Long Sez Poems

Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

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Limericks III - Grab Bag

Being a peace activist, I once wrote a limerick in an attempt to stop needless wars:

Of Tetley’s and V-2's
(or "Why Not to Bomb the Brits")
by Michael R. Burch

The English are very...

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Limericks IV - Donald Trump

The Hair Flap
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

The hair flap was truly a scare:
Trump’s bald as a billiard back there!
The whole nation laughed
At the state of his graft;
Now the...

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Oi be nowt but an auld country hick,
we a liddle bit of gall, an a lotta stick.
Oi baint niver afeared to speak me mind,
nor critizise folks harshly iffen Oi find
zummit I don’t loik.  Tis...

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Five rings for fifty-one again and once more winning brings,
another pot of loser’s beer for throwing rubber rings.
That’s twenty-seven ‘freebies’ in a row, so by now it looks
like I’m the bloke who changed the record...

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-LAST DAYS OF OLD BEN-


    “See that man up there on the mountain, son?”
“Yeah Pop, why’s he a’jes sittin there starin’ out at nuthin?"
 Well, son it ain’t nothin’ he’s seein’…Just nuthin...

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Trump poems and epigrams V

The prez should be above the law, he sez,
even though he’s no longer prez.
—Michael R. Burch



Mercedes Benz
by Michael R. Burch

I'd like to do a song of great social and political import....

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He always got a Fantastic Four story to tell,
like how yesterday
        he Stretch saved 
all those people from dying
When he ran into the Torch-ed, burning building
		  ...

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Alpha Pistols
It’s a nice warm summer’s evening in 2004
The cool man was on top of the Manchester tower block
He fires down with various guns at his lower targets
There is a builders yard two hundred metres...

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That goofball husband of hers brought her to this joint to see her get drunk for the very first time. She actually plugged her nose trying to sip her first glass of beer. Good grief....

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I hate wearing flamin’ suits and I hate wearing rotten ties, 
but if eating in a ‘glitzy’ restaurant, then I have to realize,
I can’t go wearing shorts and singlets or my best pair of thongs,
and...

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Brandin

I's jist gots back frum Y-OM_UN
An wents ta sees ma son un 'is wife
Thay war waitin fur a call ta goes helps a frien
An thays jist throwed me un.

Ut war un tha Kansas plains
Un thay...

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Some sez m a loss caz, I contain ta many flaz
Just becaz m not subjec to ya lawz.

Lizen t ma speech, m hear ta preach 
Ma wordz, well byond ya reach
Wot ya hearan iz more...

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CHECK    OUT    THE    CHECKOUT

(Two checkout girls having a tete-a-tete 
as customers pass through with their groceries)

Beep….That’s   $35:67.  Do you collect the elephant tokens?...

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Ah war out a walkin
Ut war a Sunday morn
Mah chores war all did
Warn't no need fer me et home

Ah walks along tha river
What does goes by er place
Hearin tha crickets singin
Un watchin dragonflies un tha...

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My speech ain’t elegantly refined,
my words don’t dress up none too properly
Simply cloth words with no aristocratic design,
just plain, unassuming ghetto vocalese
Though I’m very familiar with
the Queen’s English tutorial
I don’t engage much in heavy conversation
that’s...

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Archie A. Agag, the American Idol Kaiser
Be hiding in an underground concrete bunker
Closed-eyed hate peeper sleepy late-riser
Dreaming of a bottom end H-bomb dumpster
Enter the REM meltdown maelstrom at every kiosk money mall
F-18's flying overhead the...

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Just as eating too much cake 
will give you a bellyache,
genuine con is always real fake

An artful eye can chiseler tell
if Mona Lisa’s smile ain’t original
Forged truth ring alarm bells,
imitation lip-sync is the trip signal

Ducky...

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Grampie Zach got bone saw breath,
he cut tight lips no slack
"All dung buggy complaints," his wrinkled hand pointedly sez,
“Take it to the 
sphincter hole out back!”
That’s the true-true

Atillicus Z
blow an elephantine pair of grouse bagpipes
Buckaroos...

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footnotes

im tryina finish another 20 page chapbook

this is the first part of 2 of what i got so far because its too long for 1

then sneak is thin
an inch is in
transition is trinsition

Riverside

1 The Watchtower

Embryos...

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Copyright 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Poetic Lyrics By Thomas Lam Hsi


THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUE GOD!




Earth Gurlz...R...EZ...2-B...OR NOT! 2-B...OR NOT!
An-cient 1...SEZ...NOT...NOT...2-B...NOT!

SWE-P? WE SAY...SLE-P! WE SAY...SLE-P!

An-cient 1...SEZ...WE...R...NOT! WE...R... NOT!
OIL...TO FOIL! He sez...OIL...TO FOIL!

OIL...TO FOIL! OIL...TO FOIL! 
Earth...

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Too much intervention, by ground shifting machines
To devlop some windpower, a results being seen
The crayfish are threatened, the flow rate impaired
As its ecology is battered, for some millions they dare.'
Yes there's cash in the offing,...

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When I  be out cuttin mye graiss befo,
Duh Lawd gimmie a sign.
Least ways iffin hit wus not duh Lawd
Maybe sumpthin else, cause
Duh Lawd He don’t want no body
usin His name fur a laiff.
So I...

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There’s a high-class hobo drifter
bumming rides throughout the land
Grip the Grifter ... 
watch it society women, don’t shake his hand!
If Grip get a hold of your purse money,
he ain’t letting go
Grip talks fast
Grip remembers slow
Yesterday...

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