Long Kale Poems

I retired a couple years ago
and decided to take a gardening class
because otherwise I probably would starve
even with food stamps,
given my retirement plan
was mainly to live off my still-freeloading adult perpetual-children.

This gardening class cost more...

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My coping method fraught with utmost futility thus...

My professional treatment plan
predicated upon duress in extremis
hence Electroconvulsive therapy,
a last ditch effort I avail
and surrender self qua
to shock the monkey (me)
one (twenty first century)
obstinate bipedal hominid turncoat
optioned,...

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The new sheriff of Poetry Soup
 Rode into town on a horse named Snoop
 Jan was on his wanted list
 And the gang she did enlist
 In writing lim'ricks about poop
   He found...

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(tongue in cheek
by this moldering geek.)

Thy marriage doth incurably ail,
even strangers would vouchsafe
     (with nary any cavil),
     and perhaps even avail
herself (sight unseen),
    ...

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Part 2
Now they had to get revenge 

They crawled through the night
the ground frozen from days without sun
to the place where she had gone,
her human skin not strong enough to live in the cold
her mind...

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Thar was nae richt ae laddie sair
wha heft a cave 'side Galloway,
wi' nae jaiken he griftit dare
as he was nae tae lippen tae.

Ill-naitur'd  fishwife he haud in wi',
the twa 'greed tae gang the'gither.
She haud...

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Gratitude suffuses me today
at prospect to plumb the depths
of a fledgling friendship
(respecting fidelity to wife)
even one bound 
within the parameters of cyberspace,
I feel courtesy your amazing grace
figuratively stitching omnipotent binding
with virtual satin and lace
proceeding cautiously...

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Sending the tending to an unfriended ending,
 yet somehow suspending from rending a newly offending recommending.
Logotype monotype linotype,
overripe stereotype,
 teletyped an unripe heliotype. 
Guttersnipe snipe,
 stipe snipe ripe,
 a wipe type a tripe, 
unleash a...

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A for Ahira not an Apple was found at the tree of life, Sustain ate Manna;
B for Band bananas Black beans in stride;
C for Corianders and Cocoyam's flown in from the skies, sustain ate Manna;
D...

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Bendy old whales taste like snails doing a backflip. But swarms of over eighty nine peonies are closely followed by nine bulls, an elephant tribe, a beetle colony and a party of laughing butterflies. Whose...

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it is one of those dinners
leaning in the doorway, she is working
to her, this is a simple one
spaghetti ala Carbonara
she explains it to me as she processes
pancetta is meat from pork belly 
salt-cured in black...

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Night and day, a thrashing
     like an invisible whiptail
surge van hail,
doth swell me bosom
     excruciatingly, doggedly blackmail
capriciously be-numbingly,
     aggravatingly assail
mine conscience in

 ...

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My three sweet boys passed within one year, 
          a Golden Retriever, white fluffy bunny and a Pug.
When I think of each memory I still wipe...

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Part 1
Summer days turned to winter
wind chilling each who dared to venture
out into the cold days and night 
the ones that robbed us of our warm sun and 
days of fun.

The vegetables were dying
starving for...

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We love our silly Grazillas,
Who eat chocolate ice cream because they don't like vanilla.
They prefer lumpy pillas,
As they nap under the willas.
They eat salt by the pillas,
And watch only chinchillas.
They prefer to work as millas,
They...

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Okay let me get this straight from nothing everything came out of the sea
Uniqueness being a common trait I don't see how this could be
Crickets, to the chicken on your plate and what about the...

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Saturday Farmers’ Market 

Here’s how it goes at our Farmers’ Market:
shoppers all ages, clothing, and races,
parents push bundled babies in strollers, 
children dash eagerly through the crowd. 
Others meander to and fro, seeking 
new food...

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8 cups of shredded cabbage
5 cups of chopped kale
4 cups of shredded cooked pork (pork roast)
15 peeled and parboiled potatoes( cooked about 20 minutes in salted water)
1 one quart can of peeled tomatoes(drained)
10 slices of...

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A portly partridge, a kale coloured koala and a lecherous lion were climbing up a snow covered precipice in a first gear shake. The beating of the engine spike of deathly chills and the iced...

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The ABCs of Things Green

Algae, alligator, artichoke, asparagus, aphids, Andradite,
Brussels sprouts, broccoli, Buffalo Treehopper, and beans,
Cuckoo Wasp, Cabbage, cucumber, Common Green Darner, and celery 
Dog Day Cicada, Delphinium flowers diopside and dioptase, (rocks),
Emeralds, eyes, endive,...

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Resolved was I to exercise,
To utmost try to slenderize.
From flabby bod I'd poundage peel
To Grecian god beneath reveal.

But soon my straining torso frail
Becomes complaining, moaning male.
I parts exert unused for years,
Resulting hurt benumb with beers.

To...

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What have you done, for you look like a perch?
On Botox you should've done some research
I won't sugarcoat it
You look very bloated
Your face is engorged, and some will besmirch

Resembling a puffer with puckered lips
I wanna...

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Grew up in a sheltered home
Quiet and alone

Tales of immortality
Wasting days she breathed

Livin’ for tomorrow
Never for today

Should’ve seen it comin’ 
but she wasn’t taught to see

grew up in a sheltered home
quiet and alone

should’ve seen it...

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A is for Avocado, the creamy, green nutritious fat.
B is for Berries, the fruit that keeps your tummy flat.
 
C is for Chia, most nutrient-dense of all the seeds.
D is for Dandelion - it's more...

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