Long Teenie Poems

It took him two trips to set it all up.
He kept it simple just the way 
he thought she'd like it.. 
A basket of fruit and ritz crackers
ham and cheese sandwiches,,,
and her favorite
a giant wedge...

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Offspring between close family members
not biologically fit nor ablest
even if direct immediate relations
consider themselves best
buddies, emotionally intimate, and offload
heavy matters weighing down

on their respective figurative chest,
cuz lurking within brethren and cistern genes,
and/or chromosomes dwell deadliest
nastiest,...

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Overweight Terrier:
   Porky
   Yorkie
Un-cool Terrier:
   Dorky
   Yorkie

Spaniel dog breeder:
   Cocker
   Stocker
Parrot who mimics a Spaniel's bark:
   Cocker
   Mocker
Book on...

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FOOTLES FOR THE BIRDS AND THE BEASTS - 

Bad-ass old bear:
    Grizzly
    Grizzly

Dachshund making critical life choices:
     Eenie
     Weenie...

Cougar from Arizona:
...

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FOOTLES FOR THE BIRDS AND THE BEASTS - 

Bad-*** old bear:
    Grizzly
    Grizzly

Dachshund making critical life choices:
     Eenie
     Weenie...

Cougar from Arizona:
...

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To the tune of "Itsy Bitsy, Teenie Weenie, Yellow, Polka-Dot Bikini"
Dedicated to Nancy Pelosi

Chorus:
She has an itsy bitsy
Teenie weenie
Brain inside her little beanie
And she uses it infrequently

An itsy, bitsy
Teenie weenie brain
We get the heebie jeebies
Whenever...

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Little, little, little,
Tell me how much I need to-
Whittle, whittle, whittle,
Whittle it down, get teeny tiny small-
What's the smallest word you've ever heard?
Or, the smallest thing and its word?
Hey, ancients thought it was sand for...

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It was my first summer job
I didn’t feel quite ready 
but I tossed all hesitation aside
it was time to stretch my wings

I felt lucky and tried to measure up
as summer camp counselor
on this beautiful woodsy...

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Tick Tock
Reachin' for the Clock
Hip Hop 
My mind don't stop

Hand Fan
Coming to a stand
Neat Feat
Wont get from my seat

Strong Long
My body's so wrong
Teenie Tiny 
He looks almighty

Loud Proud
Voices in the clouds
Room Boom
To big to assume

Space...

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Little lamb soft as snow where did your ewey go   
Into the barn to chew her cud, with you and Baby Zoe  
Chalky Talky chew don't mew, what a cutie look at...

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I do not sing any of the new songs. But I can sing Let the Little Girl Dance.
Teen angel, I’m sorry, It’s now or never, everybody’s somebody’s fool.
Alley-oop, itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot...

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I challenged an inchworm to a race,
It turned out to be a big disgrace,
Because I agreed to run at the worm' s pace,
And I finished in last place.

I thought I could outrun that worm,
But oh...

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