Long Hottie Poems
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I rush every morning holding my coffee .
I board the bus , checking my phone
I want no problems .
As mind prepares for hectic hours
some daring guy breathes on my ear,
questioning me for my IG .
beyond upset
I say : no way.
Another guy at 7’s platform wishes
the same ,
he’s fine ,
I give in .
I finish work and I feel drained
And again on the bus
Coming back home an old guy casually
gives me his number
and he says :-call me
I feel disgusted .
The next day comes.
The first guy stands in front of me
The bus is packed ,
and he tells me please give me your IG .
I feel the sin of my hypocrisy
so out of pity ,
I give in .
One minute later he is texting me
He likes my pics , he hearts my comments ,
OMG he is so extra !
I have to ghost him .
Three days have passed
He hates my guts , if looks could kill …
I would be dead tomorrow morning.
Then he gets salty
He writes I’m basic , and even chunky.
Then he posts selfies with his own shorty
That’s it !
I have to block him .
The hunky one , he booty texts me
I check my phone it’s 3:am
Asking to meet me
so we can cuddle until the sunrise.
Forgot to mention his IG contacts
are only women , with huge sweet bums
and scarce clothing .
I can’t reply I have my pride
hottie and all I have to block him.
And every day repeats same stories
of dummy guys
asking for something.
When I say no I’m nasty B,
if I say yes I’m nasty B.
Only cause
I ignore them.
As you can see I have my motives,
to my dismay this city is full of spineless men
Younger and older.
Still I have old pops phone number
I haven’t called him
Maybe I will , I’m very morbid .
This collaboration is with Jan Allison
We met at speed dating and you really caught my eye
I thought I’d hit the jackpot, you were such a handsome guy
We spent some minutes chatting and you asked me for a date
Agreed to meet at Gino’s at a quarter after eight
Dressed to the nines and on the corner of the block
I saw you brought your mother 'Oh boy' that was a shock!
We spent the night flirting, like the house was caught on fire
Oh Bob I think you’re so darn hot, you fill me with desire
I was flattered when you asked me, on a date, that much is true
But I really wish you'd had bid your Mum a fond adieu?
I think we could get serious; I’d love to see you more
I’m pleading with you Bob, just leave your mother at the door!
Oh, she seams so darn aggressive in a way I can't believe
and the things, she said she'd like to do with me, I can't conceive
I hope my Mother doesn't notice all the signs I see
the way this little woman throws herself, all over me
Well, perhaps bringing Mom, was not such a good idea
But how can I take her home, and leave this hottie here
Ok, I called a cab and had my mother taken home
So, me and Jan could have a little time here all alone
It seems we hit it off, but our time was running out
When I heard across the room another man give out a shout
As my heart started sinking, I knew that I'd been had
When the man came up to me, and said, Hello I'm Her Dad
A queen was spinning flax one day.
She gave her loom a jerk.
(Don’t ask what “flax” or “looms” might be,
or why a queen must work).
She pricked her finger (careful, now!)
yet Sigmund Freud would say
these children’s tales are full of smut –
there is no other way.
Three drops of blood fell in the snow
(she’s spinning flax outside?)
She thought that she’d commemorate
her perforated hide.
“I’ll have a daughter,” Queenie thought,
“with lips of ruby red,
and skin as white as that there snow!
Let’s go!” And so to bed.
Her weaving-loom was black as jet
- another tint to add –
and when she found she was ‘with child’,
a daughter’s what she had.
The girl grew fair, with jet-black hair,
and skin, unblemished, white:
those curvy hips, those luscious lips!
She was a gorgeous sight.
But mother never missed a chance
to put her daughter down:
“Just understand, I rule this land –
the only babe in town!”
“Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
who’s the tasty totty?”
The magic mirror told her straight,
“Queen, you’re the only hottie!”
But adolescence changes things,
and Snow White turned out fair:
to use the common parlance, she
had grown a lovely pair!
“Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
I’m still the choicest chick!”
“Well, just about,” the mirror said:
“the kid’s improving quick!”
We’ll drop the Huntsman who was tasked
to take her to the river
(Snow White, that is) and rip her guts,
so Queen could eat her liver.
Why did the hunter like the girl?
Was it her curvy bits?
A friend, he proved – and probably
A friend with benefits!
He told the truth, and now the youth
slipped something in the booze.
She turned real mean – she got the queen
the reddest pair of shoes!
The birthday bash was fairly flash:
for Queenie, two surprises –
no, not the wine ‘improved’ with hash,
as everyone surmises!
Snow White was still alive, the first:
she wore a see-through blouson.
“Mommy Dearest,” red lips pursed,
“Just slip these bright red shoes on.”
The Queen put on the birthday gift
and started twirling, prancing:
the mirror told her, “You’ve been stiffed!
You’re dying, Queen – not dancing!”
That Snow White dame must take the blame:
for she had put together
two metal sheets, a red-hot treat!
Those shoes weren’t made of leather!
despite what outside temperature register
(even absolute zero), the unofficial arrival
of summer occurs, when thee eel hip tic,
barren, ass hymn tote, ova hottie, foxy,
Earthly, scantily clad, bomb shell nubile
babe, bra zen lee, ineluctably, innocently
insouciantly, prominently, promotes pro
pry eh tarry, plus risque provocative proxy,
trigger numb matt trick functions, as she
doth seductively saunter to approach ever
so close, yet never crosses mine orbit,
but unknowingly teases (like a firecat,
when catch bull struck four), my test
toss tee roan needle swings wildly in
due sing this ordinary system of a down
mellow male to feel doubly breasted,
hair reed kinkily, tongue mortised tenon
facilitating flagellated fortuitous forays,
go win for inflected miniature escarpment,
where groan'n pinkish tulips anchored
right at the estuary (nee slippery sluice),
sans self cleaning coven at the intersection
of happy and healthy, heavens to Betsy
bursting provocative cadenzas whence,
mine skipping heart beat fosters fertilizing
fecund fresh field, forthwith fallow paean
seeds of life and White Lily deemed verb
hot ten fruit, no matter huck cull berry
finis wrought twig and berries sounding
off a snap, crackle and pop.
Her lips were breathe taking
Her life not worth taking
Dying before I knew what love was
Holding her hand was such a love rush
Playing together on the playground
Living life by the beat of our sound
Staying up late holding each other
Not just a girlfriend, more like a lover
Being brought up, I was always nice
Broke into tears, when she lost her life
Her stepdad snapped acting crazy
He was fat, bald, and kinda lazy
Brought tears, beating her for hours at a time
But she maintained looking really fine
Exuberant fragrance from her body
Playing around with a hottie
On her last day it was sad
I got in an argument with her dad
He drove her to his old place
Then he shot her in the face
I found out and started to screamin'
Balled my fist up and battled demons
She was my only secret bliss
Not to mention my first kiss
She believed in all my hopes forever
Around her I felt lite as a feather
Emulating feelings from my heart
Broke down then began to start......crying
When I was teenboy, nothing else mattered
Than making out in the back of a Chevy
With a gorgeous young hottie with boobs to die for
Breathing became rather heavy
Now I'll try to behave coz the censors are watching
And your computers will probably short circuit
With the powers vested in me, I'll try to behave
But it'll be quite a challenge I'll admit
All my many friends I have here on the Soup
Are aware of my penchant for the naughty stuff
After all what's life about but to wiggle and jiggle
While parading around town in the buff
So far the censors haven't any reason to complain
I've been relatively prim and proper
But I sure can't keep this up indefinitely though
I'll blow a gasket as I get all hot and bothered
Eventually though, I catch hold of myself
Since a teenboy, I've actually learned self-control
Can now walk down the street without molesting girls
And the drooling I've controlled on the whole
So in closing I'll say this, my very good friends
There should be a law that allows us guys
The freedom to molest hot voluptuous young fillies
And make out in the back of a Chevy as a prize
© Jack Ellison 2016
WORLD FAMOUS
HE WANTED OUT OF THE CONTRACTILE PAPERS THAT LIMITED
HIS PRESENT EXISTENCE.
HE COACHED BEYOND WELL.
HE TURNED AMATEURS INTO NEAR CLOSE PRO'S: BUT THEY REFUSED TO SHINE
THEY REFUSED TO BE OUTSPOKEN, THEY REFUSED TO ADD THE COHESION THEY NEEDED
TO BE BEST AMONGST THEMSELVES: AND BEST IN THE WORLD THEY WORKED IN.
INSIGHT OF FAILURE HE RECOGNIZED HIS PRESENT POSITION
AND DOUBTED HE COULD
ENCOURAGE THOSE WHO FOLLOWED HIM TO BE BETTER THAN THEY WERE.
HE WANTED OUT OF HIS CONTRACT: BUT A CLAUSE LIMITED HIM FROM ASKING TO LEAVE.
SO HE DEVISED A SCHEME, TO HAVE THE STAFF ASK HIM TO LEAVE.
HE TOLD HIS FRIEND WHAT HE WAS GONNA DO, AND HIS FRIEND ADVISED HIS AGAINST IT.
DAYS AFTER TALKING TO HIS FRIEND, A WOMAN APPROACHED HIM AND ASKED IF SHE AND HER CAMERA CREW COULD FOLLOW HIM AROUND FOR A FEW DAYS TO
DO A DOCUMENTARY ON SUCCESS AND RUGBY. HE ALLOWED THE CREW TO FOLLOW HIM, THE WOMAN KNEW OF HIS PLAN, AND NEVER SPOKE OF IT.
SHE WANTED TO SEE IF HE'D CARRY OUT WHAT HE HAD TOLD HIS FRIEND IN CONFIDENCE, AND HIS FRIEND HAD LEAKED.
WELL THE COACH, ORDERED A TEAM MEETING, AND SAID THEY HAD TO MEET HIM AT A RESTAURANT IN TOWN, TO GO OVER NEW PLANS.
HE ASKED EVERYONE TO ORDER THE SAME THING, " A ROARING hOTTIE" HE SAID IT WAS A SWEET CHICKEN DISH AND IT WOULD COST $25.00 A PLATE.
WELL THE DAY CAME FOR THE TEAM TO MEET AT THE RESTURAUNT, THEY WENT IN AND SAT DOWN. THE COACH CALLED THEM AND TOLD THEM HE'D BE THERE IN 30 MINUTES. HE TOLD THE TEAM CAPTAIN TO ORDER THE "SWEET HOTTIES' AND BY THE TIME THEY'D BE SERVING HE'D BE WALKING THROUGHT THE DOOR.
WELL THE TEAM CAPTAIN ORDERED THE "SWEET HOTTIES" AND THEY SAT DOWN AND WAITED FOR THE COACH.
THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE CURTAIN FLOW OPEN AND DANCERS CAME OUT AND GREETED THE TEAM.
THEY WERE MOALO DANCIE' WHILE THEY DANCED WITH THE RELUCTANT TEAM A CAMERA CREW FILMED, AND THE DANCER GAVE
THE TEAM CAPTAIN A LETTER.
HE READ THE LETTER AND IT SAID.
WE'D BE IN FIRST PLACE BY NOW
IF YOU BUNCH OF --------------'S
WOULD DO YOUR DAMN JOB
i QUIT!
SIGNED
"THE cOACH"
336.
The Seduction of Ursula
Oh Ariel, do you think you can hide from me…
By changing your body’s sexuality?
What a shame? What a timidity?
However, I like the way you transformed your body
Your bulging biceps & chocolate abs attract me
Lol! My raging enmity turned into salivating bestiality!
Hihihi! An octopus being seduced by a fish? So funny!
It’s the greatest abnormality under the sea!
A very big insult to my superiority!
But anyway, come to my tentacles you hot twink so sexy
Hihihi! Feel the loving embrace of your ex-mortal enemy
Aha! Ex-enemy!... Yes! ‘Coz I’m now an admirer of thee!
Oh I forget…I’m still a clumsy bulky lady
Unable to match the strong muscles of thee
Hihihi! So now watch me as I change too my entity…
Hahaha! Here I am, lo! Now a male like thee!
My tentacles’ muscles are no longer flimsy!
I can hug you now so tightly!
Witness oh Triton, as I with your fruity
Hahaha! Gotcha! Oh Ariel, your warm flesh is tasty
Struggle more! It tickles me! Oh so yummy!
Away Flounder! Don’t disturb! We’re in’ busy!
Away Sebastian! We’re doing our business privately!
Hahaha! That’s it, Flotsam & Jetsam! Banish the animosity!
Now come, oh hottie Ariel…let’s go into serene secrecy…
To my private room in this corner of the sea
Where it’s only you and me!
Ah!...This is the Seduction of Ursula! Heavenly gay joviality
A kiss of vascularity on your muscularity
Oh Ariel! You’ve just broken my virginity!
-02/13/2015
(Dumarao)
*Disney Characters Sex Change Collection
Oh you know the type—
the orchid woman
a cosmopolitan who cosmo sips
between snips of gist
her charisma a starship —collides
with your star-full eyes
supernova for Casanova
her pouty lips knit a glamour-mag smile
rows of sugar-white pearls
strung shiny straight
behind wet-red slicks of a Revlon stick
—cherry-juice bait dilates your want to taste
orchid woman’s glamorized mouth
for the masses to idolize
for many to fantasize
for her to tantalize
and advertise
there’s no need to compromise
with you
or your penny-candy conversation—
when beauty is legal tender
why invest in a waste of words?
ooh, orchid woman is w-i-l-d
an exotic sun-tanned narcotic
erotic her despotic bloom
quixotic your contemplation;
your entangled-limbs-expectation
that this frilly filly blooms just for you
and oh! just look how the honey makers buzz
watch the money-makers spend their sums—
worker bees blinded by her blonde neon
fall in her wake…
or maybe ‘diamond pro’s’ bling
stings and wrings their eyes
…who cares who falls..
when mere red rose adorations
and sticky sap Hallmark incantations
bear not the fruits of 24-karat donations—
Mmm! Mmm!
her traipse does shake like mango jelly sweet
orchid woman’s long-stemmed catwalk walk
full-rounded bouncy-buoyant racy-lacy-ecstasy
yup.. a thoroughbred— she’ll have you ridin’ high
to your credit and blame
you won’t feel her stiletto tips
when she diva-gold-digs ya
as nothing more than a runway-ramp
all slinky-strut-hips
and stay-the-night-vamp
till fly girl wields her strappy high-heels
in a rhythmical click-clack
all over the next middle-age stage
indeed! orchid woman
a hot-house hottie
fussy stuffy lil hussy—
...too much water?
….not enough water?!
oh no! she’s wilted—
sniffle.. snivel.. “where did I go wrong?!!”
mm-hmm.. high maintenance is s-u-c-h a turn on…
yeah… orchid woman is w-i-l-d (eye roll..)
Lil mama in a Q50 infinity
Known to handle drama
Pulls up any vicinity
know a broad in a Amg
we hit the drive through theater
And we blow on trees
I know a hottie in a Beamer
She fiends for the d
Trying to have my baby
in a swooped up m3
Another shorty in a Tesla
Always smoking gas
Pulls up just to charge up
We loving in the back
Now I’m in a jag
This chick loves to brag
Ratchet ass hell
She ain’t got no class
Mama in a v dub
Fly mamasita
Use to be my dealer
Now she on flea
Cruising in a cooper
I’m with a fine cougar
Taught me a couple lessons
I call her my tutor
Freaky ass shorty in a
Honda accord
Open 24 she use to take me to store
If you see me in a corvette
You know she a war vet
Every time she pulls up
She meets me at my door step
I’m in a nine eleven
Clutching on her thighs
Mashing like the dash board
She texting with her man
Big body hellcat
But shorty was petite
Lets me take the steering wheel
While she gets in fleek
Lifted I’m in a tundra
A dike mutha lover
She pulls on all the females
I’m with her in the summer