Long Squirted Poems

The kid who often was lost in 
The sauce Joshua! His 
 birthday was in June. He became
The strong silent youngster with 
The youngest kids. 
 A small Celebration was held in
Josh's honor party at...

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Taming a tropical topical tree? Taking a trunk? Telling a tailor? Traversing a tale? Many ideas. Much like the ideological dramas of a beach front. Wavelength of winds. Movements if the tides. Coconuts can jump...

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For those who are following this story, here is the next installment. If this is your first time reading, please read the first one and it will help make sense of the story. Thanks for...

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Odyssey from Africa 
Chapter 9b (continued)


And this pattern was repeated 
On the following day's journey 
As the day turned into evening 
They again found rocky shoreline 
 
So once more they hunted shellfish 
This time...

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[To the tune of Ghost Riders In The Sky (loosely)]
                         ...

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Santa Clauses were to be molten and reshaped into Holy Cross bunnies
		             on a mega 3D printer but then the app somehow went...

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At the edge of the town, hidden amongst the trees
Is a nudist camp where folks walk around as they please
They all go about their business strutting their stuff
And as you've probably guessed, they're all in...

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One day and one space bar later an irrational iguana put on a wetsuit and some roller skates and left the house. He met with his friends on the way who were waiting at the...

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Here's another story about Granny
I think she's probably done it all
This was way back during prohibition
When they outlawed alcohol

See, my granny was a moonshiner
This is about her very first still
She had to make sure no...

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these men & women with guns
these hired killers
these individuals who walk with a flag tattooed on their arm
these nationalists by default
these tools of the great military-industrial complex
these robots who get wd-40 squirted on their gears
ever...

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Feint faint "Fake" no nor'easter

If putsch comes to shove,
aye ain't no doggone fraidy cat
nor chicken little
fearing coup d'état,
yours truly simply
risk averse, and more exact,
he stays sequestered
within these four walls,
cuz tis safest inside this flat
always... mein...

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The Fiercest Black Beast That A Knight Once Slew
Dark poetry

Sharp blade penetrated black blood flowed about
Mighty hairy black beast groaned then vomit let out
In a flash I kicked it in the vulnerable spot
Enraged, with all...

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Alan Allston ate an addictive piece of cake.
Bertie bounced his bouncy ball by the bus stop but his brother caught the bouncy ball before the bus came.
Claire, Clara, Chloe and co built a sculpture of...

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What's happened recently I have to tell. (Hiccup)
Wish I could muddle through without a screw-up.
It starts out at a comic show. (Hiccup)
The stand-up doing jokes was such a crack-up 
my laughter turned to choking then,...

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We tried something different this year
A Thanksgiving day buffet
I really like the leftovers though
So I lined my pockets with cellophane

To justify my actions
As I stood in line
With the twenty bucks I was paying  
Would...

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We tried something different this year
A Thanksgiving day buffet
I really like the leftovers though
So I lined my pockets with cellophane

To justify my actions
As I stood in line
With the twenty bucks I was paying  
Would...

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I looked in the window and what did I see? Huma was scissoring with Hillary. 

My, oh my, what some hairy thighs. These beasts were coming right before my eyes.

There titties were a handful and...

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A Cook’s Battle 

The ship -cook was tired it had been a long day, the ship was old 
full of cockroaches, one had found its way in his bread dough and 
when the captain cut...

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Long ago a thunder struck a comet
And its fragments took wings to float
Landed on a village, crossed the bridge
wandered all over, and found a sea
And a ship as well to carry them 
To the land...

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Water was sacred
either as a shower
squirted out of a sprinkler 
on the backyard lawn
to run through and cool us
on hot summer days
or splashed from a font
when making the sign 
of the cross as we entered
St...

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The howls of the wolfs strike the beast beneath the bed it roars 
For it’s the full moon to night Scary of course
The little kid crawls out the bed to go to the toilet that...

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Termite/Whiteant fix

Out in west Queensland,
Lived  a white ant pestered man,
Cos the white ants were attacking ,
Chomping on his house quite grand.
They seemed to love the skirting boards,
And would climb to get in em,
There in...

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Watching the elephants parade nearby.
The glitter began to cascade down.
All the little children waited the call.
The circus had finally come to town.

Clem the clown waltzed in with a broom.
He squirted himself with a bouquet flowers.
Pulling...

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Children were playing inside
With a big tube of glue
It was very bleak outside
And they had nothing else to do
Glue is very sticky
And is handy to stick
Things into a scrapbook
That you used to have to lick

They...

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SAY CHEESE

A block of blue with some scrumptious salad veins.
White american melted over my toasted hot philly
and wizz creatively squirted on crackers entertain.
Stinky limburger a treat — a clothespin-nose silly.

Shredded, sliced or block —
I’ll hide...

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