Long Spotty Poems

A legend of Ireland that lives long and hard through this very day
Is of Jack the widow’s son who took risks that truly did more than pay.
He and his frightened, broke mother were in dire...

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I hate the birth mark under my right eye
I hate my extremely static hair
I hate my big bottom lip
I hate my spotty nose

I hate that I have really *****y times
I hate that people only remember...

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Alien talk I can’t understand
A Pifflewig performed a handstand
He verbalised through his ass
Gross putrid wind he did pass
Like many blokes throughout the land!

I farted, perhaps it was fear
Foul wind was expelled from my rear
The pifflewig...

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One day a placid platypus was playing in a kitchen. He had discovered that there was often much to sort and much to sort was often much fun. Other platypuses did not realise how much...

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John: Sounds like I might like to straddle her equator with my meridian and throw down with a hula hoop on each arm. How soon can I execute my commission?

Mitchell: Do you like to eat...

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Left my computer on 
Grabbed the keys off my desk
Packed up the RV
And we headed out West

We grabbed some snacks
Toys, clothes and some cash
turned out the lights, Fed the pets
Shot out the door, dumped the...

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5/5/21

Woke up groggy
The waters were often choppy
From Del Monte 
Toward Milwaukee
To way beyond Nagasaki
And all across the Mojave
See me in person or hit me up on the Walkie-Talkie
Always been a real one, not no carbon...

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A leopard found a shepherd who was looking after lambs
The shepherd had some sandwiches with different flavour jams
The leopard feeling peckish thought he’d steal one tiny sheep
So he snuck behind the shepherd and that’s when...

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Impeachment is neither a peach, a pullover nor is it a purple plum. And a sanctimonious swan is neither a swamp spinning yarn nor a spotty sporty spade. Ok then. Paste and post but not...

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"...The Secret of the Golden Flower is not only a Taoist text of Chinese yoga but also an alchemical tract. (...) it was the text of The Golden Flower that first put me in the...

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Season of dream haze and arctic signpost.
Chill and chap brood whose scattered offspring plummet thermal values as welcome mat for “whiskered” chimney guest awash with bounty.
Thief of sun filled days without a twinge but that...

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As the days turn to years and the now becomes the then of the past
I watch you blossom and become the person you were always meant to be
My head spins as i think of our...

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W?rdz sp?ld k?'r?kt 'v?rs?s f?'n?t?k'sp?l??

alternately titled fun with phonics
'?lt?rn?tli 'ta?t?ld f?n w?ð 'f?n?ks
analogous when like first learning how to spell American English words

?'næl?g?s w?n la?k f?rst 'l?rn?? ha? tu sp?l ?'m?r?k?n '??gl?? w?rdz

I thought to...

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The solace of home has dissipated like the charmed fog of Brigadoon
Tensing up to swim with sharks, from my deep sadness…
Please may I curl up and hibernate until I see my family again?
My heart is...

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"The forest is a sanctuary where you can grow to be you," ... by the Poet.

The passing of a torch, when Spring was announced, 
was noted in the melting quarter of winter memories, as a...

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Clusters of refugee bubbles
         Expelled from the side of my tank
         Rise expanding in upward travels 
  ...

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Twas the night before Christmas and I was a gasp
    at the rumors that filled me with an odious fright.
For Santa Claus was now tired of working for free
   ...

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Upon a whim arising on this sunny springtime morn
hearing birds perform their songs at the crack of dawn
my knapsack packed already with a tasty picnic lunch
bread with cheese and wine
oh such a scrumptious tasty brunch
so...

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While riding home after having beer, two, 
a friend of ours ended up covered in poo.
He was tipsy and feeling quite queasy,
for an old man, he got drunk very easy.

In the back seat waited his...

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It’s there in the darkest corner of his room 
there where he takes off his shoes and socks and just leaves them
the place that his Mom said that she is going to leave as is...

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Oh, come inside this head,
And see the buzzing brain,
Observe the urgent tread,
The product of much pain.

Inside this head you'll see
The Leader of the parts-
And, the seat of irony,
For it hasn't any smarts.

This brain controls the...

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sing a long now la la la la la
A thermometer dash through an eighteenth century painting is said to be as exciting as a needle sewing on a fifty foot blanket. But wearing shoes on...

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On a spotty, sprinkled day, at the Plott's house on the block,
A squatty Uncle Scotty had sent a polka dotted,  cuckoo clock!
The family said "That's handy!", and found a spot upon a shelf
For the...

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got to the station before the tank became empty
the gauge had been falling for quite some time
need a replacement  with a turbo valve which is a trendy
get rid of this old  pump which...

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My beautiful flower garden 
high up in the sky
is my penthouse apartment 
overlooking the sea
With balconies facing 
in every direction
and wonderful views 
that set my soul free

In ornamental pots 
of various sizes 
I grow roses
hydrangeas
and...

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