Laura Breidenthal | + Follow Poet |
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Blink

See, how easy it is, 
To blink—

As it was to melt by your words, your… tender squeeze of endearing kindness…

I flowed along the currents of your sweet affection,
Engrossed by your rickety, boyish attraction for me,
Landing on colors I have tried not to wear all of my life…
My heart thumped your name from every impractical word,
And you squeezed on through in your fine, simplistic style

Then, as quick as a blink—

I began to cry, for you… crushed my heart into the dust below me…

You thought, you THOUGHT I was still stuck in that love rush!
You enhanced your crookedness and shunned my gifts away!
Each one spurt, EACH SPURT… back into the tube in which it came…
Each purposeful pump……..from a once swelling heart,
That would give anything for what you once amply gave! 

Do you still blink?
Does your heart still thump?

…for mine has stopped…

Copyright © Laura Breidenthal | Year Posted 2015

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Duke Beaufort Date: 5/23/2015 6:31:00 AM Laura, you are very kind. I thought I would read what you wrote on 5/5/15 for starters and found this account of devastation. This is such a crushing feeling. Since I have felt it also, I can tell you that it can be universal--felt by me too. To enhance the feeling, I sometimes listen to "She's so heavy" by the Beatles. In any case, it is a paralyzing and painful state. I just want you to know that I am a fan of yours. Laura, you are very kind. Be well! Login to Reply

Kim Van Breda Date: 5/13/2015 7:07:00 PM Hi Laura....this poem is such a brutally honest perspective of so many scenarios we face as woman. Well written, and I love the way you impact things by repeating in capitals. Glad I stopped by to read this. xx~xx Login to Reply Laura Breidenthal Date: 5/13/2015 10:13:00 PM Thank you so much Kim! Can't wait to check out your poetry, and I'm glad you got to read this one! ~Laura

Hannington Mumo Date: 5/6/2015 1:31:00 AM Falling in love is easy. It presents all the fantastical dreams come true, hence: "I flowed along the currents of your sweet affection". Reality chips in not much later(within a 'blink') and all the ethereal castles come crumbling down. And you capture it so well here: "I began to cry, for you… crushed my heart into the dust below me…" Kudos! 777+++!!! Login to Reply Laura Breidenthal Date: 5/6/2015 1:33:00 AM Thanks Hannington! You understand the technicalities of this poem well. I always appreciate your input. ~Laura

Gary Bateman Date: 5/5/2015 4:33:00 PM Hello Laura, A very moving piece indeed!! I really like transitional shifts here with each "Blink." This speaks volumes to the spontaneity changes in emotions and responses between two people. And the ending with ". . . for mine has stopped . . ." cuts directly and deep. A definite "7" and a FAV from me. Best Always, Gary Login to Reply Laura Breidenthal Date: 5/5/2015 8:59:00 PM Hello again, Gary! Glad you enjoyed! ~Laura

Casarah Nance Date: 5/5/2015 7:40:00 AM I don't believe many people can pull off poetry without rhyme, it's a pet peeve of mine, rhyme and structure in a write. But you did awesome. You had me from the first word as I couldn't blink as the lines past. Nicely done :) Login to Reply Laura Breidenthal Date: 5/5/2015 8:59:00 PM Casarah, thanks. That means a lot. ~Laura

Amethyst Stone Date: 5/5/2015 7:37:00 AM Awesome poem! Very emotional Login to Reply Laura Breidenthal Date: 5/5/2015 8:58:00 PM Many thanks! I appreciate the feedback! ~Laura

Kp Nunez Date: 5/5/2015 5:47:00 AM I really love your poetry, dear friend. This one is another fine example. Seemingly simple, the words reached the recesses this readers heart. The last 3 lines said it all! 7. Hugs! Kim :) PS. Someone had the audacity, my friend? ;) That's my wink! Login to Reply Laura Breidenthal Date: 5/5/2015 6:31:00 AM Kim, your visits are refreshing. I always look forward to your feedback, maybe I don't express that enough... And thank you... that means.. A LOT and it boosts my confidence greatly. It's been a great week.. I shouldn't let him get me down. <3~Laura