Long Prophylactics Poems

I feel in führer rated and envious...

entrapped within webbed wide world
weft as a rump pulled stilts skein
at warp speed exhibiting
my heroic trumpian wiles
cuz he (johnny come lately) a then 
exemplary hedonist, narcissist, 
and polygamist dons
comical,...

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Harriet Harris née Kuritsky...

Despite being a nineteen year old bride
she wed Boyce Brandon Harris
half a decade her senior,
(where I ranked less than a twinkle in their eyes)
during the month of June 1955, 
not quite half...

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Stricken with turbulence at about seventy two inches

Yours truly issuing a deafening rebel yell
bursting forth with such might
courtesy cooking under pressure
analogous to volcanic upswell,
forcing me quickly to flap vestigial wings
(at the speed of sound)
while simultaneously...

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Espousing irreverent greed

Crafted one year ago today
yours truly – hopefully self plagiarism okay
worse case scenario, 
I would meet ill fate re: kenway
named after Assassin Creed 
Black Flag's protagonist. 

"Yo, I totally Kenwayed that guy." 
by...

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Harriet Harris circa November 13th, 1935 - ~ May 4th, 2005

untimely death sentence ordained 
approximately six months prior 
to mother dearest celebrating 
her seventieth birthday,
though the last three years of her life
impacted courtesy hysterectomy
to remove...

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Harriet Harris née Kuritsky circa November 13th, 
1935 - ~ May 4th, 2005
(untimely death sentence ordained ~ early February 1935)

I trot out a poem acknowledging birthday
of dear ole mom, who succumbed, 
lost lease on life
nearly...

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Espousing irreverent greed

Passive stance, but aye agreed
and did promise to pledge troth
faster than greased lightning airspeed
once the missus temporarily
ceased menarche regarding monthly bleed
became in family way with child
thee eldest, whom one day may breed,
when permanently...

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Argh... the bane of daylight savings time – November 3rd 2024

Hour hands clock back
sixty minutes of Autumn
round about same of month
every year, what a bummer,
an inconvenient truth
diverged from this chum
purposelessly manipulating
hold over yesteryear doth drum
sensation...

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Harriet Harris circa November 13th, 1935 - ~ May 4th, 2005
(untimely death sentence ordained ~ early February 1935)

Test teasing prophylactics embarrassing
purchase never made at local drugstore
unsurprisingly, obviously, invariably...
birth control taboo subject, best to ignore
subsequently intercourse...

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How come they call it Labor Day when nobody works?
And why Pool-Table?  Where's the diving board?  the water?
How can you play "Draw-Poker" without paper and pencil?
Do Negroes really have bigger knees?
And Flashlight: A...

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The regressive Supreme Court decision
hustled, proclaimed, and voiced
June 24th, 2022
immediately quashing pro choice option,
struck down constitutional right
(upheld for half a century -
formerly allowing, enabling and providing
the muliebrous population
access to secure and safe abortion)
and sent a...

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no emotionally ecstatic experience compares 
   to the seminal instance 
   whence spermatozoa 
   (from profuse ejaculation) beget

the miraculous propensity 
   to procreate despite the steep odds...

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Valentine's Day 2021

Yours truly not necessarily
romantic fellow at heart
more accurately methinks myself
lame and inadequate sorry excuse
for reasonably rhyming spouse,
but courtesy after sipping

(née - chugging away
like snorting caboose)
Welch's sparkling white grape juice
maybe accompanied with entree couscous
generic...

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Do it without trying
Begin by swinging from chandeliers when home
Wear matching multicolored harlequin costumes
Equip yourselves with harmonicas and bazookas
Keep lubricants and trampolines near by for safety
Practice lunar landings in your room

Resume your activities in the...

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The second time was three years later,
when my cousin called me ‘hater,’
she had gone and got pregnant, see,
despite only being eighteen.
The father had, of course, skipped out,
she claimed,”I don’t need him anyhow!
I am just fine...

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Neighborhood rapists look at you from a distance
Twisted degenerates filled with poison in the mind
Drooling from the mouth, big and fat and limping
A cast on the ugly leg, fornicators, scratching private parts

They want to take...

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Clearly this is not a scheduled flight
A rhinoceros is falling from the sky
Outer space is no place for rhinos
Traveling nearly at the speed of light
We have no right to question why
This animal is not made...

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