Full House

FULL HOUSE “Full house,” she said “Every seat’s taken There’s an excitement out there!” she said All he saw was the empty stage a Steinway Grand its bench His accompanist stood off cigarette in hand just exhaling a puff so unconcerned He was nervous very nervous but then He was always nervous and for hours before He’d thrown up in the rest room a few minutes ago Nothing new He often threw up before a recital Wild thoughts went through his head (those tall thick billowing curtains looked strangely threatening so dark blue grotesque) His mouth felt dry (what if he should choke during the opening work?) He felt a bit dizzy (what if he should pass out? the fall shattering his priceless Stradivarius) Was it too late to cancel the concert? (he was still slightly nauseous) What would people think? What would people say? His accompanist was so calm (his accompanist must hate him – hope that he might play poorly look how he raised his chin as he inhaled staring eyes what was he looking at? What was he thinking?) There was that one passage in the concerto (he’d played it hundreds of times never satisfied never quite perfect what if he fumbled that passage even just one note?) His tails felt tight (he should have had them altered What if the underarms split out?) Everything at once! He felt like running! (don’t be ridiculous!) His manager was all smiles “I tell you, Robert, there’s excitement out there!” she said Robert’s knees were knocking “You all ready?” she asked Robert nodded, yes The house lights dimmed Boris, his accompanist, stomped his cigarette “Out you go!” she smiled (please don’t tell me to ‘break a leg’) he thought