Long Humph Poems

Bedlam and mayhem in the mistress's boudoir

Nsync with variations on a theme:
of drool worthy Reuben Sandwich
(consisting of corned beef, 
Swiss cheese, sauerkraut, 
Russian dressing between slices 
of rye bread that is grilled 
until the bread...

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Prolonged offal bout courtesy constipation... turgid song redux,
a worse hellish fate than perdition really sucks

As of early morning
today - September 8th, 2022,
I could not but barely move
mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found...

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Shh-aaah....shh-aah, Oh how never ending is the sea..' I thought  I  should come down here
Maybe it will help my insight into this terrible event??...Oh I don't know..' you just can't 
work things/people out...

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Baneful brickbats begat grievous barrier

Tell tale indelible woe y'all
privy to learn yours truly harbors
traces of the masterful
impregnable prepubescent wall
still extant scads of decades since
complex edifice erected to force tall
adolescence - permanently leaving me, 
(a poor...

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The Bible Itself, Explains Itself   (2 Pet. 1: 20)
Explains It Better, Than Anyone Else
Once, It’s Taken Off The Shelf
& Explore Complete Message Left

The Bible Tells, Which Words Are Allegorical    ...

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Hey, what's up Pete? Same old stuff eh?

Alright, lemme swivel this chair around 'n you climb up here. Bout time you come in .You 
lookin' even worse than usual!
  Whatzat? Yeah well I look...

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Dragon polished his nails and admired himself in the mirror once again; a daily ritual getting so old.  The one lousy hair on his chin, protruding from a small wart which he called a,...

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Automobile prohibitive maintenance costs
pitches me pitifully begging for alms
lamenting dog forsaken
melon collie unpleasant circumstances
pleading with outstretched palms
disgraced to beg, perhaps donate
major organ and/or entire body

to ease vehicular qualms
aha... methinks the missus could pose
as ventriloquist after...

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Hmm...What Discursive Poetic Theme Shall I Write About...

Today (a rather brisk, chilly,
and otherwise sat
tiss factory twirly delightful
December 18th, 2018) matte
her of fact quite
refreshing noontime, while this fat

tend plot of Earthen surveyed terrain
situated over scat
herd modest...

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Prolonged offal bout courtesy constipation... redux
a worse hellish fate than perdition

At least forty eight hour time span
lapsed whereby big boy wanted to cry
explaining how yours truly 
felt he would die
an undertaking malaise
found me experiencing physical...

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Bedlam and mayhem in the mistress's boudoir

(Nsync with variations on a theme:
various and sundry
pseudo lurid fictitious escapades)
mostly I did merrily wet
whet madness aye ever did dream.)

The missus personal trappings
strewn helter skelter
every perilous step fraught
with danger...

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"Come closer, you kids, let me tell you a story:
now you all see that there morning glory? Well
that was the blue of this little boy's eyes, born
right in this village; they named him Eli."

"Those eyes...

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Ah, Paris, is still calling me, as a romantic lover that has been the 
                 background of my dreams....

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During the bloom of youth, in the spring of vitality,
Everything is sparkling and has a fresh, real quality. 
Summer is the season of growth and rebirth in life, 
Every day brings fresh dreams of conquering strife.

In the...

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less than twenty four hours after dashing off a poem 
   explaining why i wanted to die
found me experiencing physical duress vis a vis, 
   a bowel movement wherein waste unable...

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Less than twenty-four hours after dashing off a poem 
   explaining why i wanted to die
found me experiencing physical duress vis a vis, 
   a bowel movement wherein waste unable to...

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Traces of the masterful
impregnable prepubescent wall
still extant scads of decades since
complex edifice erected to force tall
permanently leaving me unmoored,
marooned, and furloughed ready for pall
bearers to spill soil upon my
then emaciated stick figure overall,

an unlovely bag...

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Ignatius Sprout pushed himself to the surface

As he was the foremost elected leader

Followers, Bamber, Gottre, Bovis and Night

were all reluctant to escape their prison

None could remember how or why they were trapped

Bamber's head popped out,...

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Upon Discovering A Wishbone...
(to late for Hanukkah)

I attach very
little value, nee doubt
to farfetched linkedin
phenomena brought about
when breaking off

the larger section
of a wishbone,
sans effortless knockout,
my dominant hand
did hold out,

while yours truly pretended
to freak out
with a playful
twist...

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I am a full figured woman
inside and out
Embracing my shape
as each curve tells her own story

My head you no longer enter
my heart you can not break
now you mad I no longer give,
SO...."ha ha" now you...

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While I sat at a sofa
In the living room
I looked everywhere
No one was there
My parents sleeping, my sister sick 
And I am waiting for the bus
Suddenly the made called for me:
The bus louzana
So I carried...

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You’re the world’s worst hiking buddy
How did we end up so muddy
Not even sure we can scrub it!

How would I know
Can’t stick my hand in that hole
I thought you had the first aid kit

Yea I...

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Ho hum, the doldrums:
I twiddle my thumbs
and scratch my bum.
I bumble ‘round,
and when I’m done,
I murmur, mumble, humph and hum.

Ding-dong, the same old song:
I bang my drum
and clang my gong;
I even brought
my bell along.
Tinkle, ting,...

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She made the sign of the cross as she passed the park by the cathedral,
His Baptist legs stopped dead on its tracks killing his amorous rush,
His ‘whatever voice’ said, “choose your churchified kind”
The Presbyterian friend...

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Playing favorites
In bed with the enemy.
Body language
speaks volumes.
you meander over
like...
"eeny meenie jipsaleenie"
to the one you
love the best.
Plop down,
like...

"ooh ahh ambaleenie"
somebody
just
got chosen
like...
"Atchie patchie goom a ratchi"
I Love You!
All the top choices
feel dejected.
Just knew;
That this person
would have...

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