My Coping Method Fraught With Utmost Futility Thus

My coping method fraught with utmost futility thus... My professional treatment plan predicated upon duress in extremis hence Electroconvulsive therapy, a last ditch effort I avail and surrender self qua to shock the monkey (me) one (twenty first century) obstinate bipedal hominid turncoat optioned, aye bewail as desperation if standard psychological measures peter out leaving nothing but pall tree (paltry) choice, and to be frank and/or ernest if necessary to blackmail either Doctor Demento or Doctor Frankenstein, not out of the question, cuz accidental discover re: less than credit worthy visa vis could yield (ahem) grave zero APR, hence bad (bon Jovian) medicine shot thru the heart sought as precautionary measure for measure to countervail undesirable repercussions paralyzed with panic attacks hoop fully intervention doth curtail any unexpected train of thought kept on track and not to derail, thus every nitty gritty detail, asper my treatment plan made purposely amenable courtesy cooperation Matthew Scott Harris, every aspect must absolutely dovetail with The Elements of Style or hew very close to strictures of Strunk and White, or similar facsimile thereof, anyway strict requirements quality controlled with results tubby sent as easy to read email encryption avoided to scotch flummoxing which ain't so daunting a task, whose basic simplicity did not take up max (imam) headroom, nevertheless said minimalistic approach rooted in advanced mathematics feigned as hair brained scheme didst entail hatching with Sam I am (of Doctor Zeus fame)... Oh...My...G___ gadzooks no failsafe recourse, should shell shocking Electroconvulsive therapy even slip up an infinitesimal jot offsetting requisite exactly predicted results yes, even if precision errs by a mere clipped fingernail... the sought after outcome (devised on the fly - by night Reddit writer above named author) who will most certainly flail like some GMO gone awry (if patient accidentally got electrocuted) finding him to become instantaneously petrified and frail looking analogous to witnessing healing powers wrought courtesy iconic legendary Holy Grail humble gray cup used by Jesus at the Last Supper if tightly gripped stronghold slackened shattering into a bajillion pieces, whereby the heavens, would rain baseball size hail scaring every last man, woman, and child to hightail suddenly materializing gendarmes donned in heavy duty boots studded with many a hobnail stamping out duff feet, sans long arm of law and order standing ramrod straight on their heels, and if any scapegoats nabbed definitely consigned to jail subsisting on thin gruel and kale the latter packaged at hydroponics plant in Lansdale without chance of parole to prevail wardens instill fright even most macho prisoner quail no matter innocence their fate sealed he/his, she/hers might possibly be free to sail to some tropical island awash with carbon copies of Euell Gibbons doppelganger, hawking, munching, touting... many pine tree parts as edible when Alpine mountains beckon forth to scale.