of hairdressers
Here to lay out all the facts
I no longer...

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TAGS

TV tells the stories that connect us,
Get the benefits you deserve.
Of course, everyone knows
There is nothing worse than dingy clothes.

Open a bottle of pop
And you open happiness.
It’s amazing what you’re capable of.
A diamond says love.

We’re...

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Let’s do an underarm reveal, she said in a daring sort of way.
I knew at that minute that this contest would make my day.
She has not shaved since 1997; not being demure.
This was hilarious to...

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That is how a love story goes,
people professing eternal fealty,
invoking the Almighty's guidance,
just cannot live without the other one.

But when

     bills start to pile up,
     mortgage is...

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Splashing paint on a canvas
   Is that visual art?
   Does it constitute anything resembling design?

A huge swastika as a backdrop 
for an Israeli Jew crushing a 
Palestinian Arab baby under 
one...

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This stuff right here is not a poem - it just rocked up in front of me and I honestly have no idea what its supposed to be - maybe a short story.

Anyhu - here...

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Poetry contests.   How ridiculous. Silly even. It is like comparing:
dogs with underarms,
underarms with toothbrushes,
toothbrushes with giraffes,
giraffes with garden parties,
garden parties with throw pillows,
throw pillows with coffee cups,
coffee cups with light switches,
light switches with...

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You left me Ha!
Off you go
You think I need you
Hit the road
I can find someone else
To walk on my chest
You weren’t that good
You’re certainly not the best

I’ve seen a manikin wearing thong
But on you girl...

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Have you ever been on the train or bus
take a sniff and sit with disgust?
There's a bad feeling in your gut
because you know you smell some butt
All you think is someone move me
cause I'm tired...

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if you have never had crutches you do not know this
but….
they hurt your underarms in the worst kind of way
They are clumsy and difficult to use

Sometimes they pop against a rock and you go down...

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