Long Stumped Poems

Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

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Limericks III - Grab Bag

Being a peace activist, I once wrote a limerick in an attempt to stop needless wars:

Of Tetley’s and V-2's
(or "Why Not to Bomb the Brits")
by Michael R. Burch

The English are very...

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Date: December  2042

Early afternoon, Damian was 
Busy in his den planning the trip 
To Trinidad. He called CJ first 
To confirm his commitment to
The project. "Hey brother you
Still on for that trip we spoke
About."...

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[Continued from ‘Terror Bugs: Part 2 - A Freezer Mice Adventure’]
__________

London’s streets resembled an al fresco mausoleum 
They tracked a trail of body parts which led to a museum
A thousand Terror Bugs were massed, in...

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Stood I there, that last day,
On an iron bridge...
An aqueduct by design,
Where, looking dreamily out over
The Ernes Lower Lough,
My compressed shadow 
Momentarily paused -
To contently recline:
Amidst coy Junes radiant beams 
of sweet benign!
All was stilled,...

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Limericks IV - Donald Trump

The Hair Flap
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

The hair flap was truly a scare:
Trump’s bald as a billiard back there!
The whole nation laughed
At the state of his graft;
Now the...

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No, I will not say where, but it's not tokyo,                         ...

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for Ronald Hindmarsh-Midwood 
                               ...

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It was a late springtime day, and the bluebirds all were singing,
Outside the classroom window, while the bells all were ringing.

I had a lucky window seat, which afforded quite amazing views,
Of lovely natural colorings, the...

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Cabbage grew ears in a silver basin. How rare! Wow! Exclusive is extremely experienced erotic erogenous errors but tremors can often be counted in the folding, unfolding and refolding of long heavy curtains. A lengthy...

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The sixty-year reunion
of the class of '55
was quite a celebration
for the ones who had survived...

First came prissy Pomeroy-
then Milford, Meeks, and Moody
who like old crows, perched and cawed
at busty old Miss Trudy

While Trudy curled her...

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The new sheriff of Poetry Soup
 Rode into town on a horse named Snoop
 Jan was on his wanted list
 And the gang she did enlist
 In writing lim'ricks about poop
   He found...

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Take your own sweet time, and let others keep time.
Tea for two always ends up in a hell-uv-a bellowing brew ;    
        tea and sympathy...

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Me cars down at the doctors ‘cause there’s trouble with the coil,
and somewhere I’m losing water so once or twice I’ve had it boil.
It needs another set of spark plugs and me mufflers had the...

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POEMS ABOUT SCIENCE 4: BIRTH/EVOLUTION

Simultaneous Flight
by Michael R. Burch

*The number of possible connections [brain] cells can make exceeds the number of particles in the universe. — Gerald Edelman, 1972 Nobel Prize winner for physiology and...

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Limericks V - Politics

Baked Alaskan
by Michael R. Burch

There is a strange yokel so flirty
she makes whores seem icons of purity.
With all her winkin’ and blinkin’
Palin seems to be thinkin’—
"Ah culd save th’ free world ’cause...

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POEMS ABOUT SCIENCE 6: EVOLUTION

Singularity
by Michael R. Burch

Are scientists confounded like the ostrich?
Heads buried in the sand, they shout, *Preposterous!*
This universe, so magical, they say,
proves there’s no God. But let’s look anyway ...

He said, *Let...

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Let bygones be bygones though bygones bite on
Blessed to have had good times it’s life it went wrong
though it hurts good memories
to the end they’ll always be 
my friends and never enemies 
mean the most...

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Mother of Cowards
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

So unlike the brazen giant of Greek fame
With conquering limbs astride from land to land,
Spread-eagled, showering gold, a strumpet stands:
A much-used trollop with a torch, whose...

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ANIMAL COURT

I relate this story from my room in the Quiet Vale Giggling Academy

A reader might find my story hard to believe
BUT!
At one time in my life –
As a matter of fact quite recently –
I...

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The force of my thoughts is a force to report,
Attention, no Deficit, Hyperactive, no Disorder, call it slaughter
when Hyperfocus onslaughts play hocus pocus with my thoughts,
a tornado, a hurricane a monsoon loom and taunt
a brainstorm...

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It was the kind of day you step in front of traffic, then dare fate to fold you up in newspaper headlines.  

Oh dreams came true alright, but you should have dreamed about not...

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Hesitation gets you no where, beware dont go there
thats a violation  punishments annialiation
plant the seed and watch it grow just to get chopped down
 cant be stopped now, welcome ya'll to my pow wow
i...

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*Note:  A 60-year annual tradition that involved a mysterious visitor leaving three 
roses at the grave of writer Edgar Allan Poe on the anniversary of his birthday 
ended in January 2010.  Curators of...

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