Long Peeves Poems

Mine courtship and marriage with deadly obsession...

As September daze will soon arrive
recollections from a 
psychologically checkered  past
loom large recalling  
tragic storied days of mein kampf.

Circa early nineteen seventies:
As a mere slip of a...

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I was forever losing things, and my laughing friends called me a klutz,
Like darker skies misplace buttery sun, when a severe storm develops.

I had once lost the keys to my house, and waited locked out...

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Mine courtship with deadly obsession(s)
still indelibly scored within 
windmills of my mind
this July 22nd, 2020.

Imagine yours truly post pubescence
(no matter ye never met me)
all that life in front of me
argh... precious time squandered
abustle with rattle...

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Dear SafeLink Customer,
(one of the many recipients includes me).

The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) announced that the Affordable Connectivity Program (ACP) is ending, and April 2024 will be the last fully funded month for your benefits...

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The future unfolds and it gets a little more clearer
We fell out of place the moment the mirror reflected our face
Your advice is not needed, so let my heart jump and let its joyousness appear
We...

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Huge life like mockup 
rigged up to bark
dare buzzfeed outsize monstrosity
diet coke, McDonald's and meatloaf
pet banality, execrable, and misogynistic words
greets visitors at formerly named
Mosquito State Park forever known as
Donald Trump State Park.

Whom so e'er decreed...

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While Shuttered Up Inside... ©ozy
Snug Air Conditioned Demesne...

Analogous to my boyhood
     cosseted and bereft, I assay
to poetically elucidate how majority
     of mine years found me
  ...

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How are you going to do it?
How do you weigh the Infinite?
How do you measure the Absolute?
How do you test the IQ of Omniscience? 

Would you measure God for a suit?
Would you ask His age,or...

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The Conference at Mantua

Ah, what a scene of tranquil learnedness! 
The scholars nurse their tomes like babes in arms: 
white locks: heads cocked to savor the address 
of Pius, in his charming Latin: balm 

floats...

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brings world word ii gunnery duty 
   as extremely frightful flashback
   which utterly displeases this elderly mortal 
   and such behavior moi aback!
 
Born in this same house 
 ...

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Please don't ask  me to mince my words
If you talk crap I'll call you all  turds.
I'll say how it is, I'll make no bones,
I'm not a believer of glossed over tones.

You've been hired...

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I can't imagine what goes through a girls mind,
As she lives grows and encounters the blues,
Looking for prince charming in the nick of time,
To carry her off on a journey that begins with two.

Most guys...

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Everybody has them - whether they admit it or not.
Sometimes they're the same - as what others have got.
Whether it's a lack of communication - or not getting a word in edgewise.
Pretending to be someone...

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The pet peeves of a female tow truck driver

Please don’t hit on me
I’m here to tow your car
Not to date you

Don’t pass me your phone number folded up in cash 
I won’t call you 
EVER

Being...

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Here's some things that really irk me
They must irk some of you guys too
Loaded baskets in those Express Lanes
My face turns a scarlet hue

Imagine the gall of some irksome drivers
Doing fifty in a fifty mile...

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Written: May 09, 2024

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Acquiring a partner soul entails a careful dive,...

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One of my biggest pet peeves in the world 
When I was in sixth grade was that Mrs. Tuttle
allowed Danny Kridelcome to shout out answers
But if I did it she chopped off my head with...

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How about when stores jack up their prices
Then reduce them and call it a sale
I've been on to these devious practices for years
Their attempt to bamboozle us has failed

Annoying commercials that treat us like morons
As...

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How about when stores jack up their prices
Then reduce them and call it a sale
I've been on to these devious practices for years
Their attempt to bamboozle us has failed

Annoying commercials that treat us like morons
As...

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You are an enchanting cynosure
Beyond my naked eyes could see;
An unbounded briny exposure
Where tiny drops assemble sea;
Unpretentious blustery waves
Evolve from phenomenal ripples;
Flowing endless murmur cripples
Heart deep embedded peeves.

Tuneless prayers by lonely seamen
Resonate in salty humid...

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I had just woken up feeling great
like I barely had gained any weight.
But not so says my scale!!
The despair I can't quell.
So I go pile more food on a plate.

Next, the car on a side...

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Know me?
          Not even close ...
     If I were to write about ANYone that I had "issues" with

It would be to them...

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An Unwanted Guest

Morning, noon, and night you hang around,
at our house you can always be found.
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner you heartily partake
helping yourself to the choicest goodies we make.  
On our recliner you relax...

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Here's some of my favourite pet peeves
Construction, potholes, and speed bumps
A bald person with a bad fitting hair piece
Or soup with unidentified lumps

Public washrooms that stink to high heaven
Or when someone sneezes nine times
People that...

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(Verse 1)
Gathered in an antique bowl
All the letters from their joyful life
Kneeling like prayer, she’ll stoke the fire
She’ll burn the words, they are for her alone

(Chorus)
Like unwritten pages..
Hopes, cries, dreams, sighs
Will flow out, debris after...

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