How To Do It

Do it without trying Begin by swinging from chandeliers when home Wear matching multicolored harlequin costumes Equip yourselves with harmonicas and bazookas Keep lubricants and trampolines near by for safety Practice lunar landings in your room Resume your activities in the great outdoors Do sex in a car when speeding Bring a partner or spare tire if desired Avoid police if so inclined Drive eighty miles an hour at all times Watch out for sharp curves if they object Narrow mountain roads are watching Keep one eye on the road while inserting Headlights and moon glow set the mood Never use puppets when in an auto Open highways are open to suggestion Mating should only occur in flight Eat oysters raw when in the air Climb to greater heights by sneezing Use Airplanes for best results Jump from wing to wing Wear a parachute and a pirates patch Use only one to avoid catastrophes Take lessons from cartoons To find out who you are Leave farm animals and zoo creatures alone Plants and vegetables are out of the equation Milking a cow is taboo too… Don't do it! Wear rubber gloves if you must Position yourselves to be lazy In opposite directions as instructed Never have sex face to face Back to back is better Jump on the bed for comfort Apparatuses are optional for you and amateurs Avoid them at all cost They cost too much Watch out for babies! (They snore) Never run them over of course It's against the law And down right crazy Such activity could lead to divorce Pregnancy can be fun Instructions are on the dashboard But first you must buy or rent a car Before you floor it -Final Notice- (*Don't use balloons as prophylactics) (Too many colors can cause distractions)