Long Mortician Poems

Raid versus woe

Black flag(s) show up
on social media platforms
when potential homicidal maniac(s)
communicate(s) intent to strike
with ambush and ready
read - able, eager, and willing
to embark upon murderous rampage.

Prospective killer armed to the teeth
usually a young bucking...

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"Some Grave Humor for Monday Mourning"   Posted 5 Apr 2021
take note: if you don't go to your friend's funerals      they won't go to yours

some think our cemetery is...

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Psychopath definition: A mentally ill or unstable person. A person who engages in antisocial behavior and exhibits a pervasive disregard for the rights, and feelings, and safety of others.
 Serial killer: Performing a series of...

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Gun owners indiscriminately brandish
loaded firearms toward innocent victims,
and concomitantly excite
purported in accordance
with first amendment, relish
yet proliferation allowing
free ranging banshee dervish
sans weapons of mass destruction
(mainly innocent lives)
inures citizens to appear off fish
U.S., and self-important
becoming comfortably numb
at...

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Pinkerton's mortician is the richest man in town...despite the fact, the story goes, despite the day he'd came
Ridin' in from Badger Holler - dressed in filthy rags - lookin' for a meal without a penny...

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Paul had a near-death experience,
one of the most incredible ones...
he visited Heaven: the place of bliss!
And as he climbed the gold stairway,
he heard many familiar voices he had
known in the previous life...they happily
chanted glorifying God,...

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Automobile prohibitive maintenance costs
pitches me pitifully begging for alms
lamenting dog forsaken
melon collie unpleasant circumstances
pleading with outstretched palms
disgraced to beg, perhaps donate
major organ and/or entire body

to ease vehicular qualms
aha... methinks the missus could pose
as ventriloquist after...

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With a 7-Eleven Big Cup eulogy slurp
And a McDonalds Big Mac pall bearer burp,
it’s Big Boy Slim Jim holiday mourning time
Take a family reunion picnic funeral ride
	to a cemetery last supper barbeque burial ...
shovel down...

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Dueling Americans
love drawing blood from a distance
Crossing swords with their dogma guns ... 
a test of mettle:
Who will bow first
to the pressure building in their lungs
Bipedal zip-lip back-to-back walkers,
bivalve mollusk closed-minded talkers
Fifty paces then turn......

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In the late 1800’s working a trade well-meant
I was considered different to my sorrow and detriment
I thought about changing, to reinvent
But, as “Ranger” (that’s me) I was content
I was a mortician by trade (not held...

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At the beginning of my shift at Like Home Inclusive Care,  I always check in on Miss Rosa first. I usually check her vitals and get her ready for her breakfast.
She was one of...

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Soo surprising
my god
Its never black and white
they are all frauds
the medium says you can tell me something
but what does the crystal ball really have to say?
a key to the fairytale and something you...

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A football star with super speed,
Our prom king, Kyle, has gone to seed.
No longer likely to succeed,
He's out of work and hooked on weed.

Behind you's Jennifer, the one
Who led our cheers and planned our fun.
Most...

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exclamation, which does nothing to stem dead locked high tide   
     proliferation of high-powered assault bazookas 
     manned by berserk cruel death eaters, 
 ...

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Even with death
The Man’s gotta bargain a price

So I suppose that’s why that fat a** mortician
As a sales technique
Made my wife and I pick who gets to sit
From the one available chair
In his lavender lobby
For...

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a mystery in the forums
and you have no clue
what has he done?
has he done to you?

just play along and realise its me
I'll pull it out of my pocket
wink at you right now
lead you...

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I.

O Bacchanalia! O wild Mania,                              
...

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MALICE IN BLUNDERLAND
New born babies are being brutalized by a bastion of bastards and b*****s
S**t I couldn’t do that if I were offered untold riches
All the money in the world couldn’t motivate me to commit...

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...The days went by, and not that much changed,
Black Ken’s gang ruled with orders deranged,
bled people’s coin, every day the same,
and I could just stand by and look.

And when they seemed to grow bored with...

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Mr. Butcher, the undertaker, did a capital job of laying old Cheatum out,
Though he had to cram him in the casket since the senator was rather stout!
During the viewing, folks marveled at Mortician Butcher's cosmetic...

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talked a lot of trash
up and coming ogden nash
hit on Broadway big smash

read my book on math
know that I need a nice bath
to it found a path

rode in a cute coach
which is where she lost...

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THE LIFE OF DEATH

              B                 ...

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Battle Rap


...poet in da house...


Now have a listen, for I’ll be a kissing…I’m on a mission
And you’ll be a pissing your hemolysin…a smelly emission
My words glisten worth the admission…full of ammunition
You’re under submission a life...

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I found him lying on his bed,
hair tousled and with a sweet smile.
I realized that he was dead.
I knew this was no show of guile.
A lifeless shell fueled with faith
betrayed a muted mask of wraith.

Though...

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What be Ye, Preacher or Mortician?

A mortician prepares and buries the remains.
The hole he or she digs is for a lifeless corps, free of soul.
And the eulogy is of poppies and the utterance of past...

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