Long Impractical Poems
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(buzzfeeding, kickstarting, needling darn noggin)
An effort to recall word, phrase,
musician... indigenous tribe...
most frustrating literary
endeavor to das scribe
aggravating enough to sub
bourbon spur teetotaler to imbibe
and/or nsync, whereby soul searching
devil's advocate demands bribe.
Lil brokeback Engelbert Humperdinck
(born Arnold George Dorsey) bent edict coercion
(think sexual mores)
scaring stripes off blushing zebra
bunched unencumbered vice pliable straw
aforementioned pablum admittedly "fake"
birthed within cerebral tenderloin
of impractical joker,
whereby fifty plus shades
of gray matter (mine)
chafed and rubbed raw
prevarication playfully did overdraw
and tax poetic license writ courtesy this paw
poor putz offal declension
sprouted within mum maw
noun tent to verb (bull eyes - red) to draw
flak, but merely to harmlessly entertain
so accept apologies (mine)
verses calling strong (lanced) arm of law.
I (garden variety poetaster) reckon fair game
media personalities grist for rumor mill, though lame
explanation given (funny first and surname)
adopted by supposed "finest middle-of-the-road
balladeers around," who co opted his stage name
from authentic Engelbert Humperdinck; selfsame
prodigy circa 1 September 1854 –
27 September 1921
German composer, who wrote, I gently exclaim
the opera Hansel and Gretel - a Grimm fairytale
actually frightful saga - read countless times
setting me boyhood imagination aflame
with mailer daemons, who haunted dreams
(mine) 'course in retrospect material tame
compared/contrasted with current pandemic
analogous as if mother Earth -
a metaphorical dame
experiencing long overdue reprieve, cuz shame
on *****sapiens belching pollutants
at any price to garner fortune and fame.
I crown the missus "champ impractical joker"
Unbeknownst the wife appeared unusually upbeat,
she did pretend and succeed
to give yours truly a special treat
aforementioned item alluded to purchased
at Liberty Ministry thrift store
3841 Ridge Pike
(some miles further east
same road identified as Main Street)
Collegeville, Pennsylvania 19426
I can show you proof courtesy
printed information on pocketed receipt.
Most times one garden variety generic bloke
(christened Matthew Scott Harris),
would with pursed lips think
and or mouth the words okey doke
what in the name of Judas Priest
by George, he a run of the mill
on the floss ordinary heavy mettle folk
doth thee spouse got up her (figurative) sleeve
thespian wannabe she never quite...
her constitute stardom quite a joke.
She practices April's fool day
(hoping nobody notices
as she looks askance)
every time she gets a chance
gleefully clapping her hands
while performing an impromptu (risque) dance,
when she pulls off
hat tricks of her trade
taking Europe in general and France
in particular by storm
madding crowds clamoring to prance
with said unsung hero.
The words mentioned above intended for you
dear anonymous reader to woo
allowing, enabling, and providing how I view
livingsocial linkedin with good n plenti true
without a shadow of doubt poetic license taken,
these words zealously, randomly, haphazardly
scattered across screen willy nilly I spew
trying to coerce coalescence of continuity
yet additionally trying to weave events
earlier today December 22nd, I review,
whereby yours truly while waiting in a queue
assorted merchandise fifty percent off
the spouse did avidly pursue
unbeknownst she would play a prank and outdo
pulling a doozy gag at my expense, he took netview
of utter tomfoolery, and readily admits Matthew
Scott Harris I nearly ate "faux chocolate soap"
finding wife in stitches, he too
did chuckle, cuz he knew
supposed treat smelled extremely fragrant
cocoa confection fortunately, I did not chew
but promptly spit out after sneezing atchew!
Its the darkness that gives me light
and the light only gives me chills,
I always look forward to walking at night,
shadows play tricks and is such a thrill
I prefer to sleep during the day,
and then experience city night life,
ramblings from which homeless say,
like the one who lost his wife,
She kept all his affairs in order,
Sometimes a death is murder
Its even better when its dark and rainy,
women look more beautiful cold & soaked,
its like how color captivates if grainy,
or a story's not ruined when foretold
I wish I could sleep and dream of her,
I only ever once heard her voice,
turned around and some other bird...
dreams can be cruel when they don't soothe
Its impractical
to be competent,
to be so alive,
and then flame dies.
Out on the streets,
so very down-beat,
so realistically,
unimaginable,
mental illness.
People who bless,
they don't understand,
but the quicksand,
could reach their minds,
And then they are messed like mine,
cut the god-damn ropes,
on the rickety bridge,
when you can't cope,
can't believe,
can't rest,
can't see.
I once had a homeless guy told he was free,
he actually looked like he was about to fly,
is life about karma answering to our decrees
either way, I just wish to lay in bed and die.
I took Angus for a walk this morning…it seemed only fitting
Angus is our neighbor’s dog whom we happen to be sitting.
We walked early before the sunrise while all the lights were low
Angus has Arthritis in his back leg…so we walked a little slow.
The block of houses next to us…we walked one time around
and as we walked I wondered what it’s like from his perspective on the ground.
Since it’s impractical for me to walk on all fours I thought this morning we could share…
Angus’s view from on the ground…and mine from in the air.
Angus paused after we stepped outside…I asked if he was in any pain
He wasn’t…he just stopped to smell…the earth after a rain.
With no one else around this early I told him this moment ours
and as he introduced me to a million bushes I countered with a million stars.
When he would stop to smell or listen…I’d stop to smell and listen too
and as he guided me into grass and shrubs we both were sprinkled with morning dew.
It was a short walk, Angus was limping, we didn’t go as far as we usually do
but he was just as excited walking on his three legs as I was on my two…
Because we found there is a serenity walking in the morning..a peacefulness we reap
as we tiptoe through the darkness while the night is still asleep.
Forgotten Hero
I was awesome;
destined to be rich and famous when I grew up.
Until that happened,
I settled for being a superhero…
And I was!
I was untouchable.
Bulletproof.
So fast you couldn’t even see me,
and faster still in my special shoes…
which was a good thing
because I had underwear on my head.
I was the picture of heroism
posed before the oscillating fan
which billowed my bed-sheet cape
and modulated my voice
to mimic a pre-pubescent Optimus Prime.
With a giftwrap-tube in hand
I was armed for any conflict.
Yet for all my power, I was incorruptible.
My faith was absolute…
in the certainty that
good always triumphs over evil,
and I never intended to lose.
I sought the distressed damsels
because that was the right thing to do…
not for any reward;
certainly not for their cootie-infested
kisses of gratitude.
I was great beyond everything I knew,
universally loved and adored.
I was the greatest hero the world had ever known,
and everyone wanted to be my friend…
…until they didn’t.
Because wearing fruit of the loom helmets
is for weirdoes and losers.
Because children need to stop daydreaming,
and focus on their studies.
Because not everyone can be rich and famous,
and it’s impractical to chase after foolish dreams.
Because there is no such thing as “special shoes.”
Because everything isn’t black-and-white, and
standing for what you believe to be good is intolerant,
and unacceptable.
Because superheroes aren’t real,
girls don't have cooties,
and it was time to grow up.
…and I have.
07/31/15
See, how easy it is,
To blink—
As it was to melt by your words, your… tender squeeze of endearing kindness…
I flowed along the currents of your sweet affection,
Engrossed by your rickety, boyish attraction for me,
Landing on colors I have tried not to wear all of my life…
My heart thumped your name from every impractical word,
And you squeezed on through in your fine, simplistic style
Then, as quick as a blink—
I began to cry, for you… crushed my heart into the dust below me…
You thought, you THOUGHT I was still stuck in that love rush!
You enhanced your crookedness and shunned my gifts away!
Each one spurt, EACH SPURT… back into the tube in which it came…
Each purposeful pump……..from a once swelling heart,
That would give anything for what you once amply gave!
Do you still blink?
Does your heart still thump?
…for mine has stopped…
Settling into love
for a person
for a sacred place
fertile
organic
rich growing space
Easy when felt
obviously
warmly
positively
copassionately
robustly returned
Difficult when mean
selfish
cruel
cold indifference
perpetuates competing
to not further communicate
Bilateral lose/lose
zero-sum competitive rules
Less golden than intending win/win
Unlikely to age gracefully
cooperatively
happily
healthily
safely
steadfastly saving
positive protagonist
panentheistically felt sacred faced
fast-paced race
through insufficient reconnecting time
Settling into fear
against another angry person
against an anxious all-consuming place
threatening stuck
neglected deadening space
Easier to be hard
to speak cruel
cold indifference
Forgetting impractical win/win curiosity
possibly both unorthodox and unsafe
cooperative economic co-investments
and politically transparent
vulnerable golden rules
predicting virtuous grow
of win/win co-passionate choice-making
for lose/lose Trauma
unconditional healthy-warm
and positively safe
from win/lose predative
degenerating toward lose/lose harm
for lack of win/win resilient
unconditional warm charm
Settling into love
for each interdependent person
for each polypathic sacred place
fertile recreation
organic speciation
rich growing
our neurosystemic healthy space.
"Love Writes Its Book: Elysian Fields and the Concept of Force Majeure"
Love writes its book
opens each page
and reads it to you like your Its lover
words drip like honey over your force majeure
judge, jury and earnest revelator
Love dances barefeet in its claret poetry
and holds your bleeding heart in its Elysian hands
you’ve lost your head like The Baptist
and Love, only Love, is your first and last thought
it could be the making of the eternal you;
notes,
like bare legs freedom running
find themselves wrapped around your keys, for playing
a different way of delivering poetry -
an informal opening;
Love writes its book
a fantasy,
a ripe confectionary
Love writes its book
opens each page
and reads it to you like your Its lover
words drip like honey over your force majeure
you're a performance
of Love within
all of its shades
Candide Diderot. ‘25
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there."
"Elysian Fields" refers primarily to the paradise in Greek mythology where the souls of heroes and the virtuous reside after death.
“Force Majuere” is a French term for "superior force" that refers to a contractual clause excusing a party from performing its obligations due to an unforeseen, extraordinary event beyond their control, making performance impossible, illegal, or impractical. Common examples include natural disasters, pandemics, war, or government-imposed restrictions.
confectionary.
confectionery.
At my birth, something happened up there...
into the wondrous constellations,
God Himself made them shine brighter
for this new born trascending life
into a destiny of greatness;
and my grateful smile deepened His delight!
Astrologers study the heavenly bodies:
stars, planets and the wondrous constellations
to predict the events of an individual's destiny...
from an ordinary one...to the most extraordinary;
fame is measured by a monetary value,
but greatness is a spirituality laid open to view!
Nowdays simplicity is looked upon with suspicion,
it seems a bit too spontaneous and impractical;
the modernist confounds it and confronts it,
treating it like an incurable disease of the outcast,
but no great man has ever been
ashamed of expressing it and propagating it!
We are building monuments of wonders,
and go far into the boundless Universe...
instead of undoing pain and disharmony,
curing the plagues that inflict this Humanity;
our society is too proud and arrogant...
nothing frightens us, and we still remain defiant!
If your fate favors you over the others,
who only can wish for such glorious moments
consumed in prosperity and greatness;
start cultivating the seeds of wisdom,
seeking out those truest friends living on the Earth...
to admire and share the wondrous constellations above!
I am going to write a funny poem
Why? Because I feel like it
Why do you go the extra mile?
Great waistline my friend
C'mon
I love watching "Impractical Jokers"
Why? They are so outrageous and daring
Something I wouldn't do
Not lol
How would you like it if everything you say
makes people laugh?
I don't think you would enjoy it
Because you don't know if they laugh with you
Or at you
I am a couch potato
Is anyone like me?
I don't want to do nothing
I just want to sit on my recliner and chill
Until I get my fill
I just can't get over how funny God is
He makes some of us like dark meat
and some of us like white meat
I am talking about chicken, mind you
Just think how wasteful it would be if all of us like dark meat
Or white meat
This way nothing goes wasted
Why do you think I am attracted to you?
God my friend
He puts something in you that causes something in me pulled lol
Yeah He has a sense of humor
I can sit here all day and talk about how funny God is
Why do you think some birds think of dancing for their mates?
Do you think it can just think of it?
Or do you think God is behind it?
Yeah you too
You would dance for your mate if you have a chance
And make a fool out of yourself
You don't care
Because it's called love
Ohhh
I could swear they put something in my Coke
Why do you think I have to have a Coke each day
Yeah it's no good
It's addicting
I think it's the sugar
Or the caffeine
Whatever it is, it is pulling me
to McDonald's
Got to stay away from that place
I am becoming a kid all over again
We had a celebration at work
to celebrate "Black History"
I am telling you
I admire the achievements they have done
and know they may have more to come
Just think how many obstacles they have overcome
Can you do it?
Talk about resilience
Endurance, strength, and so much more
Don't let the stereotype blinds you
See my friend
You look better that way
Anyway I will leave you for now
But hang on to my words, will ya
You'll need it
Haha