Long Tesco Poems

I'll dibble dab and squiggle on my pad,
I'm just a lad, and if it's good it's bad
and bad is good, words are misunderstood,
not could, would and should or does and mood.

Food for a dozen with...

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ShopLift To A Job

From a bustling town called Bukit Mertajam, a mainland part of Penang Island,
Outbreaks a story that warms the heart, about a man being given a helping hand.

With a headline that boasts of...

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Turned on the TV to see what they'd say
There's crowds in the streets all around the UK
Shelves being ransacked at Tesco all day
It's happening too in the U S of A

My TV depicting an end,...

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Turned on the TV to see what they'd say
There's crowds in the streets all around the UK
Shelves being ransacked at Tesco all day
It's happening too in the U S of A

My TV depicting an end,...

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Birdman

Bold Dewi Jones would leave his home
first thing every morning,
and trot him down to Towy Wood
just as day was dawning,
and there he filled his Tesco bag,
five pence from any store,
with chickweed celandine and seed
and other...

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Thanksgiving gobbledygook

The following anecdote baste
upon overactive imagination of mine
in sync with being married
and monogamously living socially chaste
life as a scrupulous anchorite,
whose weather beaten corporeal flesh
plus sabotaged, riddled,
and tuckered psyche effaced
after becoming adequately stuffed,
this turkey (in...

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This is the tale of Whistling Jim and how he met his maiden fair.

By the shores of Richmond's river, by the shelves of sparkling water
In the shining super market, Meg Macauleey, Nimble Fingers
Nimbly checking out...

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My Phone

I've just been down to Tesco to get some shopping done,
I never go with money cos I have a little fun
You see it makes me snigg*r when I hear old ladies moan
'What was wrong...

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Bah Humbug

Christmas comes but once a year,
With that I am in tune
But what makes me shake in fear
Are the cards in store arriving, during the month of June!

Trying to find a birthday or any general...

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What next? You may ask? 
My next task? 
I have done deep underground....... 
Sharks I have found... 
Ice and snow 
All for the show! 

I know! 
The ultimate stress test 
A shopping test around tesco!...

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Homeless Alexander

Why are you so bloody happy,
Living in your cardboard box.
Looking at life from street-level,
Holes in your boots and socks.
 
Hello Alexander, my old friend,
Did you enjoy luncheon at the Ritz?
Just popped into Tesco express,
Got...

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Only six months 'til Christmas...
Yes, just six months to go- 
I'd best start making lists, 
Buying bottles for' ‘rellies' who like to get pissed
And scouring for bargains at Tesco.

Only six months since the last one...

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For one hundred and twenty-nine years McVities’ digestives have been eaten.
They are touted as good for digestion, and their chocolate version cannot be beaten.
Tesco, Doves Farm and Mark and Spencer have all jumped into the...

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It was in my old Cortina
Well you really should have seen her
She was naked as the day that she was born
We had only just begun, we were having lots of fun
When her foot came crashing...

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So why am I always late? Well, I’ll tell you straight
I bought this watch from Tesco (yes, I know it’s not the best co)
But I’ve been short recently, things to do, people to see
Food to...

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PERPETUUM MOBILE

I must go down to the pigging shops again
To Morrison, Tesco, Aldi or maybe Lidl
For I Just went there for the sodding milk in vain

How could I forget! it really is a riddle
To me,...

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The year is galloping at an alarming pace
You want to yell whoa!
Where did spring go?

You feel like you’re riding a runaway horse
Helplessly away from the usual course

Last year didn’t go so fast
Life was just slower...

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