Long In full Poems
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I cannot comprehend our great Creator’s mind,
how every galaxy he perfectly designed -
how every atom in the universe is his,
ordered and known by him, as all creation is.
No eye has ever seen, no ear has ever heard,
no mind ever conceived the secrets known
to him alone.
No mind can fully grasp the myst'ry of your ways -
joyful the heart that trusts and gladly renders praise
for such an awesome love that sent your Son to die.
How could that love extend to sinners such as I?
I may not ever know why you would choose to show
your grace to sinful man – though once concealed,
through Christ revealed.
Unworthy are my words your glory to express;
loosen my tongue O Lord, your praises to profess.
Though we don’t know in full, we know enough to trust
that you are perfect, wise, all-loving, good, and just.
No eye has ever seen, no ear has ever heard,
no mind ever conceived the secrets known
to you alone.
"...as it is written, no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him - but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit"
~ I Corinthians 2:9-10
Written 7 Nov 2005
I loved loud.
Not in volume —
in intensity.
In showing up.
In remembering the little things you forgot you ever said.
In texts at 2am because I couldn’t sleep
without making sure you were okay.
I loved in playlists.
In forehead kisses.
In “did you eat today?”
and “text me when you get home.”
I loved in the way I bent
to fit the shape of your storms.
Let them pour through me
and still called it sunshine.
And you —
You smiled,
like you liked it.
Like you wanted to be chosen that hard.
Until you didn’t.
Until my love
started feeling like pressure.
Like too much.
Like a weight
you couldn’t carry
because you never planned on holding it that long anyway.
I loved too much.
Too deeply.
Too fully.
But what the hell is “too much”
when you’re giving someone everything
and hoping they stay?
Too much should be enough.
But instead,
you got quiet.
Started backing away
like my love was a fire
and you were just close enough to feel the warmth,
but not enough to burn.
And I?
I caught fire.
I turned myself to ash
trying to make you comfortable.
I apologized
for being the girl who gave a damn.
For loving in full color
When you only wanted grayscale.
So now I sit here
With this heart that still beats too loud
In a world that wants it quiet.
And I wonder…
What do you do
with a love that was never wrong,
just too much
for someone
who never planned
on staying?
The clouds are rolling and the rivers are flowing
The birds are singing and the bells are ringing
I have come to this place to unite the human race
But some people have overstepped the boundaries
And have gone past their places and get entwined
in another phase. I have witnessed the sun and the
moon crossing path in the middle of the dark and
the wind mesmerizing and singing a bountiful hymn
One cast plays the tune for the man that is coming
From the moon. You cannot trust the moon walkers
and the sky stalkers who take rocks to the moon
and pour water on ships to prove that there is water
to swim. Why do you want to seize power in an hour?
When I have spent forty years researching rocks and
Water on the moon, you are space copycat and
And a secret conniving rat
There is a solace in the moon that is taking shape
And moving towards the middle of gate,
The big band is playing the New Orleans jazz sound
And the visitors are moving around,
They are walking up down Kitchen Street
And looking for something to eat
They are showing off their cultural clout
And walking around with a nasty frown
I have not seen a parade since I got here
And the dancers and hookers have disappeared
There is nothing to share and the rum is drying up
And the people are running around with much fuss
I can tell that the end is near and the mountains
will soon disappear, victory will be on the run
And we will have the much needed fun
Bad men will get up and run and hand over their
guns, the fussy cussy people will run away
And the music will slowly fade away
The streets will left bare and empty and
Shops will hold on to their misery
The town will shake in the middle of the night
and the wind will blow in full magnitude
And a new energy will flow through the miserable town
I will board the plane and fly away in the middle of the day
I can see the seagulls dancing around on the shores
endorsing the creeps with their long beaks
Busting it up from the ocean floor
The ice is melting and ocean fish is surfacing
Multitudes of then appears from the bottom of the ocean.
Flipping and flopping on the dry land and walking hand in hand
That is the way they meet.
10.8
“For how many lifetimes
have you done hard and painful labor
with body, mind and speech?
It is time to stop”
Ah! This entreaty
It has this ring of compassionate divinity
Emanating from a true seer moved by our plight
Enmeshed in delusion oblivious to the light
We are already free but we choose to indulge in illusion
We know our conscience is real but are addicted to delusion
Fear of freedom keeping us bound
So we reincarnate again & again upon this ground
The reality is simple in that we co-create
A partner in crime with the ego that agitates
Misaligning our attention blocking the divine connection
Reclaimable instantly in stillness of meditation
(20-August-2021)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Verse revisited on 01-November-2021
Shhh! Read this one and pause
For it is wisdom discerning the cause
Of our suffering, feeling of incompleteness
Arising from wayward stuporousness
Truth this: we are not mind -body
Fears and desires shoddy
Let’s admit we have a split personality
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde rotating in continuity
Ego driven lower mind fuels cravings of the flesh
Spiralling thought forms that freedom enmesh
Whilst conscience whispers love vibrations
If we listen, we awaken bliss sensations
Silence and stillness shows us the way
In tranquil thought rested awareness we pray
Oscillations slow down, vibrant is our soul presence
We reclaim innate innocence and luminescence
Empty mind body vessel, with love resonates
Each node within form, to bliss gyrates
We are a receptor and God the doer
The doing is all done so let’s move slower
We are as He so in truth there is no separation
Reality of oneness recognised in deep meditation
Oh hermit, this dream life is a reflected reality
Womb of silence reveals truth in clarity
Path simple; just align head with heart
When desires cease, bliss ignition does start
Consciousness is then in but yet not of the world
As moment by moment we see bliss unfurled
We shine in full glory as the living light
Obtaining by grace, spherical sight
What I'd like to give you, is an ounce of my perfume
in hopes the familiar fragrance will remind you of me
You once told me I smell like a magnolia in full bloom
That was before your illness, neither of us did foresee
I know you thought it best that I leave you for a while
but I promised to be with you in sickness and in health
Please let me come home to you. I hate living in exile
Being with you, my love, is the measure of my wealth
My perfume is not too sweet. It will not overpower you
and has a hint of spice that keeps life from being a bore
Don't you miss me being near you? Darling, if you do,
tell me to come back and I'll be knocking on your door
I long to hold you, and tell you everything will be fine
Please stop shutting me out. My place is at your side
The choice you made for me to go should've been mine
Bring me home today, for our love cannot be denied
~ October 3, 2021 ~
Bring Me Home Contest
Sponsor: Mystic Rose Rose
There's a constant dream I have
We're walking down a path
Sunlight falling through the trees
Shafts of light, a gentle breeze
Flowing through your silky hair
Strands play, dancing on your face
You push them back so I can see
All your charm in full glory
Did I ever tell you this?
How beautiful you are
I don't just think, I know for sure
That you're the key to beauty's door
I long so much to feel
The softness of your touch,
To kiss your lips, to hold your hand,
Among other things, as such
I sense that you're nearby
When lilacs fill the air
The sweetest perfume permeates
Assuring me you're there
And long before the break of dawn
My thoughts of you have hours been
Taking us around the world
I write them down with ink and pen
Slush coated figures
have been drawn on the sidewalk,
dribble people, their disjoined limbs
twisted into guesses to be pecked over
by hammer driven beaks.
After the hard-packed snow
acrobats were doodled flying slipshod
below a trapezing wind.
If the frigid sky were a wall
its graffiti would spray can itself.
Here on the pavement the 20 questions
party game is in full swing.
Prompted by the ice art, we ask:
“Is it a place?”
“Is It an object?”
“Is it real or fictional?”
The answer to all these questions
is “YES.”
Meanwhile the swirling unfurling of meaning
still has legs
until feral pigeon wings sweep
even those last appendages away.
What is left
once meant a fleeting abstract something
but that was before
the concrete forgot how to read itself,
and the sky grew too puzzled
to play anymore.
The golden sun setting in splendor,
draws a long shadow out of me to silently show
it veils the joy, petrifies the ecstasy, I got in full
from many facets of my life so delightful.
The living marveled at so many things,
spinning the enchantment of the world,
making its contents ever so beautiful,
some I saw, some I felt,
many I couldn’t perceive
like the rhythm of your heart,
the colors of your chromatic mind,
but they all will wait for me, I know.
When the cold sun sinks in the haze of horizon,
I will disappear with my melted shadow
in the dark folds of the sun’s fading rays,
like a rain drop on the desert sand.
When the new sun will rise again
I will hold its beams, and rise from the dune.
I will fly back as a bird,
soar on the seamless blue of your sky,
drift over the endless azure of your sea.
I will glide on the green of your mountain,
bathe in the warmth of your summer rain.
I will sing to the tune of your sparkling stream,
build a nest in the niche of your heart.
I will come back,
come back again and again,
until I turn into the beauty the world is,
for you to adore me forever.
December 10, 2017
Can you feel the grain
Of the leather as you ride
Not knowing if the pain will slide
From your heart when you wake up all the hurt inside
From a love who promised to stay at your side?
But she's gone pulling with her your last ounce of pride.
Nothing left to do but slowly ride.
Can you feel the pain of the tears cried in vain?
Can you see the rain
Pulling slowly on the sky
Led by night winds that you prayed would die
Before dawn brings her chill upon your eastward flight
Towards the hills? Rebuild the ashes of your life
From a ruin ruled by dogs who prowl behind the light.
They guard the one you have loved for half your life.
Can you see the stain of the tears cried in vain?
Can you taste your fate
Spread before you? Has she lied
Igniting dry brush in your shattered mind?
Broken souls always gather in the rocks to hide.
But this world is the one you’ll come to know in time
Sharing jealous threats as guilt consumes your pride
With the vagabonds and keepers of the night.
Can you taste the trace of the tears cried in vain?
Is that the morning train
Whose call comes floating through the pines?
Stirring life from sleep the mountains rise
To the light and to the new breath of the morning. Bight
Back your wounds, free your demons and just look at life
Lived in full and though tomorrow’s still a two-day ride,
You’ll find Love’s longing lying at your side.
Is there much to gain from the tears cried in vain?
Written with a tip of the hat to Bernie Taupin
It was an impromptu journey,
A sudden and quick decision,
I needed to unwind,
I needed to ease the stress,
Travelling was a remedy,
It was a panacea,
My cousins were delighted to see me,
So were their parents,
It was a memorable moment,
Every stress and burden eased off,
Then came the time to leave,
I had come to the end of my stay,
Lectures had begun in full swing,
Staying further was a death trap,
I had a grade point to salvage,
I took the morning bus,
The driver was a hell racer,
He manoeuvred, meandered and swerved,
Some passengers' hair stood on end,
They pleaded for him to slow down,
He said,
Time was of the essence,
Arriving early was paramount,
He had overtaken a truck and
was neck to neck with the second,
Out of the blues came another facing us,
My heart had left its chamber,
I had seen my end,
The driver slowed down,
Swerved in between the two trucks,
We heard the sound,
It was like a hurricane as the truck sped past,
That was a close encounter with death,
I had seen it staring at me,
I had seen it put out its hands for an embrace,
The rest of the journey was at a steady speed,
It didn’t matter when we arrived anymore,
There was a calmness in the atmosphere.